


Need you to be sure

by morsku



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Amerithaikong, Amerithaikong are messy, Confusion, Drunkenness, Friendship, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Very wholesome Yugjae, established jjp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-06-15 07:42:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 41,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15408261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morsku/pseuds/morsku
Summary: Jackson's back in Seoul, Mark's definitely not over him and Bambam tries to drown his feelings in one-night stands. Add in a sprinkle of annoyed best friends, confused roommates and a lot of alcohol and you got yourself a real mess - and the pile of unfinished school assignments just keeps on growing.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> hello!  
> it's been literal years i've written a multi-chapter fic, but here we are wow.  
> i don't have any particular update dates, but i will try and update soon, since almost the complete fic is finished but needs a lot of editing. i was initially going to post the first chapter when i'm completely done but i couldn't wait :----)  
> but yeah, a got7 college!au no one asked me for but i did it anyway, it's very much projecting from my own life so everyone's drunk and bad with feelings.  
> if you enjoy this first chapter, please leave feedback and kudos, it means the world to me. <3

"Jaebum, I'm home!" Jinyoung singsongs and Jaebum is instantly on his feet from the couch and running through the entrance, only to instantly turn around when he realizes that Jinyoung's not alone and he's pretty much naked, save from the ratty boxers with cat pictures on them.

As he runs back to his room to get dressed, Jinyoung hides his face behind his hands.

"Home? I thought you don't live here?" Jackson next to him asks curiously but Jinyoung just shrugs. They've just arrived at Jinyoung's boyfriend's apartment that Jinyoung had promised to show to him since he was looking for a new one now that he's back in Seoul and apparently Jaebum was looking for a new roommate.

"Not completely," he replies and Jackson cocks an eyebrow. He takes a good look around the apartment that's visible from the doorway and nods to himself, it's quite nice. "I have my own apartment a few blocks from here, but my roommate is weird and I like spending time here more."

"Why didn't you just move here, then?" Jackson inquires.

"I want to have a quiet place to study, it's hard to focus here," Jinyoung gestures towards Jaebum stepping out of his bedroom, who's now gathered some clothing, still looking embarrassed. He has managed to find an over sized t-shirt and sweatpants and he makes his way towards the two in the doorway.

"You didn't tell me you'd bring company," Jaebum mutters, giving a quick glare at Jinyoung who just grins.

"I actually did, you just didn't listen." Jinyoung glares back and mocks Jaebum's tone.

Jackson coughs, feeling a little awkward. "Uh, hey?"

Jaebum turns to look at the man with bleached hair. "You remember Jackson, don't you?" Jinyoung nods towards him and Jaebum turns his head to the side. "My friend? From high school? We've gone out drinking together?" Jaebum turns his head to the other side and it kind of reminds Jackson of a puppy trying to apprehend what his owner is trying to tell him. Jinyoung sighs. "Anyway, he's your new roommate."

Jaebum blinks a few times, turning his gaze from Jackson to Jinyoung and back.

Jackson panics. "I- uh- I thought we were just checking out the place first, Jinyoung?"

"And I thought I'd be the one making this decision," Jaebum murmurs and studies Jackson intently.

"Listen," Jinyoung takes a deep breath, already clearly irritated with the situation. "Jackson, there's nothing to check out. With your budget this apartment is an absolute dream, you won't find a better one. And Jaebummie, I know Jackson and he's clean, somewhat quiet and cooks well. He also already knows we're dating so you won't have to pretend we're not to some random dude."

Jaebum and Jackson look at each other until Jaebum offers his hand for Jackson to shake.

"Welcome, let me get you your keys right away."

 

Jinyoung wasn't lying about the apartment being amazing and Jackson got another proof for why Jinyoung should always be trusted.

When he, a couple of days later, brings his bags into the apartment and Jaebum shows him his room, he's in awe. The room is nothing like the small dorm room he used to live in before moving back to Seoul.  
There's room for a bed and a work table to set his computer on. There's enough space for all of his clothes and shoes. There's even a full sized mirror on the wall by the door, which Jaebum informs was left by his last roommate.

The apartment has an actual kitchen, not just a sad little fridge with a tabletop gas stove, an actual kitchen that he can cook more than ramen in. Not only that, there's a door in the kitchen that leads out to a small balcony. A balcony. In a college student's apartment.

The balcony holds two chairs and a small table and it offers a beautiful view down from the fifth floor the apartment is located in. The sun shining through the glass lining the balcony makes the balcony so warm it feels like summer all over again.

"How is this apartment so cheap?" Jackson practically squeals to Jinyoung and Jaebum, who are showing him around after they helped him carry his stuff into his new room.

Jaebum shrugs. "A family member was renting and I managed to get it for way cheaper than it actually was."

They walk into the living room, which is - to Jackson's shock - an actual separate room of it's own.  
There's a big couch and a decently sized flat screen TV with some game consoles. Before he manages to even ask how Jaebum - a poor film major - even has money to own all of this equipment, Jinyoung replies.

"Only the TV is Jaebum's, all the rest belong to our friends," he must've caught Jackson's wide eyes and mouth gaping open. "This is by far the biggest apartment, so they all hang out here - all the time."

"So you have a lot of friends over?" Jackson looks between the both of them and they both nod. "Cool, I'd love to meet new people now that I'm starting at the university."

"We could invite the guys here so you'd get to meet them," Jaebum suggests to Jinyoung who shakes his head.

"Not tonight, at least, I have an exam to study for," Jinyoung states like it's only in his hands to decide. Although, judging from the dynamic of their relationship, it probably is in his hands to decide.

"Friday?" Jackson pipes in. He'd have a few days to get settled in and unpack his things, maybe even get to know his new roommate a bit better.

Jinyoung nods and Jaebum grins.

"Friday it is."

 

"So, how long have you been together?" Jackson asks casually over breakfast.

It's the first morning in his new apartment and after waking up, he found Jaebum already awake cooking breakfast. It turned out Jaebum doesn't have any classes for the day and it's not until the next Monday when Jackson has to start at his new university, so they'd have a bit of time to get to know each other a little more.

Jackson has already told him he's changed from the Busan university to the one in Seoul. Changing in the middle of a year was definitely a struggle, but after a year and a half in, Jackson had realized that Busan was not the city for him and the language program in Seoul university would actually offer him a lot more than his previous university.

Jaebum gives him a look. "Since our first year. So... two years now?"  
Jackson hasn't gathered that much about Jaebum yet, but it still doesn't come as a surprise that he doesn't remember how long he's been with Jinyoung. Other things he's noticed are that Jaebum's very laid back and chill and that Jinyoung's got him completely wrapped around his little finger. Jackson doesn't blame him, when he was crushing on Jinyoung during high school, he would've let him run him over with a car and thanked him afterwards.

He also seems to be very passionate about eating. He's back digging into his food.

"Are you dating anyone?" Jaebum asks after a while of comfortable silence. Jackson shrugs.

"I had a fling or two back in Busan, but nothing serious. So if you have any hot single friends, hit me up," Jackson finishes with a cheesy wink and Jaebum snorts. His smile disappears suddenly and his tone turns completely solemn. "I'm actually serious."

Jaebum laughs out loud at Jackson's sudden playful seriousness and Jackson can't help but join in as well. After calming down, he takes a look at Jaebum, who's still snickering to himself.

He wasn't completely sure about moving in without getting to know his roommate beforehand, but the first impression of Jaebum seems like he's going to do just fine.

 

  
"Honeys, I'm home!" It's Jinyoung, yelling so loud both Jackson and Jaebum emergence from their rooms to check out what's happening. He's carrying three grocery bags and judging from the clinking of the bottles, he had made a detour to the liquor store like they had asked. There are bags of chips and candy peeking out from the other bag and Jaebum - instead of helping Jinyoung - just steals one of the bags of chips and opens it while staring at Jinyoung taking off his jacket.

"How did the exam go?" Jackson asks while going in to help Jinyoung with his grocery bags before he starts yelling at them.

"Good, as usual," Jinyoung grins and gives a small kiss to Jaebum's cheek as a greeting who fakes being grossed out. Jinyoung casually slaps his arm and Jaebum apologizes with a proper kiss on his lips.  
"Good enough to have a reason to celebrate."

Jinyoung's a law major and even in high school, he was one of the smartest students the entire school held. Getting into studying law at Seoul wasn't an easy task but it didn't come as a surprise that Jinyoung got in on his first try.

Jackson takes the bag he's carrying to the kitchen and starts unpacking it on the counter. There's wine, there's beer, there's vodka. Jackson gives an impressed look at Jinyoung. "Seems like you really aced it."

The look Jinyoung gives him tells that Jackson just said the most obvious thing there was. Jinyoung wasn't really humble about being smart. The two had followed Jackson into the kitchen and Jinyoung unpacks the third grocery bag that actually had food in it.

"Now, the boys are going to be here in two hours, so Jaebum...," he turns towards his boyfriend who's leaning against the doorframe after setting everything in the fridge.  
"We have an hour."

"An hour for what-" Jackson starts but stops asking questions when Jinyoung tugs at Jaebum's hand and leads him to Jaebum's bedroom, closing the door behind them.

 

The first one out of their friends that Jackson meets is Youngjae.

He's still in the bathroom doing his hair when he hears loud yelling from the door and peeks out to see what the hell is going on. Laughing loudly in the doorway with Jaebum stands an adorable looking boy, wearing a blue button up shirt and black shorts, with a hat on his head and huge smile on his face. He's carrying a bottle of soju and he notices Jackson's head staring at them.

"Is that your new roommate?" the man asks Jaebum who nods. He takes a few long steps and he's standing in front of Jackson. "I'm Youngjae."

"Jackson," Jackson smiles back, he can't help it, Youngjae's smile is contagious. "Hold on, I'll finish doing my hair and I'll be right there!" He sneaks back into the bathroom.

In a few minutes, all four of them are sitting on the sofa. Jackson's already found out that Youngjae's a music major and he has the voice of an angel. He's also fairly certain that Jaebum and Youngjae are great friends, judging from the amount of inside jokes they share and Jinyoung doesn't laugh at.

He's also realized that Youngjae's fucking precious.

The conversation between the four of them goes smoothly and Jackson feels at ease. They've all opened beers or fetched glasses of wine and visibly relaxing with the help of alcohol. Jinyoung's leaning against Jaebum as they laugh at Youngjae telling a story about his dog doing something cute.

See, fucking precious.

Soon, the doorbell rings again and Jaebum stands up to open the door. Jackson has the chance to study what he's wearing, since he's only seen Jaebum in sweats so far. He's put on jeans and a tight-fitting black jumper, showing off that there actually is a pretty nice body under his hoodies.

"So Mark couldn't make it?" Jinyoung mutters to Youngjae who shrugs and Jackson hardly registers what they're talking about when Jaebum's opening the door to two people.

The man who walks in first makes Jackson's breath get caught in his throat. He's tall, yet not as tall as his friend, with long, slender limbs and ashy blonde hair. He's in skinny jeans that hug his legs in all the right places and a loose, collared shirt that's unbuttoned to reveal a smooth chest and apparent collarbones. There's a choker clasped around his neck with a tiny, golden charm hanging off of it.

Jackson doesn't know his name but he knows one thing - he's the most delicious piece of ass Jackson's seen in a long, long time. He also knows that it's been three weeks since he last had sex.

The other one is tall, lanky but clearly well toned, with dark brown hair and a huge smile. His ears are pierced and he's dressed casually in a black t-shirt and tight black, ripped jeans.

"Who's that?" he whispers, almost so loud the men at the door hear him. Jinyoung glances at the door and lets out a big sigh.

"I'm guessing you mean the guy who looks like all of your boyfriends you've had so far? That's Bambam," Jinyoung replies. Jackson looks at Bambam but then fake-glares at Jinyoung. How dare he call out that Jackson has a thing for tall, skinny boys with pastel hair and a great fashion sense. "The taller one is Yugyeom."

Jackson's still staring at Bambam when the man notices him staring. They look at each other for a while, Bambam licks his lips, his plump, beautiful lips - Jackson tries his hardest not to faint - and finally looks away. Jackson can almost hear Jinyoung shaking his head. "Calm down," he whispers. "Get to know him first." Jackson's not entirely sure what he means by that.

Yugyeom and Bambam make their way to the others and greet Jackson, introducing themselves.

"I guess we're all here, since Youngjae's roommate couldn't make it," Jaebum claps his hands together. "Everyone, this is Jackson. My new roommate and the newest add to the family."

 

After a while, Jackson's found out Yugyeom and Bambam are the two youngest of their friend group. They're both on their first year, Bambam majoring in media and Yugyeom in business and economics. He also finds out Yugyeom is an actual professional dancer, who's part time job is being a dance coach at the local dance studio. Jackson obviously wanted to know why he didn't major in dance, and Yugyeom simply explains that his dream is to open his own dance studio, which obviously requires a good knowledge in how to run a business.

Then, Jackson decides to break the ice by introducing them all to a drinking game he learned from his friends from Hong Kong and as with all drinking games, the effects are disastorous and it takes less than an hour for them all to be completely wasted. Jaebum's sleepily clinging onto either Jinyoung or Youngjae. Youngjae's laughter is filling up the room completely. He's seen Yugyeom and Bambam dab six times now, and Bambam's gotten up to twerk twice. On multiple occasions, Jinyoung's gotten up to tell everyone how amazing his own ass is and then managed to model how great it looks in the jeans he's wearing.

In the midst of drunken foolery, Yugyeom suggests a game of truth and dare. They all agree, although there are a few whines about Yugyeom always wanting to play truth or dare. Jinyoung claims it's only because Yugyeom wants to see Jaebum and Jinyoung kissing. Which, in Bambam's opinion, is a bad dare to make them do, since they make out all the time anyway.

After a few stupid dares and some truths about Jinyoung and Jaebum's sex life they didn't want to hear, it's Jackson's turn. "Truth." He replies, because he's way too comfortable half-lying on Jinyoung on the sofa to get up to do a dare.

"Is there anyone in this room you'd fuck, just based on first impression?" It's Yugyeom who asks this and all of their curious eyes are on him. Jackson swallows nervously. He glances quickly at Bambam. Even with his face flushed and eyes unable to focus on anything, he still looks amazing. His lips are puckered in somewhat a pout as he eyes Jackson, awaiting for him to tell his answer.

"Yes," he answers, truthfully but decides to leave out who it is he'd do. The look he shoots at Bambam to see his reaction does give it instantly away and soon everyone's roaring in laughter and Bambam's hiding his slightly red face behind his hands.

And so it happens to be Bambam's turn next and Yugyeom instantly tries to convince him to do a dare, to which Bambam agrees with an annoyed smirk.

"Kiss Jackson," Jaebum pipes in before anyone can say anything, but they all knew it was coming.  
Jinyoung does give his drunk boyfriend a long, questioning look but forgets about it when Bambam makes a move to get up.

They all clap and scream when Bambam stands up from the floor and makes his way to Jackson sitting on the couch, trying his hardest not to stumble on his own feet and fall. Jackson instantly straigthtens up to sit properly, way too eager to kiss Bambam, who finally leans down to press those plump lips against Jackson's own.  
And much to Jackson's delight, Bambam cups Jackson's face with one of his hands, the other pressing hard down onto his thick thigh.

He doesn't know how much time passes, he's enjoying kissing the other man so much he'd rather never stop. But when Bambam tries to sneak a tongue between Jackson's lips, Jinyoung calls it off and gently shoves Bambam to stop kissing Jackson.

"Not in front of Youngjae's pure eyes, perverts," Jinyoung huffs, as if he didn't just do a dare where he was asked to perform a lap dance for Jaebum. Not that Youngjae would even care, he's already passed out on the couch, snoring loudly.

Bambam pulls away and returns to his seat next to screeching Yugyeom. His lips are deliciously swollen as he looks back at Jackson, giving him a small smile.

 

  
To absolutely no one's surprise, Jackson wakes up next to Bambam in his own bed. His head is pounding and his mouth tastes like vomit, but Bambam's sleeping next to him, looking so sinfully beautiful that he even forgets his deadly hangover for a second.

But no matter how amazing the man sleeping next to him looks, he still has to get up to go to the bathroom.

Walking turns out to be hard when he's feeling as dizzy as he is. With the support from the walls he finally makes his way to the bathroom, only to find it occupied.  
He gently bangs on the door and it's opened to reveal a freshly showered Jinyoung.

He's brushing his teeth, looking fresh and smelling good and Jackson hates him for a second.

"You look like hell," Jinyoung mumbles with the toothbrush still in his mouth. "You smell even worse."

"Yeah, yeah, ha-ha," Jackson waits for Jinyoung to be done with brushing his teeth before he finally gets the bathroom all to himself.

Jackson decided to take a fast shower as well, just to wash off the smell of last night off of him.  
When he comes out of the bathroom, he notices that Jaebum has woken up as well. Well, woken up enough to move from his bedroom to the sofa in the living room. Jinyoung's apparently in the kitchen, judging from the sound of pots and pans clinking.

Back in his room, Jackson's greeted with a pleasant sight of Bambam stretching his long body on the bed, his cute little butt peeking out from under the blanket and Jackson can't help but slap it. Bambam yelps and looks over his shoulder, his eyes squinted almost close.

"Morning," he mutters, his voice deep and raspy.

"Morning, sleepyhead," Jackson pets Bambam's hair. "Feeling okay?"

"I'm definitely not feeling okay," Bambam whines. "Is it okay if I never leave your bed?"

Jackson laughs quietly. He sits down on the edge of the bed. "Only if I get to screw you occasionally."

"Sounds fair," Bambam says as he turns his back to Jackson to get back to sleep. Jackson smiles to himself.

Jaebum and Jinyoung's friends weren't half as bad.

 

 

When Bambam finally stumbles back to his own apartment, he's met with Yugyeom on the couch, with a drama running on a laptop in front of him.

"Just so you know, yes, I'm judging you," Yugyeom says with a mouthful of chips, with crumbs flying everywhere as he speaks.

Bambam wails as he sits next to Yugyeom on their couch that can barely with the both of them.  
Yugyeom pauses his drama and looks him dead in the eye. Bambam has dark circles under his eyes and there's a definite hickey on his neck. He's also dressed in the same clothes from the night before, only they don't look nearly as styled as they did last night.

"Your breath smells like dick," Yugyeom says, teasing Bambam who frowns.

"How would you even know?" Bambam mutters back. How would Yugyeom know, as far as Bambam knows, Yugyeom is straight and the only time he's even kissed a man was when Bambam was forced to make out with him in truth or dare in their first frat party.

"I thought the last time this happened you told me you'd have no one night stands anymore," Yugyeom shrugs. Bambam cries out and hides his face behind his hands.

"I'm weak, Yugyeom, I'm so weak," he's fake sobbing but Yugyeom knows he's actually pretty upset. Well, not upset, just regretting the fact that he seems to be unable to say no to any hot guy that even looks at him. "I'm changing into an all girls school."

"You'd fit right in," Yugyeom teases.

Bambam sighs and leans closer against Yugyeom. Yugyeom lets him, even if he smells terrible. "Why do I keep doing this?"

"Because you're a dick-hungry whore?" Yugyeom snorts and Bambam knows he's just playing. Or at least he hopes he knows, but when Bambam stays silent, Yugyeom wraps a long arm around him and pulls him closer. "Listen, Bam. Jackson seemed like a nice guy and we're forced to hang out with him anyway, why don't you try and make this into a ... thing?"

"A thing?" Bambam lifts his eyes to look up at Yugyeom.

"Like, maybe you'd stop sleeping around if you only had one guy to bang? A lot of people do it," Yugyeom shrugs, trying in his usual manner to find some sort of solution to his best friend's 'problem'. If you can count getting sex in a regular basis from really hot people as a problem. But maybe the problem at hand was more in Bambam's fear of commitment that caused him to drift into one night stands instead of healthy relationships.

"Like who? Do you?" It's Bambam turn to tease.

"This was about you, not me," Yugyeom whines. "I'm just saying, having a casual friends-with-benefits- relationship could actually be good for you. It's not like you have to be all Jaebum and Jinyoung right away."

Bambam says nothing but Yugyeom can tell he's definitely considering what he just said.

 

  
"So who's the one who couldn't make it?"

The three of them are lying in various places around the living room, all but Jinyoung in serious states of a hangover. Jaebum's slept all day and he still looks like he's about to fall asleep again. Jinyoung's been on their ass for the entire day, forcing them to clean their own apartment even if they're both dying.

"Mark," Jaebum mumbles into the pillow.

"Mark?" Jackson raises an eyebrow.  
"I actually used to date someone named Mark. Before we got into college." He hums but thinks it might be just a coincidence.

"I know. And it's him," Jinyoung says offhandedly.

"What?" Jackson's not sure what he had heard. Was it really?

"Yeah, he's Mark Tuan, your ex-boyfriend. He's majoring in English," Jinyoung continues like it's the most obvious thing on the planet. Jaebum raises his head from the pillow to look curiously at Jinyoung and Jackson. Jackson's mouth is open and he's sputtering something incomprehensible.

Mark was the longest relationship Jackson's ever had. It lasted for eight, amazing months but ended quite tragically when the two didn't get into the same university, forcing Jackson to move into Busan and Mark to stay in Seoul. They were young, sneaking out to drink at rooftops and make out in the school's bathroom during classes. Jackson would be lying if he told he hadn't been madly in love with Mark and was fairly certain that Mark had felt the same way. It was really a shame distance came between them.

"Why didn't you tell me?!" Jackson pretty much screeches and Jaebum puts his head back onto the pillow because of the loud noise.

Jinyoung gives him a pointed look. "I thought you knew. I thought you broke up as friends. Don't you keep up with your friends?"

"Um," Jackson shuts his mouth. He did tell Jinyoung they broke up in good terms but that wasn't the absolute truth. In reality, they only broke up because Jackson felt like he wasn't any good with long-distance relationships and no matter how much Mark tried to convince him that it'd work out, Jackson still disagreed. He pretty much broke Mark's heart for selfish purposes and hadn't talk to him since the summer before college.

"Is he the ex-boyfriend Mark always cries about while drunk?" Jaebum suddenly mutters. Jackson's eyes widen. That didn't sound good.

"Ah, now that you mention...," Jinyoung hums to himself and looks at Jackson. "Might be. How come I never figured that?" He places a finger to tap onto his own chin.

Jackson buries his face into his hands.

 

  
Jackson comes home from the gym Jaebum recommended him to visit. It's in the building next to them and offers a nice student discount and Jackson appreciates Jaebum hinted it to him before he even had to think about looking for a new gym.

He's drenched in his own sweat and his initial plan was to head straight to the shower but his plans change when he sees a familiar face on their couch.

It's Bambam, who gives him a little smile.

"Hey," Jackson's happy to see him. He had actually been wondering about their drunken night together and the following day when Bambam had left while Jackson was napping. Bambam hadn't given him his number and Jackson hadn't heard anything from him, leading him to suspect it was solely a one time, drunk mistake. He also wanted something to distract himself from thinking about the fact that he'd possibly be meeting his ex-boyfriend sooner and later and he'd most likely had to open up the conversation about how everything ended.

"He told me he's here to study, but if anyone actually believes that I'll eat Jaebum's bucket hat," Jinyoung's very sarcastic voice says. He's sitting on the couch, leaning against the armrest, reading a book. Bambam rolls his eyes.

"So, you're here to see me?" Jackson grins sleazily as he walks to them. He leans against the backrest of the couch. Bambam looks back at him with a glint in his eyes and Jackson feels a strange familiarity run through his body. There's something special about the way Bambam looks at him and the moment is only ruined by Jinyoung's dry coughing. Jackson glares at his friend who only gives him a mean look.

"Can we go to your room? He's making me uncomfortable," Bambam asks. Jackson offers his hand for Bambam to lead him out from under the unnerving stare of Jinyoung.

Inside, Bambam sits on the unmade bed and Jackson throws his gym bag to the corner of his room, ready to be unpacked later when he's bothered to do laundry. He sits by Bambam on the bed, who's leaning back, already making himself comfortable.

Bambam's surprisingly relaxed, Jackson had the feeling he'd be really shy sober. He's looking around Jackson's room before turning his face to stare at Jackson instead. Jackson smiles down at him. Bambam's really cute.

"I actually came here because I forgot my phone charger and Yugyeom's refusing to lend me his anymore," Bambam shrugs. Jackson feels a little touch of disappointment in his chest, he quite liked the idea that Bambam traveled all the way to their apartment just to see him. "Jinyoung didn't believe me so I had to make up an another excuse."

"So you settled on studying? I've only lived here for less than a week and even I know this is the worst place to try and study," Jackson snorts.

"It's true though, if there's not someone drunk in the living room, you have to listen to Jinyoung and Jaebum either fuck or argue," Bambam cringes. Jackson can't help but agree, the walls of their apartment are thin, he can hear everything. Like last night, even if he still hopes hearing Jinyoung moan 'spank me, daddy' was just some kind of nightmare he imagined.

"But why didn't you leave after getting your charger?" Jackson wiggles his eyebrows, really wanting Bambam to just say he wanted to see him.

Bambam laughs. "I kind of wanted to check that everything's okay between us," he scratches his own cheek.

"We met two days ago, is there anything between us to not be okay, anyway?" Jackson snorts. "I mean, there could be..."

Jackson pretends to look coy while waiting the amused looking Bambam to reply.

"What?" the younger male just says. "At least take me out first."

Jackson grins. "Deal," he reaches his hand out to shake Bambam's who in turn shakes his head with a big smile. He doesn't let go of Bambam's hand and stares deep into the other's eyes before opening his mouth again.

"Can we make out now?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

'


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here's the second chapter~ as i said, i'll just post these as soon as i get them edited, but i'm not sure how many chapters it's going to be all and all, anything from five to ten i guess. anyways, enjoy! <3

"The lecture hall you need to be in is on the other side of the campus," Jaebum mutters as he leads Jackson through the huge doors of the main building of the university. Jackson's a little embarrassed that he even had to ask Jaebum to walk him there, but the map he was given at the info desk was too hard to read and Jaebum already knew the university like the back of his hand. It had all been simple enough when his lectures had been in the main building, but this new English course starting today was in a building Jackson hadn't even seen before. 

"Thanks for doing this," Jackson pats Jaebum's shoulder as they walk through the busy hallway. 

"It's nothing," Jaebum smiles back at him. Jaebum's exterior had definitely been cold until Jackson had managed to break under it, revealing that Jaebum was actually extremely kind. He was already forming a brother-like relationship with Jackson, helping him get settled back into Seoul. He could definitely see what Jinyoung saw in him and he could admit he was a little jealous of the relationship the two shared, making him feel a little lonely watching the two be insanely in love under all that bickering. There hadn't been much going on for him in the romance department during his time in university, save from the occasional hook-up here and there. There was Bambam now, but it was too early to even call it a relationship, even if Jackson kind of wanted to. 

They keep walking down towards a pair of doors, until a familiar - very loud - voice interrupts them.

"Jaebum!"

Jaebum's head whips instantly to see where the noise is coming from and suddenly he disappears from beside Jackson. Jackson looks around, just to find him standing with Youngjae a few feet from him and as Jackson makes his way towards them as well, he notices there's a third person. The person is tall and thin, in tight jeans and a big hoodie.

And even if there's a cap covering his hair and some of his face, Jackson can tell that it's Mark.

He feels like the people around him freeze as Mark looks up at him and his brown eyes are wide with surprise and confusion. It's been so many months since he has seen those eyes look at him, yet it feels so familiar, to the point Jackson almost gets shivers. Jackson's torn, he feels good seeing Mark there, in flesh, being alive and okay, but Mark's not smiling. Not even a hint of a smile on his face. 

"Ah, Mark, this is Jackson, Jaebum's new roommate. We met him last weekend when you couldn't make it," Youngjae suddenly peeps in, gesturing towards Jackson with his hand. He's trying to break the awkward silence that happened upon Jackson and Mark seeing each other, completely oblivious to all the underlying tension. "And Jackson, this is Mark, my roommate."

"I think they already know each other," Jaebum tells Youngjae and when Youngjae raises his eyebrows as if to ask how, Jaebum - to Jackson and Mark's horror - continues. "They used to date."

Mark glares at Jaebum for a brief second before turning to look at Youngjae, ready to explain. Jackson just stares blankly, not even surprised that Jaebum just blurted that out.

"What?" Youngjae's face is full of confusion, his voice even a little hurt. "What? When? How come you never mentioned it?"

"Forever ago, and it was nothing," Mark says tightly. He grabs Youngjae's arm and tugs on it, implying Youngjae that he wants to get out of the situation as fast as possible. "We need to go."

Youngjae waves a fast goodbye to them as he's pulled into the  
crowd with Mark. Jackson's left staring at the space Mark had just occupied, dumbfounded. Whatever he had planned on saying when he'd meet Mark was left on his tongue, leaving him with a very bitter taste in his mouth. 

 

 

"Mark?"

He hears Youngjae's voice clearly, but still refuses to move. He's completely comfortable where he is. There's no reason to move.

"Mark? You've been there for two hours now."

He realizes this. It's a completely conscious decision to lock himself in their bathroom for two hours. He knows exactly what he's doing.

"And I know you took the entire tub of chocolate ice cream from the freezer I was saving for myself."

That he hoped Youngjae wouldn't notice.

"Leave me alone."

There's a very loud sigh from the other side of the door and apparently Youngjae gives up on trying to get Mark out of the bathroom. Mark is pleased for a second, until he remembers again why he's spent the last two hours sulking in their empty bathtub, fully clothed with the ice cream he stole from Youngjae and the remains of a rum bottle he found in the fridge. 

"Is this about Jackson?" Youngjae didn't give up after all. It's Mark's turn to sigh.

It's obviously about Jackson but Mark's too proud to admit that yeah, it's been almost two years and he's definitely not over him. He's an adult, adults don't dwell on teenage relationships from years ago. 

"No." Mark replies quietly. Youngjae knows he's lying.

He actually thought he had been doing fine and that Jackson was just another stupid little fling from the past that he could laugh about with his friends now. But Jackson wasn't, Jackson was the first person he had ever actually fell in love with and the first person who had ever broken his heart. Mark doesn't remember nor does he want to remember the exact words Jackson told him, but it all came down to Jackson rather starting his university life as a single man and not in a long distance relationship. And even if Mark to some extent even understood where he was coming from, it translated to him as Jackson not caring enough for him to even give a chance to a long distance relationship. 

There had been other guys after him, of course, so it wasn't like the entire time he'd been in college, he'd spent crying after Jackson. On the beginning his first year, he met Jinyoung and actually went out with him for a good while, until Jinyoung realized his undying feelings for Jaebum, and Mark was left, again. The few relationships he's had since then never went anywhere and it's safe to say Mark's definitely become very cynical when it comes to love.

"I'm going to die alone," he murmurs loud enough for Youngjae to hear.

"...You're drinking there, aren't you?" Youngjae replies. Mark might have an infamous habit of getting really emotional when drunk. Not that he would ever admit it.

"Am I going to die alone?" 

"You're not, except if you won't open the door and let me pee, right now."

 

 

They're not expecting any visitors the following night when their doorbell rings. Much to their surprise and confusion, the person behind Mark and Youngjae's door is Yugyeom. He offers Mark opening the door a grin and snacks. Mark lets him in, even if still a little confused on why he's even there. They're obviously good friends, but if Yugyeom's not with Bambam, he's either at the dance studio with Jaebum or annoying Jinyoung somewhere.

"It's starting to get lonely at our apartment," Yugyeom pouts, trying to act cute when they're all sitting in the small living room. Even if not as big as Jaebum and Jackson's apartment is, it's way more spacey than the one Yugyeom and Bambam room in. Their couch is still a bit too little for the freakishly tall Yugyeom. "Bambam's never home anymore. I almost started rewatching Descedants of the Sun for the third time over before I decided I need to see an actual person."

Youngjae nods. "It's actually good that you're here, Mark's been a little down, too."

"Oh, why?" Yugyeom flops himself across Mark's lap. It's a little awkward how a giant man is trying to act like a small child to get a smile out of Mark, but he succeeds. Mark swats his head, but he's smiling.

"Where's Bambam if he's not at home?" Mark avoids the question because he's not really up for talking about it and it's not like Yugyeom or Youngjae would even understand. Yugyeom's really popular and would have a girl for every finger if he wanted to  
, he's always had it way more easy than the panicked gays of their friend group. And Youngjae's way too invested in video games, his school work and Coco to even worry about dating.

"He has a new thing, they keep going on double dates with Jaebum and Jinyoung and I'm the awkward fifth wheel. Or would be, if I would even be invited," Yugyeom rolls his eyes. Mark pats his head awkwardly, but Youngjae looks like he's thinking really hard, his lip jutting out adorably. 

"...With Jaebum and Jinyoung?" Youngjae raises an eyebrow. "Don't tell me- Jackson? Jackson and Bambam?"

"Well, he hasn't confirmed it but the amount of Snapchats he's sent me with Jackson, I'm pretty sure they're on," Yugyeom lifts Coco onto his lap from the floor while talking, she was jumping against the couch begging for attention. 

"Good for them," Mark huffs, after a moment of being completely silent. It's never nice to hear that your ex-boyfriend's dating one of your friends. Not that Bambam could've known that he and Jackson used to be together, but Jackson was probably completely aware that Bambam and Mark are friends. He suddenly gets up from where he was sitting and walks to his own room, closing the door with much unnecessary force. 

Yugyeom gives a long, questioning look at Youngjae. "Mark and Jackson used to date," Youngjae whispers back to Yugyeom, not wanting Mark to hear they're talking about him. "Like, way back before. And he hasn't told me this, but I'm preeeetty sure he's not over Jackson. He's been really weird since we saw Jackson at the campus."

"Wow," Yugyeom mouths. "That must suck, then."

"Yeah, and you know him. He won't talk about this until he's wasted off his head crying in a club bathroom," Youngjae sighs. 

Yugyeom nods with a little snort. "But seriously, Bambam and Jackson? They met like, what, two hours ago?"

 

Mark did his best to avoid meeting Jackson again, but it proved out to be surprisingly hard realizing that they're literally on the same English course.

And even that would've been managable, if Jackson just would've stayed on the other side of the room, minding his own business and not being so damn confrontial.

It's instant panic when Jackson spots him across the lecture hall and makes his way to sit next to Mark. He can't just tell him to leave, since the lecture is starting and the hall is quieting down, so he settles on giving Jackson a nod, lips tight and not a trace of smile on them. Jackson returns the nod, at least attempting a small smile. Jackson tries to say something but Mark pretends to be listening to the lecturer so focused that he can't hear him. He obviously does hear the small 'hey' but for the sake of his well-being, he's not about to start this conversation here, of all places.

Ignoring him is easy until the lecturer asks them to take a partner sitting next to them and go through the topics together, in English. And since there's no one sitting next to Mark but Jackson, he has no other choice than to talk to him. 

Mark turns around slowly, still avoiding looking Jackson in the eyes, hoping Jackson would have the common courtesy to just focus on the task at hand and not try anything else.

"So, how have you been doing?" Jackson asks, in Korean, but so quiet no one else hears him. Mark holds back a sigh.

"Studying. Succeeding in life," Mark huffs. He looks up discreetly and studies Jackson's appearance. He's bleached his hair since he last saw him, but not much has changed. Expect that he's definitely been hitting the gym more, considering how much thicker he's become.

"That's nice," Jackson hums. Mark hates this, but not wanting to put on a show, continues the casual conversation.

"What about you?" Mark asks. 'Still breaking hearts?', he wants to add, but keeps quiet.

"Just switched here this week from Busan."

It all feels surreal, being forced to break up because Jackson didn't believe they'd work out in a long distance relationship, then moving back to Seoul before even two years had passed. Moving back to Seoul and before even trying to reconcile with Mark, starting a relationship with one of Mark's friends.

"I'm living with Jaebum," Jackson continues when Mark says nothing. He's clearly feeling uncomfortable. This is probably not going at all how Jackson planned it to go. "I met your friends last weekend."

"So I heard," Mark mutters. "And ended up dating one of them?"

Jackson's face falls. Mark should've left that unsaid, but he feels bitter.

"We're just hanging out," Jackson protests.

"Well, good luck with that," Mark huffs and turns back towards the front of the hall, where the lecturer has started talking again. He doesn't say a word to Jackson after that, no matter how many times Jackson tries to whisper something to him.

 

 

"If it helps you any, I don't think they're going to be dating for a very long time," Yugyeom tries to comfort the clearly irritated Mark, who had been that way ever since he came back to his and Youngjae's apartment where Yugyeom was hanging out, again. Mark's sitting in the middle, with Yugyeom and Youngjae on both of his sides. Yugyeom's hand is resting on his shoulder and Youngjae is trying to calm him down with a hand on his thigh.

"I don't care," Mark replies. Yugyeom and Youngjae share a look. He clearly cares. He's gnawing on his lip, avoiding looking at anyone and when he came home, he slammed the door so hard Youngjae was sure it would fall off. 

"You can stop pretending that you don't," Youngjae says, his tone a little desperate. He'd been listening to Mark 'not caring' for pretty much a week now. Mark actually says nothing, but his body language tells Youngjae everything. They're not the best of friends, but they're grown fairly close due to being roommates. He's tense and irritated and keeps snapping at Youngjae for the smallest things. And to make it worse, it seemed like nothing Youngjae did made him feel any better, which in turn made Youngjae feel bad.

"I seriously don't care," Mark rolls his eyes. Still not convincing them.

Yugyeom crosses his arms behind his head and leans against the back of the couch. "Still, they won't last long. Bambam's more scared of feelings than Jaebum is of holding Jinyoung's hand in public."

Youngjae laughs at loud at Yugyeom's joke, who grins back at him. Even Mark cracks a small smile, that he hides behind the pillow he's holding to his chest. Youngjae gives Yugyeom a very thankful smile for lightening up the mood, even if Mark's back to sulking in no time. 

"Do you want to do something?" Yugyeom asks after a second. A silence had fallen into the room and he was desperate to break it. Mark shrugs, but Youngjae's eyes light up. Mark has been in a bad mood and therefore hasn't wanted to do much with Youngjae and since Mark still is pretty much Youngjae's only social contact outside of school, it is definitely getting boring. 

Youngjae gets up and walks to the corner of the room, where lies a box of things he starts rummaging through. Then, upon finding what he was looking for, he walks towards the doorway to dig out something from his backpack.

He walks back to the couch and plops himself between the two, almost uncomfortably close to Yugyeom, holding a small Nintendo console. "I just got this new game and Mark's still refusing to try it out with me," Youngjae sticks his tongue out to Mark. The older just shakes his head.

Yugyeom fakes a gasp. "Mark, how dare you?" he frowns at Mark as he takes the console from Youngjae's hands. Youngjae settles comfortably against Yugyeom's side, who seemingly doesn't mind Youngjae invading his personal space. He even throws a hand over Youngjae's shoulders, so Youngjae's tucked as close to him as it is humanly possible. 

They don't even notice Mark leaving in the midst of laughter and cuddling. They're fighting over who's turn it is to play when Mark glances back to see them from the door of his room.


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all the kudos and comments so far <3 i'm slow publishing these but i'll try my best lol

Jaebum's head is lying on Jinyoung's lap and the younger's hands are playing with his hair when their doorbell rings that evening. Neither of them really want to get up, not that there's a need to when Jackson bursts out of his room to open the door before they can make any type of move. In walks Bambam, who greets them a fast hey before disappearing with Jackson into Jackson's room in a midst of laughter.

"I guess they're really dating?" Jaebum murmurs when they've gone out of their sight. He knows they're at least friends now, since Bambam's been at their multiple times already in the past few days and Jackson's visited Bambam's apartment at least once. They've also hung out just the four of them, but Jaebum didn't really consider it as anything else but friends spending time together, unlike Jinyoung, who's fairly certain they're double dates. Either way, Jaebum's never been the one to care for anyone else's relationships besides his own.

"If they seriously are, it's not going to last," Jinyoung just shrugs, moving his hand to stroke Jaebum's soft cheek and the hint of a stubble. Jaebum leans into the touch, closing his eyes for a second. 

"How do you know?" Jaebum questions, while twisting his body on Jinyoung's lap so he's lying on his stomach now, using Jinyoung's thigh as a pillow.

"They're both bad at these things. Bambam gets scared when a hook-up develops any type of feelings, and Jackson hasn't had a single relationship that lasts more than a week ever since Mark." Jinyoung explains. He's clearly put thought into this. "They don't match at all. Jackson will eventually form a crush on Bambam, if he hasn't already. Bambam will panic and disappear. I've seen this happen."

"I've never been good with relationships either, but we still worked out," Jaebum reasons with that stupid smile that makes Jinyoung's knees feel weak. Jaebum doesn't really understand why Jinyoung's so against the two dating, but the most probable reason is that he wants to protect his friends from getting hurt. 

"Yeah, but I know what I'm doing. We're balanced. They're a trainwreck," Jinyoung smiles back and leans down to kiss the top of Jaebum's head on his lap. His hair smells like the peach shampoo Jinyoung's forgotten in the apartment's bathroom. 

"Stop being so pessimistic," Jaebum crawls up to his knees to press a kiss onto Jinyoung's lips who instantly melts into his touch. His only intention was to make Jinyoung stop thinking too much about Jackson and Bambam and it seemed to work out pretty well. Jaebum continues to move until he's comfortably settled between Jinyoung's long legs. Jinyoung spreads his thighs slightly to bring Jaebum as close as it's possible to get. 

"Stop being so sexy," Jinyoung doesn't really care about whatever they were just talking about anymore when Jaebum's hand is sneaking under his shirt and rough fingers run over his side. His thumb graces over Jinyoung's nipple and he lets out a shaky breath. Jinyoung leans upwards to catch Jaebum's lips in a heated kiss, pushing his fingers into Jaebum's hair, tugging lightly. Jaebum answers with rocking his hips against Jinyoung, who's jeans seem to be growing uncomfortably tight. 

Jinyoung's other hand starts traveling down Jaebum's body, coming to a halt when his fingers find the familiar trail of hair just before the waistband of Jaebum's sweatpants. His other hand leaves Jaebum's hair to open up the string tied to hold up Jaebum's pants. Jinyoung pushes his hand inside the grey sweats to cup the semi Jaebum's sporting. Jaebum moans softly against Jinyoung's mouth and Jinyoung wants to hear more, so he puts his hand inside Jaebum's boxers to wrap his hand around his cock.

"Fu-"

"MY EYES!"

It's Bambam's loud screech and Jaebum instantly jumps up back to a sitting position, like lightning had hit him. Bambam's out from Jackson's room with the other in tow, snickering at the two. Jinyoung chugs a pillow towards their general direction, very annoyed for the interruption. Jaebum's using one of the pillows to hide himself in the couch. 

"Aw, sorry we interrupted. You can carry on if you don't mind us watching," Jackson hides behind the pillow as he walks closer to the couple, before Jinyoung can hurt him with something else. "We were actually just going out to eat, you want to join?"

Jaebum gives Jinyoung a quick look and before Jinyoung even opens his mouth, Jaebum nods.

"I'm actually really hungry," Jaebum ponders. Jinyoung frowns.

"You're always hungry," he says, irritated, but still gets up to adjust his clothes.

 

 

On the first night Jackson met Bambam, he wasn't really sure what he should think about him, besides that he was really hot and Jackson was into his vibe. He knew that Bambam looked cool, dressed cool, but he definitely didn't act cool - at least around his friends.

Upon getting to know him, Jackson has found out Bambam was actually pretty similar to him. He laughed at the stupidest shit - shit that no one else laughed at, not even Youngjae. Usually they were his own jokes that no one else found funny. He enjoyed social media to an unhealthy degree, Snapchatting every moment he could, being more invested in his streaks than he was with his unfinished essays. He messaged Jackson more memes than he did actual texts.

He was very loud and very very weird, but it was pretty much a given looking at his friend group. He talked a lot about trivial little things and filled in the words he didn't know in Korean with English.

And Jackson couldn't get enough of him.

"Why are you staring?" Bambam snorts from behind his phone. He's naked, only Jackson's blanket covering the bottom half of his body. Jackson's lying down next to him, equally as nude. It's probably been half an hour since they had sex, half an hour that Jackson's spent admiring Bambam. The sheer layer of sweat glistening on his forehead, his bangs sticking onto it. The love bites peppered on his skin. 

"You," Jackson coos. Bambam rolls his eyes. Unlike Jackson, he's spent the last half an hour on his phone, occasionally showing something funny he finds to Jackson. 

"Creep," he murmurs but smiles.

Jackson leans in closer to press his face as close to Bambam's face as he can. Bambam gets startled and pulls away slightly, giving Jackson a strange look.

"You're sweaty."

Jackson pulls back and looks at Bambam, puzzled. "You're sweaty too. We're literally covered in sex juices and you're iffy about a little sweat."

Bambam just laughs it off, Jackson doesn't seem to notice the nervousness in his laugh, he just melts instantly seeing Bambam smile. He leans down to kiss him softly. Bambam kisses him back but when he pulls away, he's got a very weird look on his face.

"I just realized I was about to see Yugyeom in half an hour," he explains while getting up. "I have to go."

"Can I at least walk you out?" Jackson smiles and Bambam nods with a crooked smile of his own. They both get up to get dressed, Bambam trying to find his clothes thrown around Jackson's room.

 

 

Bambam gave a brief kiss and pat on Jackson's butt before heading out of the door, leaving behind a dumbly smiling Jackson.

Jackson stands in the doorway until he can hear a disapproving noise from behind him and glances back to see Jinyoung shaking his head on the couch, where he seems to spend most of his time, if he's not in Jaebum's bedroom. Jackson can hear a shower running, so he figures that's where Jaebum is.

He makes his way to Jinyoung and sits down next to him. Jinyoung's cuddled up in a big sweatshirt which Jackson thinks might be Jaebum's, hence his obsession with over sized clothing. 

"Stop looking like that," Jinyoung just says to Jackson who's still staring at the door Bambam just walked out from.

"Like what?"

"Like you're in love," Jinyoung frowns. Jackson's face flushes red instantly.

"What are you talking about?" Jackson mutters, trying his best to avoid looking Jinyoung straight in the eyes. 

"You always end up falling in love with the people you sleep with."

Jackson opens his mouth to say something, but realizes Jinyoung has a point. Falling in love is definitely a strong term to use, but he has a problem of getting too involved too early. He does wish he could be more cool about and not always jump in face first, but what can he do when he's so full of love.

"And he's a great guy, but I wouldn't get involved with him more than as friends if I were you." Jinyoung's scrolling through his phone while talking, seeming a little disinterested in the whole conversation, even if he started it.

"Why?" Jinyoung clearly knows more about Bambam than Jackson does, but if there was a problem Jackson was sure he could work around it if it meant he could get to spend more time with Bambam.

"I just wouldn't."

It's clear Jinyoung's not going to tell him more, so Jackson decides to ignore whatever he was trying to imply. Even if it makes him a little curious, since Jinyoung's always been very protective of his friends and wouldn't say things like that if he didn't really know what he was talking about. 

There's the sound of a door opening and Jaebum steps out from the shower and Jinyuong instantly lifts his face from the phone, ogling his half-naked boyfriend with hungry eyes. Jaebum's drying his hair into the towel and has pulled on fresh, black boxers. Jackson hasn't seen Jaebum so naked before, so he can't help but peek a little look as well. Jaebum's definitely hot as hell and Jackson can understand why Jinyoung's suddenly so fidgety, sitting up straight and smiling up at Jaebum.

Jaebum walks past them and Jackson watches as Jaebum touches Jinyoung's hand on the backrest of the couch gently, which in turn makes Jinyoung lick his lips before he gets up and walks behind Jaebum into his room.

"Let's talk more later," Jinyoung says before he closes the door behind them.

Jackson cringes and turns on the television just to drown out the noises that are bound to start in a few minutes. He can't lie, Jinyoung's words are still running through his head. He doesn't believe there could be anything that terrible about Bambam, he seemed like a sweet, funny and really good looking guy that Jackson wanted to get to know better.

Maybe going out to eat together, seeing a movie - anything but having wild sex in Jackson's room - would help Jackson get to find out more about Bambam, so he texts him to ask if he'd be free sometime this week to meet up. 

 

 

"I think I fucked up," Bambam's lying on Yugyeom's tiny bed while Yugyeom's working on his laptop on the ground. It's pretty late at night, they both have assingments to finish, but Bambam's closed his laptop a long time ago, seemingly unable to focus. 

"I can't even bring myself to be surprised anymore," Yugyeom says casually, not even lifting his head up from the screen. He actually really needs to finish what he's writing. "What did you do now?"

Bambam mocks Yugyeom's tone with a stupid face. Then, he sighs. "You know I kind of have this... thing."

"With Jackson? Yeah, everyone knows," Yugyeom keeps on tapping the keys, still not interested enough to actually focus on what his best friend is saying. 

"Yeah. Originally, the thing was going to be us having sex so I wouldn't accidentally sleep with half of the male population of Seoul, like you suggested." Yugyeom shakes his head. Bambam continues. "And it started out like that, having sex... great s-"

"No details," Yugyeom cringes.

"Sorry," Bambam mumbles. "But yeah, it started out nice and worked out fine for a while, until the last time I went to his place. He had texted me if I wanted to watch Netflix with him and I legit thought it was a code for 'come over and let's have sex', but it turned out he actually just wanted to watch Netflix and cuddle." Bambam puts weight on the last word, like cuddling would be the worst possible thing he could be forced to do.

Yugyeom finally raises his face up from his laptop. "Um?"

"We ended up having sex, anyway, I felt way too uncomfortable just doing... that."

"Doing what? Cuddling?" Yugyeom laughs in disbelief, even if he's fairly certain he knows what this is. It's Bambam's chronic fear for feelings.

"Couple things! Yugyeom! If I hadn't forced myself on him, he would've been just fine with watching Netflix like some kind of couple. He thinks we're dating!"

Bambam's clearly distressed, kicking his legs on Yugyeom's bed. Yugyeom can't do nothing but stare. Bambam's commitment issues had always been a bit of a joke between their friend group, but no one really had to suffer through Bambam's relatioship drama like Yugyeom did. 

"Aren't you kind of dating, though?" Yugyeom asks.

"No!" Bambam almost yells. "I mean, there's nothing wrong with him, but I don't want a boyfriend, I want a friend that lets me have sex with them."

"Then you have to stop fucking him, since he clearly thinks you're something more than just friends. And maybe start talking to the people you hook up with about what you actually want," Yugyeom scolds his friend. "You can't start a friends-with-benefits relationship with someone and not tell them that it's only that."

"But how do I tell him that now?" Bambam lets out an overdramatic sigh. "My life is so hard."

"Yeah, I can't believe the struggles you have to go through," Yugyeom replies with heavy sarcasm in his voice. "Maybe the best thing to do is stop this all together, before one of you gets hurt."

Bambam lets out a strange noise and buries his face in Yugyeom's pillow.

 

 

Bambam's heart is pounding when he looks back at Jackson, who's looking at him with curious eyes. After his lectures that day, Bambam rushed over to Jackson's apartment, only to be met with a very confused Jaebum who told him that Jackson was still at the campus and wouldn't be back for a while. For two tormenting hours, he sat in their living room, nervously fiddling with his phone before Jackson finally arrived.

"What did you want to talk about?" Jackson grabs Bambam's hand. He smooths his thumb over the back of his palm and Bambam feels awful for what he's about to say. They're sitting on Jackson's bed, Bambam's eyes travelling everywhere but Jackson's face. He knows Jackson has no idea what he's about to say and that makes him feel even worse. From the corner of his eye, he can see that Jackson's smiling at him.

"I don't think I'm ready for this right now," Bambam pretty much whispers. "For a relationship."

Jackson's face falls immediately and his thumb stops moving on Bambam's hand. He hates having to do this, he hates having to confront Jackson, but they're going to be spending way too much time together through their friends for him just to ghost him. Which is what he usually does when things get too serious between him and his things. It's definitely the worst way ever to deal with things, Bambam's aware of it. 

"Oh," is all Jackson says, clearly swallowing back everything else he has to say. "That's a shame."

"Mhm," Bambam nods, sucking in a sharp breath. It really is, and for a second Bambam feels like he could just take his words back and tell Jackson that he wasn't serious, that they could start dating. Jackson seems like he'd be the perfect boyfriend, even for the brief time they had been seeing each other Jackson had always put Bambam's needs before his, he was always complimenting Bambam on even the smallest things and he always made Bambam feel important and wanted. But he also knows he's terrible with commitment, it makes him feel irrationally anxious and it's definitely a problem he should be looking into instead of burying it under one night stands.

"Did I do something wrong?" Jackson's voice is very quiet and that's something Bambam is definitely not used to.

"It's... it's definitely not you," Bambam says and he's aware how cliched that sounds, the same old 'it's not you, it's me'-trope that he's heard himself repeat countless times. "I'm just... I'm not ready for this right now."

Jackson says nothing and Bambam still can't bear to look at him. He fiddles with his thumbs on his lap. This never gets easy. 

"I should probably go now," Bambam gets up and Jackson's still quiet. He gives a quick glance to the other sitting on the bed, but Jackson's just staring at the floor, face blank and expressionless.

 

 

Jinyoung and Jaebum arrive home from the campus that evening to find all the lights off, save from the dim lighting that the TV is illuminating in the living room. They share a confused look when they carefully make their way inside, after taking off their coats and shoes.

"Jackson?" Jinyoung asks when they see a figure lying under a blanket on the couch. "Jackson, are you sleeping?"

Jinyoung kneels in front of the sofa, and comes face to face with Jackson who's definitely not sleeping, just staring blankly at the drama on the television. He cocks his head to the side and pokes Jackson's forehead. Jackson doesn't give any reaction, just continues to stare, now at Jinyoung.

"Bambam broke up with me," Jackson says, voice rough. Jinyoung frowns immediately. Jaebum raises his eyebrows.

"Broke up? I thought you both said you weren't dating," Jaebum hums from where he's sitting on the armrest. Jinyoung glares at him for being insensitive. Jackson lets out a deep sigh.

"I guess not... at least we're not now," he seems so pathetically sad. Jinyoung bites his cheek, physically stopping himself from saying that he did tell Jackson it wouldn't work out. He also has the urge to point out that they were together for a very little time, not enough for Jackson to be acting like he was divorcing from a 20-year marriage, but he's aware that Jackson really liked Bambam.

Jinyoung does something surprising and rests his forehead against Jackson's, causing both Jaebum and Jackson to look at him like he'd grown a second head. After the initial shock, Jaebum also sets his hand on Jackson's thigh, patting it lightly for comfort. 

Jackson's bottom lip starts quivering, he's overwhelmed by the support he's getting from the usually awkward Jaebum and cold Jinyoung. "I fucking dare you to start crying," Jinyoung murmurs quietly, cupping Jackson's face in both of his hands. "This isn't that serious, you'll find a new one sooner or later."

"Yeah," Jaebum assures as well. "And Bambam's really annoying on the long run, so you really dodged a bullet there."

Jinyoung doesn't have the energy to tell Jaebum how terrible at comforting he is. He just places a hand on the one Jaebum has on Jackson, stroking it lightly. Jackson sits up and pulls them both into a bone-crushing hug, burying his face into Jaebum's shoulder.

"I love you, adoptive parents," Jackson sniffles and they all burst out laughing. 

 

 

Yugyeom finds Bambam on the floor of their living room, legs propped up on the couch, staring at the ceiling. He's not even looking at his phone, it's lying a couple feet from him on the floor. Judging from their conversation via text earlier, Yugyeom knows Bambam's been free from the university for around three hours now, and he's fairly certain he's been lying there for most of that time.

"I'm guessing you broke up with him?" Yugyeom takes a seat next to his legs. Bambam nods. "Great. Why are you sad, then?"

"I'm not sad," Bambam says quietly. He does sound sad, though.

"You don't look happy either," Yugyeom points out.

"You know, people usually have more than two emotions they're capable of feeling," Bambam mocks Yugyeom. "I just don't know how to feel. I don't feel relieved at all. I feel bad that I had to make him feel bad."

"That's called empathy," Yugyeom pokes the bottom of his foot. Bambam pulls his tickly foot away immediately, trying to kick Yugyeom with his other one. "Or are you implying something else?"

"No," Bambam starts. "I don't think so," he continues. "I honestly don't know," he finally sighs and Yugyeom snorts.

"I can't believe you. You do this every time. First, you fuck someone, then you panic when they start crushing on you and you ghost them until they stop messaging you, and then you get sad about it afterwards."

Bambam looks bothered. Yugyeom knows he's digging under Bambam's skin, but he's honestly tired of Bambam doing this - he'd much rather see him being happy with someone than just hurt himself with this kind of behaviour. And as far as Yugyeom knows, Bambam hasn't even tried being in a relationship. He doesn't know where Bambam's reckless behavior stems from, all he knows that it has been going on for too long now.

"I know you're scared and all," Yugyeom continues when Bambam just keeps blankly staring at him. "But it honestly wouldn't kill you to once, just once, give someone an actual chance at a relationship. You might actually enjoy it."

"It would probably kill me," Bambam mutters. "I'm scared of not being free."

"Not all relationships have to be completely exclusive and serious, maybe just give someone even the chance to try it out with you." Yugyeom's speaking wise words. Bambam turns to look at him with his eyes squinted. "Just consider it, that's all I'm saying."


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again-  
> i should probably mention at this point that english is not my first language so i'm sorry for any weird word choices or misspellings/grammar mistakes ;;

When Youngjae gets home after his lectures and a late night piano class, he's not expecting to find anyone else besides Mark and Coco in his apartment. Even if Yugyeom had been spending more and more time at their place, for the past few days he hadn't visited. It was a shame, really, because they still had a few levels on Youngjae's new game to finish and he didn't want to play it alone when they had been playing together up to this point.

To his surprise, Mark's not alone but accompanied by Yugyeom and Bambam. They're lounging around the living room area, Bambam using one of Coco's toys to play with her. Youngjae immediately notices the bottle of soju opened on the table, almost empty.

"Hey, Youngjae!" a slightly tipsy Yugyeom greets him and Youngjae waves back, eyeing them all warily. He strips out of his jacket and leaves his shoes by the door.

"What's the occasion?" Youngjae walks up to them and is immediately offered a glass by Mark. He hesitantly takes it and sits down. "And where are the rest?"

"Mark texted us that he wants to go out, but neither of these idiots can hang out at Jaebum's anymore because of Jackson so we had to come here," Yugyeom shrugs and both Bambam and Mark glare at him for exposing them. 

"Uh, Mark I understand, but Bambam?" he gives a pointed look at the pale-haired boy. "Aren't you two... kind of... dating?" Bambam rolls his eyes and takes a sip of his drink instead of replying.

"They broke up," Yugyeom fills in the blanks again. Youngjae sees the 'I told you so' in Yugyeom's expression and nods.

"So, are we celebrating or grieving?" Mark asks, sarcastic. Not at all bitter. Bambam shoots him a glare.

"Let's just not talk about him at all," Bambam offers, looking at the remains of soju in his glass.

"Agreed," Mark agrees with a nod. Yugyeom and Youngjae nod at each other awkwardly.

 

 

After a round of shots, they head out of the door to find the nearest club that's open on a week night. They find one, and it's not the nicest but it plays alright music and serves cheap alcohol for students so it fits just fine. Mark and Bambam head straight to the dancefloor, Bambam dragging Mark along because Cardi B is playing and he really wants to dance. Yugyeom follow them after buying himself a drink but Youngjae finds a table to sit on, settling on just watching his friends dance this time.

He's almost nodding off when he feels someone sit down next to him on the booth and shake him with a little too much force.

"Wake up, you're going to get kicked out if you sleep," Yugyeom laughs loudly over the music playing. He's brought two drinks to the table, presumably the other one is for Youngjae. 

"I'm sorry, I've had a long day," Youngjae yawns. "A long week, in fact. There's a presentation I've been practicing for three weeks now and it's due next week." 

"It's okay, we practically forced you to come with us," Yugyeom pats his shoulder but lets his hand linger for a little too long. "So, what's the presentation about?"

Youngjae's a little shocked Yugyeom's suddenly interested in his school work, but starts explaining nevertheless. It's nice to have someone other than Jaebum who at least looks like he cares about Youngjae's ramblings about composing - the subject of his presentation. Yugyeom's nodding and smiling and Youngjae knows he's a bit drunk but he doesn't really care. 

"Wait, why aren't you dancing?" Youngjae asks suddenly after their conversation shifted from Youngjae's presentation to other things. Yugyeom's been sitting with him for a good fifteen minutes or so.

"Uhm," Yugyeom looks embarrassed and shoots a look towards the mainly empty dancefloor, where Bambam and Mark are dancing with each other, their steps staggering and fingers interlaced as they laugh at each other. They're clearly drunk off their heads, but given all the drama they've gone through in a short amount of time, they have a good reason to be. "They barely noticed I was there."

Youngjae laughs quietly as he returns to look at the two on the dance floor, finding it quite endearing how the two - both good dancers - can hardly take a step without wobbling and how they're grinning at each other like two kids, simultaneously having a competition on who can come up with the most ridiculous dance move.

"It's nice to see Mark so happy," Youngjae mutters, mostly to himself but Yugyeom catches this. "I've felt bad for not being able to help him."

Yugyeom grabs Youngjae's shoulder. "Don't say that," his tone is strict but his eyes soft. "You did everything you could and I'm sure he appreciates it, he's just really bad at talking about how he feels."

Youngjae mutters something that Yugyeom doesn't catch, so he just pinches one of Youngjae's cheeks, earning a yelp from the older. Youngjae's raising a hand to give a slight slap to Yugyeom's arm but before landing on him, he suddenly points towards the dancefloor mid-movement.

"Oh my God," he whispers to Yugyeom who whips his head to see what Youngjae's pointing at and almost instantly screeches with laughter.

Bambam and Mark are kissing. Not only kissing, making out like two teenagers making out for the first time, sloppy, messy, hardly staying upright.

"I didn't see this one coming," Youngjae turns to look at Yugyeom, hiding his eyes behind one of his hands, the other gripping on Yugyeom's arm, tight. Yugyeom looks back at him, a huge grin on his face as he giggles.

 

 

 

Mark knows this is not the smartest way to go on about it, but it's not like there's much to do to stop it from happening, when Bambam's fingers are interlaced in his as they walk towards the apartment block Mark lives in. Youngjae and Yugyeom had disappeared hours before, but sent a picture that they're in McDonald's. After that Mark's battery had died down and he had no idea whether Youngjae was home or not. 

The two of them had stayed and danced until the club was closing down. And when the heat-of-the-moment make-out session they had on the dancefloor repeated itself on the line to get their coats, Mark's drunken mind decided that this is a good idea, that Bambam's lips feel good on his and that he's tired of spending his nights alone. And Bambam agrees, masking his lust behind an excuse of Mark just living closer and it being so late that the public transport hardly runs anymore. 

It's hard to type in the door code when he can barely see straight and when Bambam's laughing at him like it's the funniest thing in the world. The laughter makes Mark even more irritated and when it doesn't work on the third try, he finally lets Bambam do it. They stumble inside and he tries to shush Coco down to stop barking, it's almost 6 a.m and he doesn't want Youngjae or his neighbors to wake up. He can tell that Youngjae's made it home, his shoes are in the middle of the living room and the rest of his clothes thrown around the apartment. 

They make it to his room and sit on the bed. Bambam's lips are instantly on his and his hands find their way on the collars of Mark's shirt, pulling him closer. Mark kisses back, his hand on Bambam's thigh. But then it hits him, the realization of what they're actually doing. He pulls away and takes a deep breath.

"Maybe we shouldn't do this," Mark murmurs with a hand on Bambam's shoulder.

"Oh," Bambam backs up a little. "You're probably right."

"You can still sleep here, if you want," Mark offers and Bambam cocks his head to the side.

"Might as well, I'm already here," Bambam shrugs. He gets up to strip only to his boxers while Mark rummages through his closet for a t-shirt he could wear.

When they settle under Mark's blanket, Mark can't help but feel weird. It was weird enough to end up making out with Bambam in the first place, but he blames being drunk and the fact that they're both emotionally unstable people. Still, it's not even the first time they've kissed, but it's never been like this. Still, Bambam's body feels nice against his and when he's sure Bambam's asleep, he snakes a hand around him, pressing his face against Bambam's shoulder.

 

 

Unlike he usually does, this time Bambam doesn't leave right away when he wakes up. He takes a long shower, steals clean clothes from Mark's closet and convinces the two roommates to order some pizza. Mark's not opposed to Bambam being there, it's actually nice having him around. Their late morning is lazy, Bambam's clingy and tired, lying with his head on Mark's stomach on Mark's bed. Youngjae's lying on the floor, he's brought all of his pillows and his two blankets to build himself a fort where he's happily snoozing after finishing an entire pizza by himself.

Even if his head is hurting and he's exhausted, Mark feels happier than he's felt in a long while. After Jackson's return, he has been feeling off, not really wanting to see anyone. Last night, even if it all ended a little weird with him and Bambam, he realized that having his friends around him is a way better distraction than whatever he's tried before. He kind of wished Jaebum and Jinyoung would've been there too, but them being friends with Jackson would have made inviting them but not Jackson a little awkward.

Mark glances at Youngjae snoring with Coco lying on the pillow next to his head. He almost wants to get up, lie down next to him and tell him sorry for being such an ass, when all Youngjae wanted was to make Mark feel better. He definitely doesn't deserve someone so patient and kind, when anyone else of their friends would've gotten tired at Mark's angsting forever ago. 

Bambam yawns on his stomach and Mark turns to peek at him. He's scrolling through Instagram, double tapping at the speed of light. He fondly remembers all the morning afters they've all shared together, dragging themselves into the same location - be it Jaebum's bedroom or a McDonald's. They'd complain and laugh about the antics of the previous night. 

Mark turns his face towards the ceiling. He misses his friends, but now there was Jackson. Jackson and his past with Mark, Jackson and his awkward relationship with Bambam, Jackson who was pretty much Jinyoung's best friend. And he has to accept the fact that Jackson's there now.

"I think I need to talk to him," Mark voices his thoughts out loud. Bambam raises his head to look at Mark. Youngjae's still asleep.

"Who?" Bambam wonders.

"Jackson," Mark's not sure what made him open his mouth, but he's been keeping his feelings inside for so long again, it was already starting to feel like he'd explode. "I can't keep avoiding him forever."

Bambam looks a little uncomfortable, but nods. 

"He's here to stay and I don't want to make anyone pick sides," Mark says quietly. 

"I agree," Bambam murmurs. "I want all of us to be able to hang out together, and Jackson's now a part of the group."

Mark pets Bambam's messy hair softly. Bambam smiles weirdly.  
The thought of having to confront Jackson terrifies Mark to the core, but deep down he knows it has to be done. His hands are a little shaky on Bambam's head and the younger notices. Bambam grabs one of Mark's hands and brings it to his face, pressing his own cheek against Mark's lanky fingers. 

 

 

 

He'd been thinking about it all day and when Mark finally walks out of the main building of the univeristy, he decides to text Jinyoung. He types in the message, asking if Jackson was home right now. 

It was already pretty dark and the evening air was chilly. The hoodie he had on barely kept him warm, so he decided to start walking, his steps leading him to the familiar direction of Jaebum's apartment. Jinyoung hadn't even replied yet.

His phone beeps. 'finally.' the text from Jinyoung reads. Mark frowns. Jinyoung's been waiting for them to talk just so everyone could move on with their lives and he's been very vocal about it. The phone blinks again. 'he's here.'

Mark continues walking towards the maze of apartment buildings right off the campus. The building Jaebum and now Jackson live in is a few blocks away from the campus, but it's definitely the nearest out of their apartments. Another reason everyone prefers hanging out there. Or preferred. The thought makes Mark's steps grow faster. He needs to deal with this now, if not for his own sanity, at least for his friends. 

He hesitates on the front door, his finger already on the number of their apartment, ready to ring the door phone. It felt like an invisible force was stopping him from doing it, all the thoughts about what would happen when he made his way to the ninth floor. How would he even start on why he was there, what would he talk about, where should he begin-

The door next to him clicks open and Mark's suddenly face to face with Jinyoung. 

"I thought you might hesitate," Jinyoung shrugs as he pulls Mark by his arm into the hallway where Jaebum's standing. They're both wearing their coats. "We're going to my place, so you two can talk."

"You don't need to...," Mark mutters but Jinyoung gives him a stern look.

"You don't need us there," Jinyoung replies simply. Mark just stares, so Jinyoung ushers him towards the elevator. "You're already here, just go."

"Good luck," Jaebum whispers with a pat on his back.

Mark watches the two leave and he stands in front of the elevator for a minute or two before finally pressing the button and stepping inside. Everything is running through his mind in full speed, he feels dizzy and nervous but he knows he has to do this. His hands are sweaty when he arrives at the floor and steps out to stand in front of the apartment's door. 

With a deep breath, he pushes the doorbell. His heart feels like it's going to come out of his mouth when the door opens and Jackson's standing in front of him. He's dressed in his usual black tank top and black sweats, wide eyes looking at Mark.

"We need to talk."

 

 

 

Ten minutes pass, and he's sitting on the same couch he's sat on countless of times staring at his hands while Jackson stares at him. Not a word has been spoken, except for Jackson asking him whether or not he wants to have something to drink and Mark replying that water would be good.

Mark's never been a talker. He's always chosen everything he says carefully and never says anything he doesn't need to say. Right now, he has so many things he wants to say it's almost impossible to piece out a sentence to start with.

"It's nice to see you here," Jackson finally says. His voice is rugged and quiet, but it feels so eerily familiar Mark almost gets chills. Like he's teleported back to being in high school and Jackson's whispering to him in the bed of his room so they wouldn't wake his family up. 

"I can't keep on avoiding you," Mark fiddles with his own fingers and finally looks up at Jackson. 

"I'm sorry you feel like you need to do that," Jackson murmurs. "But I understand why you want to avoid me."

"Yeah," Mark nods and takes in a sharp breath. He tries to remain as calm as possible. "Do you really?"

Jackson's taken aback by Mark's sudden question. "What do you mean by that?" he asks, brows knitted together.

"Do you really understand what I've been going through?" Mark tries his best to not sound bitter. Even if he still kind of is. He bites the inside of his cheek. 

"Mark...," Jackson tries but Mark cuts him off.

"Really. I didn't come here to fight, I came here to talk, but don't pretend like you actually know how I feel." Mark sighs. He's aware he's letting way too much slip through but he can't help it. He's never had the chance to resolve this with anyone, he's been struggling alone ever since they broke up. 

Jackson looks like a kicked, sad puppy. "You're right, I don't. But I was hurt too, you know. It wasn't easy for me either."

"You were still the one who left me," Mark mutters. 

"I really had no choice, Mark," the way Jackson says his name makes him feel the same as earlier, freakishly familiar, nostalgic in the way that takes him back to the last moments he saw him before they departed. "It wouldn't have worked out and you know that."

"Actually, I don't know that. I don't know because you never gave me a chance to try," Mark feels frustrated. He's been feeling frustrated for days now, and it doesn't help that Jackson's trying to talk himself out of everything, like he'd done nothing to be blamed for. "You never gave us a chance."

"Well, I can't take it back now, can I?" Jackson scoffs, squeezing his own hand into a fist so tight his knuckles turn white. He's frustrated too. "I can't do anything else but apologize."

"You could tell me why you did it," Mark looks down at his socked feet. 

Jackson looks at him in disbelief. "You know why. Long-distance wouldn't have worked out."

"Why?" Mark's desperate to squeeze it out of Jackson. He wants to hear it out of Jackson's mouth. "How do you know if you never gave it a chance in the first place?"

Jackson takes a deep breath. "I know myself, Mark. I know I couldn't do it and I didn't want to hurt you by sleeping around in Busan while you were here." Mark's cloudy eyes look up at Jackson, who's lips are a tight line. "I know it was dumb, but I thought I'd end it rather than make you lose your trust in me."

"Oh," Mark blinks. He can't really explain the feeling in his gut that Jackson's words caused.

Jackson continues. "And now I know that cutting pretty much all contact and not even telling you I'd be coming back to Seoul wasn't the best thing to do. And I'm sorry for that. But you never contacted me either, so I kind of felt like you might hate me."

"I kind of did," Mark whispers. "But I would've hated you a little less if you actually told me you're coming back."

"I wish you didn't." Jackson gives a small smile and then he says something that makes Mark's heart do a backflip in his chest. "I miss you."

"No, you don't," Mark mutters instantly. 

"I do." Jackson sets a hand on Mark's thigh and Mark freezes. "I really miss you."

"Stop," Mark pushes Jackson's hand away. "Don't do that. We're not doing this."

"We're not doing what?" Jackson brings his hand back to his own lap. 

Mark doesn't reply, just stands up from the couch - much to Jackson's confusion. 

"I think I need to go now. Thanks for having this talk with me," he says when he's up.

"Mark-" Jackson starts but Mark's already walking towards the door with determined steps. Jackson stands up just as Mark's opening the front door. "Mark, are we okay? For now?"

"Sure," Mark tries with a half-assed smile before he's out of the door, his jacket barely even on him.

 

 

 

The thoughts running through Mark's head are incoherent to say in the least. Out of all the possible scenarios he had thought in his mind, that wasn't one of them. The imprint of Jackson's hand on his thigh still feels like it's burning. 

He was going to tell him that he'd been hurt, that Jackson did him wrong and he wanted Jackson to know how bad he had been feeling. He was going to be strict and cutting, but when Jackson told him he missed him, everything Mark wanted to say was caught up in his throat. The way he said it, his voice so soft and vulnerable, it made Mark remember what falling in love with Jackson felt like. And that was definitely not what Mark had planned on.

His feet lead him to the subway station instead of the usual street that takes him down to his own apartment. He knows exactly where he's going even if it's something he shouldn't do, but he needs distraction and he needs it desperately. He knows Bambam is home because he just sent him a Snapchat where he was trying to study but seemed to spend more time taking pictures of himself.

The ride feels agonizing and he texts Bambam he's coming over, with no context whatsoever. He gets a reply with a bunch of question marks but isn't bothered to explain any further. The two stops pass quickly and he's out in the cold again, his skin burning hot still.

A sleepy looking Yugyeom opens the door after a couple frantic rings on their doorbell, hair tousled and bread crumbs on his shirt. He doesn't ask much, just lets Mark in. He sits back down onto the tiny couch as Mark rushes to Bambam's room, not as much as knocking on the door.

Inside, a very curious looking Bambam awaits, his notebook already thrown on the floor along with his other supplies. He's lounging on the bed, his phone in his hand.

"Okay, what the hell is up with you?" Bambam makes room on his small bed for Mark to sit down. Mark shrugs, but his hands are shaking.

"Do I have to talk about it?" Mark looks down at Bambam.

"No...?" Bambam sits up a bit better and studies Mark's flushed face. "Did you run here?"

"Maybe," Mark frowns. "I'm sorry for what I'm about to do."

Bambam doesn't even have time to question what Mark means when he's being kissed. And he kisses back instantly. Mark's thankful that Bambam doesn't question what's happening, just brings his hand on the back of Mark's head, his fingers getting lost in his messy hair. 

Mark knows it's stupid, but he desperately wants his mind away from Jackson and his thoughts somewhere else. And Bambam's teeth on his collarbone are doing exactly that.

"I thought you said we shouldn't do this," Bambam murmurs against Mark's lips when they're halfway undressed. His hand is somewhere under Mark's shirt and Mark's own is in the back pocket of Bambam's jeans. 

"I changed my mind," he hums and presses another heated kiss on Bambam's open mouth.


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes hello, thank you again so much for all the feedback you've left really warms up my cold heart <3

Yugyeom notices immediately when he wakes up that he's not in his bed but on their tiny sofa, since he's freezing and his neck and back are killing him. The window of the living room doesn't close properly and all he had on him was a thin blanket. The battery has ran out of his laptop so he reaches for his phone to see what the time is. It's already morning, an hour away from his alarm going off. He sits up and stretches, just in time to see someone leaving their apartment through the front door.

He stares at the door for a while, really confused on who would be at their apartment at this time, until he remembers napping in the living room last night and getting woken up by Mark.

"Bambam?" Yugyeom yells through the apartment. He can hear some rustling from Bambam's room, a loud groan and the door finally opens. Bambam stands there, dark bags under his eyes, clothes disheveled and a hickey visible on his chest that's revealed by his loose shirt.

"What?" Bambam's voice is hoarse and he's squinting at Yugyeom. Originally Yugyeom was only going to ask what Mark was doing there, but judging from the way Bambam's looking, there's no question about it.

"Did you sleep with Mark...?" Yugyeom raises an eyebrow. Bambam stares at him blankly before blush sneaks onto his cheeks and he looks away from Yugyeom, giving away the answer before even having to say anything. "Bambam..."

"What? He initiated it, just so you know," Bambam crosses his arms and leans against his doorframe.

"I didn't want to know, but seriously...," Yugyeom sighs. "You and Mark? Just after you broke up with Jackson, Mark's ex-boyfriend?"

Bambam licks his lips, still avoiding Yugyeom's gaze. "I didn't really think about it that way. There wasn't much... thinking happening."

"I can tell," Yugyeom snorts. "You've really made a mess, you know?"

Bambam drops his head down to his chest. He takes a deep breath and brings his hands behind his neck. "I know. You don't have to tell me."

"What are you going to do?" Yugyeom asks as Bambam slowly walks from his doorframe to the couch and plops himself next to him. 

"I have no fucking clue," Bambam whines. He buries himself under the think blanket Yugyeom's disregarded. "Probably fake my own death?"

"Yeah, that could work. But right now we're making breakfast," Yugyeom pats Bambam's head. "Nothing's getting solved with an empty stomach."

"You sound like Jaebum," Bambam snorts, following Yugyeom into their tiny kitchen. 

 

 

 

Yugyeom runs into Youngjae when he's walking back from the library. He's been working on an essay for a week now and today was finally the day to turn it in and he could take the pile of books back. He's feeling great, he's done all of his assingments for now and even if there are probably new ones piling up in no time, he's enjoying the moment of not having to do anything - if only for the rest of the day.

"Hey!" he greets with a grin but Youngjae doesn't seem to notice, absentmindedly texting on his phone. Yugyeom clears his throat and Youngjae finally notices that he's standing in front of him, but he looks a little weird. He's not smiling. At least not in the way he usually smiles, there's only a sad attempt at a smile left on his lips.

"Ah, hey," he does force out somewhat a smile, eyes crinkling up at Yugyeom. The younger is not convinced, there's clearly something up. 

"Is everything okay?" Yugyeom asks instantly. Youngjae's terrible at hiding his feelings, even if he's trying really hard to make it seem like he's alright.

"Yeah," Youngjae nods frantically, blinking furiously. Yugyeom gives him a pointed look and Youngjae's face falls immediately as he looks down at his shoes. "I had my presentation just now. It... didn't go well." It's the presentation Youngjae had told him about last week, excited and optimistic. "I prepared for it for a month, I went through everything countless of times with Jaebum... My professor didn't fail me, but he wasn't happy. I've never done so poorly, and I'm supposed to be good at what I do."

The way Youngjae's bottom lip juts out and his fingers fiddle nervously on his phone as he rambles on are all signs that Yugyeom needs to do something - and he does. When Youngjae quiets down, he pulls him into a tight hug, wrapping both of his arms around Youngjae's shoulders. He squeezes him close and it takes a while, but Youngjae's arms snake around his middle eventually. He can feel Youngjae's tense posture relax.

"You are good at what you do," Yugyeom murmurs and places one of his hands on Youngjae's fluffy hair, petting it lightly. They stand like that for a second, until Yugyeom feels like he should probably pull away.

"Don't move," Youngjae mumbles against Yugyeom's shirt instantly when he's about to step away. Yugyeom chuckles at Youngjae's clinginess and returns his arms to where they were previously around Youngjae.

"I'll be here for as long as you need," Yugyeom whispers. There's no one else around in the hallway they're in, so if Youngjae wants Yugyeom to hold him, Yugyeom does as he's told. Youngjae's hair smells nice and he's warm against Yugyeom's body. It feels nice. 

They're interrupted by two sets of fast footsteps down the hallway and Yugyeom turns to look at the source. Suddenly he's face to face with Jaebum, concerned and out of breath. Behind him walks Jinyoung, looking a little irritated but when doesn't he look like that.

"Are you alright?" Jaebum sets a hand on Youngjae's shoulder, who finally lets go of Yugyeom to lean against Jaebum's side. He looks pathetic.

"No," he says, a little overdramatic on purpose but it still squeezes something in Yugyeom's stomach.

"He texted about six hundred crying emojis to Jaebum without context," Jinyoung snorts quietly to Yugyeom. Youngjae's latching onto Jaebum, quietly explaining about his presentation to him, who probably understands way better than Yugyeom or Jinyoung ever could. "We were about to go to lunch but he skipped it to come here. I can't believe it. He literally ditched me for fried chicken the other day."

Jinyoung shakes his head but looks adoringly at the two, his face soft. Yugyeom smiles as well, feeling a sense of happiness inside of him when he sees Jaebum's managed to make Youngjae smile again.

 

 

 

"Should we get together tomorrow?" Jinyoung asks casually over lunch where they headed after the whole ordeal in the hallway. He's poking at his food while Jaebum's stuffing his face like he's never eaten before. "It's been a while."

"Sure," Youngjae grins. He already looks better, laughing like he usually does. Still, Yugyeom feels weird. It was the first time he'd seen Youngjae so sad and he wishes he could've done more to make him smile.

"Are you sure you'll get everyone in the same place, though?" Jaebum mumbles with his mouth full of food. 

"Why not?" Jinyoung replies. "Mark and Jackson talked things out. I think. At least he visited Jackson last night."

"Ah," Yugyeom just hums, realizing that last night was also when Mark appeared behind their door looking distraught and uneasy. He chooses not to mention it, leaving it up to the two to come out with the news if they feel like it. He doesn't really want it to get any messier than it already is.

"What?" Jinyoung eyes him curiously. Of course he noticed. He notices everything. "What was that sound?"

"Nothing. But I'm in and I'm pretty sure Bambam's up for it, too," Yugyeom smiles, trying to cover up whatever Jinyoung is suspecting. "I think the dust has settled between him and Jackson, anyway."

"I sure hope so," Jaebum mutters, sighing overdramatically. "I can't be bothered with all this drama."

"You're acting like you two getting together wasn't a big mess we had to suffer through for months," Youngjae teases his friend and both Jaebum and Jinyoung glare at him. Youngjae screeches with laughter as he tries to hide by squeezing himself as close to Yugyeom as possible. Yugyeom snorts and lifts his arm so Youngjae's protected by it from the fork Jaebum's threatening to throw at him. 

"He's got a point," Jinyoung shrugs as he grabs Jaebum's arm. "A mess we could've avoided if you weren't so freaked out about your feelings all the time." He coos at Jaebum who's cheeks flush a shade redder. Yugyeom didn't know them back then, since it all happened before he even got into the university. He's heard bits and pieces, but this was brand new information. Jaebum being 'freaked out about his feelings' sounds awfully familiar to Yugyeom's constantly stressed roommate.

"But is tomorrow decided now?" Youngjae peeps from his place, still cuddled next to Yugyeom. The threat of being assaulted by Jaebum was long gone, but Youngjae still stayed under Yugyeom's arm. Not that Yugyeom really minded.

 

 

 

The moment Yugyeom, Bambam and Mark step into Jaebum and Jackson's apartment sets off a strange string of events. Mark was already hanging out at their apartment for reasons unknown - Yugyeom does probably know why he was there, but chooses not to think about it - so they decided to drink a couple of beers and get ready together. It seems like things aren't as awkward between Mark and Bambam as they thought.

The first thing Jackson says when he sees them arrive isn't hello, it's "That's my shirt?!"

Jinyoung, Jaebum and Youngjae turn to look at Mark, or Mark's shirt, that Jackson is pointing at. "That's my shirt," he says again, looking at everyone with wide eyes.

"Mark?" Jinyoung raises an eyebrow. "Have you kept Jackson's shirt for this long...?"

Mark shakes his head in disbelief. Jackson squints at him, confused. "I bought it on the second day I moved here," he explains, making everyone even more confused.

"Have you two...?" Youngjae points at Jackson and then at Mark. The logical conclusion was obviously that they've made up. "I mean... are you two... again?"

"No!" Mark and Jackson yell in unison. "I got it from Bambam," Mark explains and Bambam smiles very uncomfortably. Everyone else nods but Jinyoung keeps on staring at them, like he's trying to solve a puzzle.

"Sorry," Bambam mumbles at Jackson. "I must've taken it back when we... Yeah."

Jackson shrugs. "It's fine. I was wondering where it disappeared."

"Um," Jinyoung sits up straighter to really take a good look at Mark and Bambam, still standing close by the door. He makes a sound loud enough that everyone's attention is on him. "Doesn't explain why Mark's wearing it."

Their faces twist into embarrassed expressions and everyone can see the tips of Mark's ears turning red. A very, very uncomfortable silence falls into the room. 

"Really?" Jinyoung says slowly and dryly. Jackson blinks at them, eyebrows nearing his hairline. The rest just look very uneasy, Yugyeom burying his face into his hands. "Out of all the people, you two just had to... Just. Jesus." Jinyoung pinches the bridge of his nose. Jaebum pats his shoulder in a comforting but awkward way. 

Yugyeom silently agrees with Jinyoung. They've all been trying to help the three bothersome heroes resolve the mess they're in and then Bambam and Mark go and bang each other. 

"Maybe just let us do what we want," it's Mark who speaks, sitting on the floor next to Youngjae. He's clearly a little irritated. "I appreciate the concern, but please."

Jinyoung rolls his eyes but Jaebum's steady hand on his shoulder stops him from saying anything. "You heard him. Let them be," Jaebum murmurs. 

 

 

 

The athomsphere is awkward to say in the least, even if no one refuses to say it out loud. Jackson's quiet, which is very unusual to him. Bambam and Mark are stuck together in the corner of the living room, talking quietly to each other about something. Jinyoung's irritated, glancing back between the pair and his brooding friend. The only ones oblivious to the uncomfortable air are Jaebum and Youngjae, who are giggling at their own stupid jokes and Yugyeom decides to join their company.

He squeezes between them on the sofa without much of a warning and Jaebum slaps his thigh with a frown. 

"Do you want to go somewhere?" he says quietly to the two. "It's a little awkward here."

"I'm hungry," Jaebum ponders with a finger on his chin. "We could go get some pizza."

"Should we?" Yugyeom grins. Youngjae nods and smiles back at him. Even if the initial plan was to get wasted and most probably go clubbing, Yugyeom realizes it's almost midnight and he's barely had a drink. No one else is really drunk either, Youngjae and Jaebum are a little tipsy at most.

"Let's go," Jaebum nods and stands up, gaining an eyebrow raise from Jinyoung. 

"Where are you going?" Jinyoung asks. 

"For pizza," Jaebum grins and Jinyoung shakes his head, laughing. "Do you want to join?"

While Jinyoung's thinking, Jackson stands up. He lets out an obviously fake yawn. "Wow, I'm tired," he says. "I think I'll head off to bed."

They all say goodnight to him as he makes his way to his room and closes the door behind him.

Jinyoung finally decides to join them, since he'd be left with Mark and Bambam. The two realize it's probably their cue to leave as well, so the six of them leave through the door at the same time. Down by the street, Bambam and Mark say their goodbyes and leave in the opposite direction, most probably heading off to Mark's apartment.

"Ew, I can't go home tonight," Youngjae sticks out his tongue in disgust as they're out of their sight. "I don't want to listen to those two... doing things."

"You can sleep at ours'," Jaebum pats his shoulder. They're walking through the street towards Jaebum's favorite pizza joint.

Youngjae gives him a squint. "If Jinyoung's there too, it's even worse than sleeping at my own. I'd rather sleep somewhere I'm not subjected to hearing someone's nasty sex noises." 

Jaebum threatens to slap him but Youngjae's faster and ducks behind Yugyeom. Yugyeom smiles to himself just for thinking about how many times Youngjae's used him as a human shield lately.

"You can sleep at our place, since Bambam's probably not coming home," Yugyeom says and pinches Youngjae's soft cheek. Youngjae makes a face.

"Where would I even sleep? On the couch? You can barely sit there," Youngjae laughs.

Yugyeom looks a little sheepish. "M-My bed?" he says quietly, not even sure why he's feeling so shy. Probably because after he said that, Jaebum whipped his head to stare at Yugyeom with the strangest, meanest look. "I mean I can sleep on the couch. Or Bambam's bed, or whatever, we'll figure something out," he talks nervously, since Jaebum's still burning holes onto him. 

"Jaebum," Jinyoung's tone is warning. He's obviously noticed the way Jaebum keeps staring at Yugyeom. "Stop being so creepy."

"Okay," Youngjae nods, seemingly ignoring Jaebum's weird acting. He squeezes Yugyeom's arm that he's already latching onto. He smiles up at Yugyeom and Yugyeom gets lost in how adorable he looks.

 

 

 

Jinyoung and Jaebum buy their pizzas and head back to Jaebum's apartment, leaving Youngjae and Yugyeom outside of the pizza joint. Yugyeom offers to carry the pizzas because Youngjae's complaining about his hands being cold and he can't hold them in his pockets while carrying pizzas. They head out to the nearest subway station that's only about a block away.

"Are you feeling better?" Yugyeom asks. They're almost at the station and so far it's been pretty quiet. It's already pretty late and they're both tired, so even if the silence is understandable, Yugyeom wants to break it.

"Huh?" Youngjae looks at him weirdly. "About what?"

"The... uh. The presentation," Yugyeom suddenly feels stupid. Youngjae's shown no signs about feeling bad and Youngjae's the type of person who shows his emotions openly. He's looked happy all night. But Yugyeom's had this gnawing feeling ever since that day, like he should've done more.

"Ah! Yeah, yeah," Youngjae rubs the back of his neck before putting his hand back into his pocket. "I guess I overreacted." He hums quietly to himself, then turns to look at Yugyeom with a huge, warm smile. "It was really nice that you happened to be there. Has anyone ever told you that you give really good hugs?"

Yugyeom blinks at him. His own face twists into a smile as well. "Benefits of being freakishly tall, I guess," he laughs quietly. "But I'm glad you're feeling good."

Youngjae nods. They've reached the station and take the stairs down to the platform.

"Hey," Youngjae starts after they've stood in the silence for a minute or two. "When are you coming over to finish that game we started? I don't want to finish it without you."

"Aw, what the hell," Yugyeom can't help but smirk at how cute Youngjae is. "You could've finished it, it's your game after all."

"It felt wrong," Youngjae pouts. "It's not as fun without you."

"Okay, okay," Yugyeom shakes his head. "I have free time next week, I promise I'll be there."

 

 

 

They're full and exhausted, so after finishing with their food, Yugyeom stuffs the leftovers into their small fridge and they settle in for the night. Youngjae agrees on sleeping on the couch anyway, since he reasons it for being way too small for Yugyeom to sleep on. Yugyeom agrees because he's too tired to bicker about it, so he rummages through his closet for a spare blanket and a pillow.

"Goodnight," he waves at Youngjae from the door of his room and Youngjae lifts his hand up lazily. He's barely closed his door when he hears Youngjae already snoring. Yugyeom falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow, too.

There's a knock on his door about two hours later and when he sits up, the door is already opening, revealing Youngjae wrapped up in the blanket Yugyeom gave him.

"I'm sorry for waking you up, but I'm freezing," Youngjae says quietly. Yugyeom's sleepy eyes try to focus on him in the dark. "Do you have a second blanket or something?"

"Uh," Yugyeom gets up from his bed. "I'm sorry I didn't mention the window in the living room doesn't close properly."

"Yeah, I noticed," Youngjae laughs. Yugyeom walks up to him to flick on the lights by the doorway to make him finding a second blanket easier. He opens the door of his single closet to see if there'd be a second one, only to find nothing.

"I don't think I have anything...," Yugyeom frowns. He turns to look at the shivering boy at the door. "Um... You could..."

"Huh?" Youngjae squints up at him. His eyes are barely open, he looks like he could fall asleep at any given moment.

"You could sleep here. My room is a lot warmer," Yugyeom scratches his own cheek. "I'll sleep on the couch."

"Yugyeom... You'll get sick if you sleep there," Youngjae juts his bottom lip out and he looks so adorable Yugyeom can't help but smile.

"We'll have to figure out something then."

Yugyeom glances between Youngjae and his bed, like calculating whether or not they'd both fit in there. He's had girls over and even then it's been a struggle to squeeze two people into the bed and even if Youngjae's shorter than he is, he's still fairly tall.

"Are you a small spoon or a big spoon?" Yugyeom suddenly grins and Youngjae gives him the most confused look. It's a spur of the moment kind of idea, but he's tired, Youngjae's tired and something has to be done.

"What the-," Youngjae starts laughing and his laughter gets louder when Yugyeom lies down on the bed and pats the very small space left next to him, wiggling his eyebrows. He does walk up to him and tries to fit himself next to Yugyeom, still wrapped in his own blanket. 

"You look like a burrito," Yugyeom snorts as he pulls his own blanket over both of them. "I guess you're not a spoon at all, you're just a delicious little burrito." Yugyeom blames being tired for his stupid jokes.

"Don't eat me," Youngjae mumbles sleepily.

"I'll try not to. But you did leave the light on," Yugyeom notes. 

"I'm... asleep...," Youngjae fake snores and Yugyeom's forced to get up himself to put it out. He comes back to the bed and settles in the suddenly smaller space left for him, right between Youngjae and the wall. 

"I just realized we could've just stolen a blanket from Bambam's bed," Yugyeom whispers after a small silence. 

"I'm too comfortable to move," Youngjae murmurs. Yugyeom chuckles. Youngjae turns slightly to see Yugyeom's face. "I'm joking, though. If you want to sleep in peace-"

"Nah, stay." Yugyeom smiles down at him. "I don't mind."  
Youngjae eyes him weirdly before nodding and turning his head back onto his pillow. Just a minute later the room is filled with sleepy noises, soft snoring and slow breaths.


	6. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> augh i thought i'd get this all published before i start college next monday ;; let's hope i manage to edit everything so there wouldn't be a super long pause in publishing!

Bambam comes home to a very quiet apartment but two pairs of shoes where there only should be one. He slides off his shoes quietly, he hears faint snoring coming from Yugyeom's room. He disregards his coat and bag onto the chair that serves a coat rack and starts sneaking towards Yugyeom's room. He quietly opens the door and finds a huge pile of blankets in his bed. Yugyeom's face is visible, but everything he can see from the other person is a fluff of brown hair.

His first thought is that Yugyeom's brought home a hook-up. Yugyeom's fairly popular within the female population and everyone needs a good fuck here and there. But then there's some rustling and the other person turns slighty, revealing the top half of his face and Bambam slaps a hand over his mouth to stop himself from laughing at loud. 

Without saying a word, he grabs his phone to snap a picture of Yugyeom and Youngjae sleeping and sends it to the group chat. He can't let an opportunity like this pass. Then he proceeds to wake them up by flopping down onto them, scaring the hell out of Youngjae who screams immediately.

Yugyeom pushes him off the bed instantly and Bambam lands with a loud thump.

"Well good morning to you too," Bambam mutters and stands up. Yugyeom makes a face at him. Youngjae's buried his face into his blanket, groaning quietly.

"Did I interrupt something?" Bambam coos and tries to get on the bed again, this time stopped by Youngjae's foot on his stomach.

"My beauty sleep," Youngjae mumbles. 

"You're already beautiful," Bambam earns another kick. Yugyeom finally sits up to glare at Bambam properly.

"Stop looking so grumpy, it's already noon," he sighs, holding onto Youngjae's foot to stop him from kicking him again. 

"Really?" Youngjae stops mid-movement to reach out for his phone on the floor that proves that it's in fact already noon, they've been sleeping really long. He also notices there's around sixteen messages in their group chat and like twelve of them are from Jaebum. He opens the chat to be bombared with a spam of angry face emojis as a reaction to a picture of them sleeping.

Bambam giggles when he notices Youngjae scrolling through the chat. "Did Jaebum already see it?"

Youngjae nods with his eyes wide and shows the conversation to Yugyeom, who visibly pales.

"You have to tell him not to kill me," Yugyeom whimpers to Youngjae, burying his face into the hood of Youngjae's soft hoodie.

 

 

 

Even if Yugyeom offered to cook him breakfast, Youngjae leaves pretty much as soon as he gets up. He told them he wants to brush his teeth and take a shower, but promised Yugyeom he's going to take up on that offer someday. So instead, he warms up the left-overs of the pizza they left in the fridge for him and Bambam and they squeeze onto the small couch to eat.

"So, have you decided what you're going to do about Mark?" Yugyeom asks. Bambam sighs immediately. He knows Bambam spent the night at Mark's.

"No. We're just... you know."

"Fucking? Oh yeah, I know. That's why I had to sleep with Youngjae last night," Yugyeom laughs sarcastically. "He didn't want to go to his place and listen to you two screw all night."

"Had to? You didn't seem to mind it one bit," Bambam pokes Yugyeom's leg with his finger. He chooses to pick up on Yugyeom talking about Youngjae, because even if nothing were ever to happen, it was still a great way to tease them. "I mean, he could've slept in my bed..."

"Anyway," Yugyeom clears his throat. A blush is creeping up his neck, Bambam notes. "You and Mark?"

"Changing the subject, I see," Bambam wiggles his eyebrows. 

"He literally just slept over, and even if the rest of you are into guys it doesn't mean I am, stop it," Yugyeom pinches the bridge of his nose. 

"I heard that Jaebum wasn't either before he met Jinyoung," Bambam suggests and earns a smack on the forehead with a pizza crust. "Ow! Okay, okay, I'm just teasing you."

"I think I asked you about Mark," Yugyeom huffs. He sets his empty plate onto the floor, next to the growing pile of dirty dishes. Bambam's face falls all of the sudden. "Why do you look like that?" Yugyeom asks.

"I don't know..." Bambam mutters. 

"You don't know what? Are you having second thoughts again?" Yugyeom's face turns into a frown. 

"No, not at all. I feel different this time. We've been friends for a while now so I already know what Mark's like and he knows me. I'd say I feel more... I feel comfortable."

"Really?" Yugyeom studies Bambam as if to check if he still was his best friend sitting in front of him. "So what you're saying is...?"

"I feel like I could give him a chance," Bambam says way too quickly.

"Seriously?" Yugyeom grins. "Wow. And to think all it took was Mark."

"I guess. I'm nervous as hell, though," Bambam sucks in a breath. "We haven't really talked about this yet. And I don't know when it comes up or if he even wants anything more than a fuck. I'm really nervous."

Yugyeom pulls Bambam's head into a tight hug, even kissing the top of his messy hair.

"You don't even understand how proud of you I am right now."

 

 

 

When Mark's phone beeped with a message, he was expecting it to be either Bambam or their active group chat, not Jackson texting him a simple 'i do honestly miss you'.

He's at the line for the coffee shop that's located downstairs of their apartment block where he's fetching some iced coffee and pastries as an apology for Youngjae for being such a dick and a bad friend for the past few weeks. They're home together with nowhere to go and no one else to join them first time in ages and Mark wants to do everything to reassure Youngjae that he still cares for him. 

He stares at the message with his tongue between his teeth. He doesn't even notice the line moving until someone taps his shoulder in order to make him move. He quickly apologizes and steps forward, eyes still glued to his phone.

The nice girl behind the counter knows their order by heart, so when Mark fumbles with his words, she just asks if he wants their usual. His brain feels fuzzy and not right, he just nods and pays her.

The way back up to their apartment and the phone is still on his hand with the message still sitting in front of his eyes. Inside, he pushes the paper bag to Youngjae and sits down, not saying a word.

"Are you okay?" Youngjae asks casually while digging out his order from the bag. Mark weighs whether or not he should tell Youngjae, but seeing Youngjae's face in a concerned frown he just shoves the phone to his face. Youngjae glances at the message and his eyes travel back to Mark. "Okay."

"Yeah," Mark huffs. "...Yeah."

"Are you going to reply?" Youngjae offers Mark's coffee to him.

"I don't think I am," Mark takes it and drinks a long sip through the straw. "What am I supposed to say?"

Youngjae shrugs. "Maybe it's something you shouldn't discuss over text."

"Yeah," Mark agrees. The talk they had didn't really lead anywhere, it only made it able for them to be in the same room without any extra drama. If anything, their discussion only made things more complicated. "Sorry, this was supposed to be an afternoon just for us. Let's not bring him into it." Mark gives Youngjae a genuine smile.

"If you want so," Youngjae nods. "I've missed seeing you smile, Mark."

"Aww, Youngjae," Mark purses his lips together. He leans his head against Youngjae's shoulder. "I'm sorry I've been neglecting you."

"You've been going through a lot," Youngjae assures with a pat on Mark's hair. "I just wish I could've helped you more."

"You did enough. I'm just a shithead," Mark sighs. 

"Maybe so, but you're my shithead," Youngjae hums. 

 

 

 

 

Mark's out of it and Bambam stops mid-kiss to squeeze his cheeks with his hand and make him stare straight into his eyes.

"Earth to Mark?" he shakes Mark's head slightly and Mark playfully rolls his eyes back and loosens his muscles so Bambam feels like he's shaking a corpse. This earns him a snort but when he stops and actually looks at Bambam, he's not smiling.

"Sorry," Mark mumbles. Bambam squeezes his cheeks a little.

"You're being weird, you've hardly said a word since I came here," Bambam accuses. "And I feel like I'm kissing a dead fish."

"Sorry," Mark repeats. Bambam lets go of his face.

"I just want to know if there's something on your mind," Bambam sighs, smoothing his knuckles over Mark's cheek. Mark leans slightly into the touch.

"Jackson texted me," Mark blurts out. Bambam frowns. "He said he misses me."

"Uh, okay," Bambam says. "That's... weird."

"Yeah. It's not even the first time he's said it," Mark looks down at his hands. "I don't know what I'm supposed to reply."

"Tell him to stop?" Bambam offers. When Mark keeps on staring at the hands in his lap, Bambam swallows nervously. "If... If you want him to stop that is."

Mark looks up immediately. "What?"

"I mean, do you miss him too?" Bambam's frowning. 

"Not really... I don't think I do. I mean, not in the way he misses me," Mark comforts Bambam by setting a hand onto his shoulder. "We just have a history together. It's a lot to process. I'm not expecting you to understand but... Yeah."

"Alright," Bambam nods. "Why wouldn't I understand?"

Mark gives him a look. Bambam stares back. He looks strange, his eyes cloudy and glossed over. "I didn't say that."

"You implied it. Why?" Bambam's not one to get upset over pretty much anything and his reaction is weirding Mark out to no end.

"Stop that," Mark sighs and brings his hand to Bambam's cheek. He presses a small kiss onto the other cheek, leaving his face right next to Bambam's, his nose against the soft skin of his face. Bambam turns his head so their lips press against each other, the kiss so much softer and gentle than their kisses usually are. 

Bambam's hands are holding the hem of Mark's shirt almost desperately. Mark pulls him down with him, so they're lying face to face, noses pressed against each other. 

"Don't fret," Mark whispers. 

"I don't," Bambam replies. "Don't talk to me like I'm stupid."

"But you are a little stupid," Mark grins. Bambam tries to take a bite out of his nose as a revenge but Mark's faster. 

"Yeah, but you could at least act that I wasn't," Bambam complains.

 

 

 

'sorry about the last text.'

The words glare at Mark from the screen of his phone. It's been two days since Jackson's last text that he didn't reply to for obvious reasons. He sighs as he picks his phone up from his computer table. He's typing up an essay, that's at least he tells everyone who asks. In reality, he's been playing Overwatch for the last two hours.

Mark sees Jackson typing, then stop typing and start typing again. He sighs and chooses to let Jackson out of his misery and types up a reply.

'it's alright.'

Almost instantly, his phone rings. It's Jackson. Mark hesitantly picks up the phonecall and with a shaky hand, brings it to his ear.

"Hey," he whispers. He's not sure why he's whispering, Youngjae's not even home. 

"Hi. I don't want to sound creepy, but I was out with some guys from this course I'm in and I was walking home and I'm kind of... I'm at your front door and I was just wondering if you'd want to come down and talk to me?" Jackson says in a fast, hushed sentence. He sounds terrified.

"Um." Mark swallows. "I guess."

"Thanks. I'll wait for you here," Jackson hangs up the call and Mark sets his phone down onto the table. He gets up, throws on the hoodie that's lying on his bed and makes his way out of the apartment, mind blank and body pretty much moving on it's own. In the elevator, he freaks out and almost goes back to the apartment, but decides to gather himself and just go see Jackson.

He finds Jackson sitting on the bench outside of the coffee shop, hunched over his phone, free hand in his pocket. As soon as he sees Mark, he springs up to his feet and takes the couple steps between them so he's standing directly in front of him. 

"I guess you've been drinking," Mark sniffs at the heavy reek of alcohol.

"A little," Jackson smiles sheepishly. "Thanks for coming down."

Mark shrugs. "I had nothing to do anyway."

Jackson probably knows that he's lying by the way he looks at him but nods. "I'm sorry for the message. Drinking wine alone is never a good idea."

Mark doesn't even know if he's relieved about it being just another drunk text. "It's alright. I didn't know what to reply. Sorry."

"No, no, don't apologize," Jackson takes a step forward and they're way too close to each other. He takes a short pause and Mark can almost feel his breath on his face. "I know you're not interested anymore. I know I blew it. And I've blamed myself every day since I came back and saw you again."

Mark chews on his lip. His heart is beating and hands shaking inside his pockets. "What am I supposed to say?" he just mumbles. "I'm with Bambam now."

"So you're actually together?" Jackson shakes his head. "He told me he doesn't want a relationship."

"Did he?" Mark looks up at him. They haven't even discussed what they are with Bambam but the words blurted out of his mouth and he's too late to correct himself anymore. 

"I guess it was just me, then," Jackson smiles but he looks incredibly sad. 

"Don't say that," Mark softens at the way Jackson's looking, so pathetic and broken. "There's nothing wrong with you." Jackson's deep eyes stare into Mark's own and he forgets how to breathe for a second. "M-maybe you just met the wrong person at the wrong time," he tries but Jackson's still looking at him. 

As much as he still doesn't like what Jackson did to him, he doesn't want to see Jackson so sad. He's not really mad at him anymore, he doesn't even know if he should be or not. He reaches out his hand to squeeze Jackson's arm. Jackson stares at the hand and his eyes travel back to Mark's face and he looks like he's about to cry.

"Hey...," Mark whispers. "Don't. Jackson. Don't cry."

Jackson bites his lip and with the blink of his eye, a tear escapes onto his cheek. 

"Sorry," Jackson wipes it away with the back of his hand. "This is pathetic."

"It's not," Mark tries to comfort but pulls his hand back. He feels a piece up in his own throat too. He can see Jackson fighting it, but the tears keep on falling and Mark sighs as he steps the final inch closer and hugs Jackson. 

Jackson sobs quietly against Mark's shoulder, probably getting tears on his hoodie but Mark doesn't really care. He has an awful feeling in his stomach, his hands on Jackson's back and his own tears threatening to spill. Having Jackson so close, the smell of the same cologne he used to wear back then, his strong arms around Mark like they used to hold him - it's all too much and Mark doesn't know what to do. He wants to let go but at the same time he never wants to leave where he's standing.

"Go home and sleep," Mark manages to whisper. He hopes Jackson doesn't notice his shaking hands. "You need sleep."

"You're right," Jackson mumbles. "I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry for," Mark says when they pull apart. "Things just... went this way."

Jackson nods. He squeezes Mark's shoulder one last time before turning on his heels and walking away. Mark stares at his back until he's out of his sight. His own hands find their way to cover his face as he takes a deep breath, taking every bit of strength in him to not start crying. 

 

 

 

 

When he's back inside, he checks on his phone he left there by accident. There are three missed calls and a ten new notifications, all from Bambam. He's pretty sure Bambam's not dying, so he takes a moment to calm down before he finds his number in his contacts and calls him back. 

"What the hell, Mark?" is the dry reply. "I thought you died."

"You won't get rid of me that easily," Mark laughs quietly and sits on his bed. His hands are still shaking but Bambam's sarcastic voice feels calming. "What's up?"

"Nothing much. I'm bored," Bambam sighs on the other line.

"Let me guess, you're supposed to be studying?" Mark teases.

"Maybe, maybe not," Bambam replies mysteriously. "Maybe I just wanted to hear your voice."

Mark freezes for a second. They've been spending a lot of time together and he really enjoys Bambam's company, but he also knows that what Bambam just said is exactly the sappy type of thing Bambam would never say to anyone.

"W-what?" Mark laughs. Bambam hums on the other end. "What do you really want?"

"Can't a guy call another guy he likes without ulterior motives?" He can almost feel the fake pout in Bambam's voice.   
Mark swallows. Did he really say what Mark heard him say?

"You like me?" Mark's baffled. Bambam quiets down for a second. Mark can hear him taking a deep breath.

"I kind of really do," he sounds nervous all of the sudden.

"Kind of?" Mark keeps on teasing, smiling to himself. 

"Stop laughing at me. I've been thinking really hard about this," Bambam mumbles. 

"About what?" Mark knows he's making Bambam squirm but he's having fun. After the initial shock, a warm feeling spread all over him, from the tips of his ears to his toes. 

"About me. And you. T-together," Bambam struggles with the last word. Mark's grin is nearing Youngjae-levels of bright. "For the first time in who knows how long... I'm not scared. I feel good when I'm with you."

"Wow," Mark smiles. There's a long pause, that Bambam finally breaks with a groan.

"Please tell me you like me too or I'm going to scream," Bambam whines.

"Of course I like you, idiot," Mark snorts. "Now get your ass over here and let's kiss about this."

"You're an idiot. See you in a few," Bambam ends the phonecall. Mark's left on his bed with a goofy grin on his face.


	7. Seven

"Where have you been?" Jinyoung asks like a scolding mother when Jackson appears at the apartment late at night, wobbly and reeking of alcohol. Jinyoung's still awake studying, trying to finish the last of his assignment. Jaebum's given up ages ago, already happily snoring in his bed, the soft sound slightly audible from behind his door. 

When Jackson steps into the dim light after ridding himself of his coat and shoes, Jinyoung notices he's been crying. "Jackson?"

Jackson just keeps on walking, almost like a ghost of himself. He says nothing, doesn't even look at the other man, so Jinyoung gets up from his place to catch up to him. Something's definitely not right. He grabs onto Jackson's shoulder and spins him to face him. Jackson stares at him blankly, hiccuping.

"What happened?" Jinyoung's scolding tone is suddenly full of concern. He smooths his hand over Jackson's arm, doting everywhere to see if there's any physical harm done. He seems to be alright in that aspect, so it's something else.

"Nothing. My life. My life happened," Jackson says pathetically. He rests his forehead onto Jinyoung's shoulder, sighing deeply. 

"What are you talking about?" Jinyoung mumbles, petting the back of Jackson's head. 

"I kind of went to Mark's apartment to talk," Jackson mumbles. Jinyoung's hand stops its movement.

"You went to his apartment?" Jinyoung pulls away enough to stare at Jackson. "Why?"

"Because I'm drunk and I miss him," Jackson wails and squeezes Jinyoung again. "And I'm pathetic. I can't stop thinking about him."

"Alright," Jinyoung exhales. "You're not that pathetic."

"I am, Jinyoungie," Jackson whimpers. "I know I don't have any chance to fix anything anymore, but I can't stop thinking about him. I... I really miss him."

"I get that," Jinyoung whispers. "Appearing at his apartment drunk in the middle of the night is still not the best way to go on about it."

"I know..." Jackson slumps against Jinyoung. "Lately, I've really realized I made by breaking up with him."

"Jackson," Jinyoung says sternly. "It's what you thought was the best thing to do at that time. There's no reason to dwell on it now. He's clearly moved on. It's time for you to do the same."

Jackson looks hurt, but Jinyoung knows he's right. "I know. I just kind of... I wish I had someone."

"You have us," Jinyoung reminds. 

"I know and you don't even know how much I appreciate you. You, Jaebum, all the amazing people I've met through you... But it's not the same thing and you know it," Jackson reasons. "I want someone to love me. Not like you love me, but how you love Jaebum."

Jinyoung looks a little uncomfortable, hand absentmindedly tracing patterns onto Jackson's shoulder. 

"I think you need some rest," Jinyoung whispers, stepping away from Jackson. "There are so many people who love you. All you need now is sleep."

 

 

 

Jaebum notices that Jinyoung's a little out of it. He's seen the signs so many times before; his teeth gnawing on his bottom lip, his eyes unfocusing from the text in front of him to space out and stare at the wall. They're lounging on his bed, Jaebum putting in the last touches of his edit for the video course, Jinyoung drowning in one of his law textbooks.

"What's on your mind?" he asks. He's on the other side of the bed, laptop propped up on the bed over a small pile of books. Jinyoung blinks at him, setting his book down neatly with a sigh.

"Do you really want to know? I know you don't really care about this stuff," Jinyoung asks.

Jaebum nods. "If it's bothering you, then I want to know."

"I feel really bad for Jackson. He's not really being himself," Jinyoung reveal.

"I've noticed," Jaebum hums. He saves his project, closes the lid of his laptop and crawls next to Jinyoung. 

"He came home drunk and crying after meeting up with Mark. He kept telling me how much he misses him and how much he wants someone to just love him," Jinyoung murmurs against Jaebum's hair. The older man had settled himself comfortably against Jinyoung, one arm tossed over his middle. "Remember even before Jackson came back, it was Mark crying over how lonely he was, clearly not over their breakup. Now that Mark's feeling better, Jackson suddenly realizes he's not over him either."

"Huh, you might be right," Jaebum strokes a strand of black hair away from Jinyoung's forehead. He's only half focusing on what he's saying, more of his energy going on to adore how nice Jinyoung looks. 

"You know, I really wonder what would've happened if neither of them never got involved with Bambam," Jinyoung ponders to himself. 

"Their lives would be a lot more quiet," Jaebum snorts at his own joke. Jinyoung squints at him. 

"I'm being serious, though. If he would've stayed out from all of this, things between the two would probably have gone very differently," Jinyoung says. "He never even got anywhere with Jackson, and who knows, maybe he starts freaking out with Mark too."

"You can't really know that," Jaebum murmurs. "I heard they've doing pretty good."

"I've heard that too, but it's still Bambam we're talking about," Jinyoung says quietly. 

"Maybe you shouldn't think about it too much," Jaebum offers. He presses a kiss on the side of Jinyoung's mouth. "I know you just don't want them to get hurt, but it's their mess and they need to clean it up." Another kiss on the tip of Jinyoung's nose. "And I know you feel like they're all idiots, which they kind of are, but they know what's best for them." Finally, a kiss on Jinyoung's lips. Jinyoung kisses him back, holding his hand on the small of Jaebum's back. "And if Mark and Bambam feel like being with each other is the best for them right now, then let them do it." He says when he pulls away, soft eyes pouring into Jinyoung's.

"I hate that you always know what to say," Jinyoung murmurs against Jaebum's lips.

"See, I'm not completely useless," Jaebum nuzzles Jinyoung's cheek with his nose. "And don't worry about Jackson. He's a little emotional, sure. He's going through a lot. But he'll survive."

"I guess so. It's still hard to see them like that," Jinyoung mumbles. 

"It's hard for me to see you like that," Jaebum replies. "You're overworking yourself with school and stressing about other people's relationships way too much."

Jinyoung just frowns. Jaebum offers a kiss that Jinyoung takes gladly. 

"Can I take you home on winter break?" Jaebum suddenly asks. It's still weeks left until the seven day break from school, but Jaebum's been wanting to ask this for ages. Jinyoung blinks. "Let's spend a few nights at my parents'."

"Seriously?" Jinyoung asks. 

"Of course," Jaebum smiles. "It's time for them to meet you properly. And I want to take you away from all of this, if just for a few days."

The kiss Jaebum gets as a reply very much implies that Jinyoung's up for it.

 

 

 

Jinyoung hasn't seen Mark properly in ages so he decides to force him for a lunch date at the campus cafeteria. Mark's into the idea immediately, it's been forever since the two of them have seen each other without anyone else around. They used to be super close during their first year, before Jaebum and the youngsters joined their friend group. 

"So, how have you been doing?" Mark asks casually. It's seriously been too long.

"Same old, same old," Jinyoung sighs. "Schoolwork's drowning me. I'm glad it's only a few weeks until winter break, I seriously need a moment off."

"Are you planning on something for the break? Youngjae's taking a trip with his siblings so I'm kind of stuck home alone with Coco," Mark continues. "Not that I really mind. She's very low-maintenance, she doesn't mind if I stay up until the morning playing video games."

"We're going to Jaebum's parents' place for a few days. For the first time," a small smile plays on Jinyoung's lips. The thought of it makes him feel giddy, but extremely nervous. "I've met them once or twice, but only briefly."

"I'm guessing everything between you and Jaebum is alright?" Mark smiles. Not that there really was any drama between them. 

"As I said, same old, same old," Jinyoung smiles to himself. "But since we're on the topic, how's your relationship?"

Mark's face gains a pretty pink flush and he looks away from Jinyoung's prying eyes. "Uh. We're actually. Uh-"

"Broken up?" Jinyoung snorts.

"-Official." Mark continues. 

"Oh," Jinyoung says, feeling a little awkward. "Oh? Really? You and Bambam? Official?"

Mark nods, his face even more red. "I know what you're going to say." 

Jinyoung bites his lip. Jaebum's words resonate in his head, overpowering the things he actually wants to say. "No, no. I'm... That's good. Good that you've found each other."

"Are you alright?" Mark laughs suddenly. "Where's the judgement? Where's the trashing of Bambam? Where's the voice of reason?" Jinyoung threatens to slap Mark so he quickly apologizes. "Sorry. But thanks."

"You do seem a lot happier nowadays. I mean, compared to when Jackson came back. So I guess this is actually a good thing."

Mark quiets at the mention of Jackson. "Yeah," he says simply. 

"Actually. I know you're going to judge me for this at least, but... I feel like, I don't know. Like me and Jackson could be friends again."

Jinyoung looks at him like he had grown a second head. "Has dating Bambam really changed you that much? A few weeks ago you didn't even want to hear his name, now you want to rekindle a friendship?"

"It would benefit us all, really," Mark reasons. "I want Jackson to be a part of the group, I know the rest of you really like him. I don't want to be the one standing in the way of that."

"That's smart thinking, but still...," Jinyoung's not convinced. There's a high chance for old feelings to reappear, but again, with Jaebum's words in mind, he keeps quiet. Let them choose their own battles. 

"Don't stress about it. Just give me his Snapchat," Mark grins.

 

 

 

Jackson hasn't been feeling his best lately, he's packed up with school work and so are Jaebum and Jinyoung, which makes Jinyoung even more snappy and irritated than usually. He's been sleeping badly, hardly catching any sleep. He's tired, cranky, stressed and deprived of someone touching him. It's not even the sexual aspect of it, he just really wants someone to hold him. 

Seeing Jaebum hold Jinyoung in their kitchen that afternoon after he comes home, Jinyoung standing tensely on his place with his face on Jaebum's shoulder, Jaebum rubbing small circles and cooing sweet nothings in his ear - it definitely doesn't help how he's feeling. For a second he considers just squeezing himself between them but Jaebum's face looks serious.

"What's up?" Jackson heads to the fridge for something to eat.

"He's really tired," Jaebum says quietly. His fingers are tracing a pattern on the back of Jinyoung's shirt as he talks. "Don't worry."

Jackson frowns anyway, because it's rare to see Jinyoung showing any type of emotion besides irritation, especially like this. He peels the tangerine he found and stuffs half of it into his mouth in one go.

"I'm really tired too," he whines. Seeing them like that makes his heart burn, he wants someone to come and hold him when he's tired and stressed. Jaebum gives him a sad look and takes one of his arms from around Jinyoung to spread it out.

"Come here," he mumbles and Jackson immediately takes his place on Jaebum's other shoulder, wrapping his arm around Jinyoung and the other behind Jaebum's back. It feels nice, of course it does, but it's not exactly what he needs. He still huddles closer to the two, feeling a little creepy for thinking how nice Jaebum smells from where his face is still pressed against. 

Jaebum pulls his head back to look at the two. "Now... Jinyoung, go take a nap. Jackson, you need a shower. Be here in an hour, I'll make dinner." He gives them a small smile, patting Jackson's head and giving Jinyoung a kiss onto his forehead. 

The hot water of the shower loosens up the tense muscles in Jackson's back and shoulders as he closes his eyes under the stream. He washes his hair with the peach scented shampoo that definitely belongs to Jinyoung just to feel extra good about himself.

When he's back in his room, he notices his phone blinking. It's a Snapchat notification and upon further inspection, he notices it's because someone has just added him. It's Mark. Mark just added him on Snapchat.

His heart drops to his stomach and he stands in his place for a second, his towel hardly staying around his waist as he gapes down at his phone.

After a minute or two pass, Jackson rushes to unlock his phone and add Mark as well. Soon, Mark sends him a picture, apparently from one of the campuses libraries with a notebook in front of him and the text 'someone come do these for me' with a sad emoji attached. Jackson chuckles, relating to Mark's struggle, the textbooks look familiar since he's spent the entire with them too.

'only if you do mine' Jackson replies with a vague picture of his feet. He's not exactly sure what's happening, why is Mark messaging him and who even gave him his Snapchat, but he's not complaining. Another message blinks in and a warm feeling spreads all over him. He can't exactly pinpoint what it is, but it has definitely something to do with Mark.

Maybe they're never going to end up together again, but it seems like Mark is prompting a new start, a start at a friendship. What prompted Mark to suddenly start messaging him like this was a complete mystery to Jackson, but he was excited to find out.

 

 

 

Jinyoung wakes up from his nap with soft lips pressed against his forehead and a hand smoothing over his chest.

"The shower's free if you want to take one," Jaebum whispers quietly, careful not to disturb the comfortable silence. "The food is ready in ten minutes."

"Why are you like this?" Jinyoung mumbles, pulling Jaebum into a proper kiss. Jaebum shrugs after they pull away from each other.

"I can be nice once in a while," he grins. 

"Thanks," Jinyoung pulls Jaebum down again, this time to wrap his arms around his neck and hug him tightly. "I've had such a shit day."

"I know. You told me," Jaebum assures. Jinyoung came to their apartment soaking wet because of the rain outside, phone's screen shattered from falling onto the sidewalk and a bag full of unfinished essays that had warying deadlines from tomorrow to next week. He had barely slept the previous night, trying to cram as much information for his exam. The exam went okay, but afterwards he was so spent and exhausted that all it took was Jaebum's warm smile inside his warm apartment to break Jinyoung. 

Jaebum leaves the room after a few more kisses here and there and Jinyoung follows him to take his shower. He notices immediately that his shampoo has ran out and makes a mental note to curse out the two roommates later for using it all the time. 

Freshly showered and in comfortable clothing Jinyoung finally makes his way to the small table in the kitchen. Jackson's already there while Jaebum's busying himself by the stove, adding a final touch of something-something. 

Jackson's smiling down at his phone and Jinyoung raises an eyebrow. Even if his face was pressed against Jaebum's shoulder when Jackson came home, he did notice he was feeling pretty rough too. But the Jackson sitting in front of him was giddy, excitedly blabbering about something to Jaebum who replies with quiet hums and nods.

Jackson's phone is on the table and he's turned towards Jaebum when Jinyoung notices a notification pop up on it and even if he doesn't mean to, he accidentally reads that it's a Snapchat from Mark. He should've known, since he's the one who gave Mark Jackson's information, but he still frowns.

He doesn't really get it, why Mark would even want to start a friendship with Jackson, after all the months they've spent listening to his heartbreak. It almost feels like Mark's forgotten all about it, maybe it's the high of a new relationship with Bambam or something else, but Jinyoung's a little worried.

The way Jackson's face lights up with the notice of the notification makes Jinyoung cock his head to the side. Mark makes Jackson happy, that's clear. He hopes Jackson's even somewhat aware of Mark's intentions or the lack of them. 

"You look like you're thinking too hard," Jaebum whispers when he sets a bowl in front of Jinyoung. "Eat first. Think later."

"That could be your catchphrase," Jinyoung snorts but digs into the food, he's been starving for hours now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, i'll probably do a double post today so stay tuned~ i'm starting college tomorrow so we'll see how much time i have for fics but anyway, thanks to everyone who's read, commented, given kudos and enjoyed my writing <3


	8. Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i posted two chapters today so make sure to check both seven and eight <3

When Mark originally asked Jinyoung to give him Jackson's Snapchat it was a rather innocent gesture, only to have something more casual than a text to converse with Jackson. Something that wasn't as private and something to spark up any type of small talk between them. He just wanted to have some contact with him, just to test out if they'd be able to hold a conversation like friends would.

He didn't expect it to turn out to them messaging each other pretty much all the time, even if it was just pictures of Jaebum sleeping on Jackson's couch or videos of Coco playing in Mark's room. It wasn't really much more than that, save from the occasional message in the text chat of the application, it was very casual. But it was still Jackson he was messaging.

Everything kind of changed for him after the night he last saw Jackson. Seeing Jackson so vulnerable in front of him made Mark realize that he can't bring himself to hate him, not anymore. After all the months of telling everyone he despises him for breaking his heart, it felt like he had been lying to himself. Jackson was still the same Jackson he had once loved, nothing in him had changed. The same loud, kind, emotional Jackson he had once fallen so hard for. 

Maybe he still couldn't trust Jackson with everything he had trusted him with before, but he could try and be friends with him again, to get back even part of the Jackson that was such a huge part in his life.

Another thing that happened is lying behind him on the bed, scrolling through Instagram and double tapping everything he sees. His own phone in his hand beeps with a notification when Bambam sends him a meme through Instagram's direct messages.

"You could've just showed me that," Mark sighs, opening the undoubtedly stupid picture. "You're not even an inch away from me."

Bambam shrugs with a grin. Mark pokes him with his elbow and Bambam makes a dramatic noise, pretending to double over in pain.

Both Bambam and Mark cringed at calling each other boyfriends, but they kind of were each other's boyfriends. They never really talked about it nor did they specify being exclusive, but Mark enjoyed having a hand to hold and someone to share a bed with. It played a big part on his journey to clarity, because Bambam made him feel happy and being happy and content meant he was able to think straight. 

 

 

 

The dynamic of their friend group had definitely changed after Jackson's appearance, but it's not necessarily a bad thing. Mark just notes this, when he's preparing himself some breakfast on a Saturday morning and their doorbell rings to reveal Yugyeom, who's there to pick Youngjae and Coco up since they apparently made plans to go to the park together. They've never really hung out together that much, but neither had Mark and Bambam who now spent more time together than apart.

With the thought of Bambam, the said boy stomps out of the bathroom to come cling onto Mark, whining for some food and coffee.

"Where's Coco?" Bambam questions after a second. Mark snorts at him noticing the dog's absence first.

"Youngjae just left with Yugyeom, they went to the park with Coco," Mark hums.

"Yugyeom? That asshole came all the way over here and didn't even say hi to me? I'm unfriending him," Bambam crosses his arms. 

"We could go too? It's a pretty nice day," Mark offers. He also offers Bambam the plate he's holding so Bambam would stop begging him for food.

"It's way too cold," Bambam shivers. "I think I want to go back to bed."

"I think I could use some fresh air," Mark admits. "I'm either on my computer or in bed, I don't think I've even been properly outside in weeks."

"Can I still go back to bed?" Bambam squints. Mark laughs with a nod and Bambam squeezes his hand as a thank you before heading back to Mark's room with the food.

After he manages to cook himself some breakfast that no one else is stealing, Mark sends a quick text to Youngjae to ask whether or not he's still in the park and heads out himself, pulling on a bomber jacket and a cap to cover his bedhead. Outside, the fresh air instantly hits him. It's cold, but it feels nice. Refreshing.

The park he knows the two are is only a block away and he makes his way there quickly, already noticing the freakishly tall Yugyeom and Youngjae's colorful jacket from further away.  
He runs up to them, only to notice that Coco's nowhere near them. "Where's-" he starts but Youngjae's already pointing further away where the white fluff ball is playing with another man. Jackson.

"Oh, okay," Mark nods. "Did you invite him too?"

"He was on a run when he saw us," Yugyeom explains. "We asked him to stay for a while. I hope that's okay."

"Of course!" Mark yelps. Yugyeom raises an eyebrow. "We're uh... friends now." Practically, they're not quite friends yet, but it's easier to explain than whatever there's going on currently.

Youngjae joins Yugyeom in staring at Mark, but quickly his face lights up with a huge grin. "That's really nice," he smiles and Mark can't help but smile back.

Soon enough, Jackson carries Coco to where the three of them stand, cooing something to the puppy. Youngjae takes Coco gently from Jackson and in turn starts petting and baby talking to her.

"Hi," Jackson says to Mark who greets him back. It's a little awkward, especially when Youngjae sets Coco back onto the ground and both he and Yugyeom start running around in circles around the park to get Coco to play with them. The two stay standing there, Jackson stuffing his hands into the pockets of his sweats and Mark looking everywhere but him. Talking via social media was simple enough, but talking face to face was still tough.

"Have you prepared for the exam?" Jackson suddenly asks. He's referencing to the final of the course they're both taking that's coming up in a week or so.

Mark snorts. "Not really. There's been so much other shit to do, I haven't even opened the textbook yet," he admits. "Have you?"

"Absolutely not," Jackson laughs out loud. "I'm so spent already, I feel like I could just bullshit my way through it."

"Tell me about it," Mark agrees. A brief silence falls, but it doesn't feel so painfully awkward anymore.

"It's nice to see someone else besides Jinyoung and Jaebum once in a while," Jackson breaks the silence again. "Especially someone like those two," Jackson gestures to the two younger boys playing with Coco, screeching with loud laughter. "Quite the contrast to the old married couple I'm usually forced to hang out with."

"Yeah, they can get a bit boring on the long run," Mark smiles. "You're free to come hang out with us anytime, though."

Jackson turns to look at him with a puzzled expression. 

Mark stares back for a second before turning his gaze back towards the others. He wonders briefly whether it was too much to say that, but Jackson's talking again.

"Really?" Jackson sounds happy. "Mark, that's... that's really nice of you."

Mark feels his cheeks burning. "Yeah. Of course," Mark nods. He looks back at Jackson and the smile he's greeted with makes him feel dizzy for a second. He tries his best not to think about how much it reminds him of a night on a rooftop back then, drunk on two beers, when he told Jackson how much he liked him.

Suddenly it kind of hits him, his sole plan to bring some peace and clarity back into their friend group was a hazardous effort - growing closer with Jackson if just as friend brought back so many memories, memories he had hidden deep inside, memories he hadn't revisited in almost two years. When Jackson talked to him, when he looked at him and God forbid, when he touched him, they all made him vividly remember Jackson back then, back when he was madly in love with him. 

 

 

 

Mark kisses Bambam stupid the second he's back in his own room. He doesn't want to talk about it, he just wants to feel Bambam's hands on him, his lips on his. He just wants to feel him, he doesn't want to think about anything.

Bambam doesn't complain, he kisses him back with the same fire and helps Mark out of his clothes. He never really asks, because he knows Mark's bad at explaining whatever it is on his mind. And that's a thing Mark has always appreciated about their relationship. Bambam never got upset or mad for Mark's inability to talk. Not that Bambam himself was any better in the matter.

They're lying down in the post-coitus high, half on top of each other and sweat dripping down their naked bodies, Bambam on his phone and Mark's thoughts even more messed up than before. He runs a hand up and down Bambam's skin, but his head is full of Jackson.

He sits up but Bambam hardly flinches, just rolls over to his side with a small noise of discomfort. Mark grabs his own phone by the foot of the bed where it was tossed earlier, desperately trying to find some distraction in the apps in there.   
Unfortunately for him, all it gives him is another notification from Jackson.

It's a picture of Jackson and Jaebum who Jackson has clearly forced into his selfie. It's followed by another snap of a meal Jaebum has cooked with the text 'i have the best roommate'.

"Wow, you're already on the Snapchat stage of your friendship?" Bambam laughs suddenly and Mark almost drops his phone. He hasn't mentioned anything about Jackson to Bambam. "Send a picture of us," Bambam hurries Mark who frowns. Bambam frowns back, tilting his head. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, come here," Mark shuffles in closer so only their faces are visible. They're naked, after all. He sends the picture and tosses his phone to the side.

"You're being a little weird," Bambam notes. 

Mark nods. He probably is, but how was he supposed to explain what's going on in his head. So he leans over a presses a kiss onto Bambam's full lips. 

"Says you," he teases. Bambam melts against him and Mark's happy. Deep down, he has a feeling he should probably tell Bambam about everything, really get into the history behind him and Jackson and what's happening right now. But he's frightened, nervous about what would happen. What they have right now, it's good. It's something Mark has never really experienced and he doesn't want to let it go. 

 

 

Mark's almost out of the lecture hall when Jackson's stops him.

"Do you want to study with me? You're much better with grammar and I need some help with these," Jackson points at the sheets they were just given to fill out for the next class.

"Uh, sure," Mark says. He doesn't really have anywhere to go. 

"Yes! I'm treating you a coffee, come on," Jackson grabs his hand without a question and Mark almost freezes. He would've frozen if Jackson didn't pull him behind him to walk through the very busy hallway. Like everything with Jackson, the hand in his feels so freakishly familiar. 

They take a seat at one of the campuses cafeterias, Jackson rushing to fetch them drinks and a small bag of candy to snack on. Meanwhile, Mark tries to busy himself with the sheets, going through what it is they need to do and thinking about the points Jackson might need help with.

"I'm really glad you're doing this," Jackson grins when he sets a mug in front of Mark. "Helping me."

"It's nothing," Mark takes a sip, even if it's still too hot. 

"Not only that, though," Jackson looks deep into Mark's eyes. Mark's mouth feels dry all of the sudden. "I'm really glad you're accepting me back into your life."

"Huh?" Mark almost splutters with his coffee and quickly sets it back onto the table. He heard him, he heard him loud and clear but it's not quite registering to him. He takes a moment to breathe. "I mean... It's no problem. It's been a while already. Time to move on." It's not exactly what he means but they're in the middle of a busy cafeteria with tons of people around. Besides, it's impossible to explain what's really going on inside his head. Jackson did break his heart a long time ago and it's something Jackson shouldn't forget, but on the other hand he really wants them to get along again. 

Jackson looks a little sad for a second but smiles again.   
"Yeah. Maybe we shouldn't talk about that now."

"Agreed," Mark says very quietly. "What was it that you needed help with?"

Jackson spreads out the papers and some of his own notes onto the table and they get lost into the not-so-interesting world of English grammar, something Mark's pretty good at but it still doesn't stop it from being boring.

Mark keeps stealing glances of Jackson, so focused writing on the paper. He admits that it's a little creepy, but he studies his face, his posture, everything. He's only pretending to scribble something into his own notebook so it wouldn't be so obvious that he's staring.

Jackson straightens up and stretches himself and Mark's eyes travel to his arms flexing above his head. 

"I think I'm done for now, I'm hungry," Jackson mumbles through a yawn. "And tired."

"We got off to a good start," Mark agrees. "You can message me if you need any more help."

"I think I'll survive, but seriously, thank you Mark," Jackson pats Mark's hand on the table casually. 

"You can message me anyway," Mark mumbles, almost inaudible but Jackson catches it. He gives Mark a strange look but smiles anyway.

"I will," Jackson finishes with a grin.


	9. Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've survived my first week of college and i'm here again~ i only have a couple of chapters left of this story and i'll try to put them out in the following weeks

"So, you and Youngjae," Jinyoung starts after finishing the sentence he was typing on his laptop. They're at one of the campuses libraries to study, Youngjae was at the campus studio and Jaebum had tagged along with Bambam for an extra photography lecture. Jackson and Mark were still in class, but Mark's was about to be over in a few minutes and he had promised to join them eventually.

"Huh?" Yugyeom raises his head up from his notes, a puzzled expression on his face.

"You're spending a lot of time together nowadays," Jinyoung tries to sound as casual as possible. Yugyeom cocks his eyebrow.

"Um, yeah, we started this game together," Yugyeom says. "I've been at his place to play it."

"Ah. Have you still been sleeping together?" Jinyoung teases, referencing to the picture still frequently talked about in their group chat. Yugyeom's face grows a shade redder. 

"That happened once," Yugyeom whines. "It was too cold for him to sleep on the couch, you know how cold it is in our apartment."

"He couldn't have slept in Bambam's room? He wasn't there, was he?" Jinyoung's words make Yugyeom pretty much squirm in his seat. "Or were you a little lonely? You haven't been on a date with a girl in ages, have you?"

"What the hell are you even talking about?" Yugyeom says a bit too loud, causing a few other students around the library's reading hall to look at him.

"Why are you so nervous?" he asks, which in turn makes Yugyeom act even weirder. "I'm just teasing."

Yugyeom rolls his neck and crosses his arms, giving Jinyoung a pathetic glare. "He's nice to hang out with. He mostly just talks about video games and Coco, he doesn't really care about all this drama going on. And I'm not even into guys."

"You don't even know how many guys I've slept with have told me that," it's Mark's voice suddenly from behind Yugyeom's back. Jinyoung laughs out loud, agreeing with a nod. 

"Ew, Mark," Yugyeom whines.

"Honestly, the amount of 'straight'," Mark makes quotation marks with his fingers. "- guys that ended up having sex with me anyway... It's a lot."

"A lot of people experiment in college and still end up marrying a girl eventually," Jinyoung points out, earning an agreeing hum from Mark.

"Where did this conversation even start from?" Mark asks in the middle of it.

"I just asked him about Youngjae," Jinyoung says innocently. Yugyeom shakes his head.

"Oh? Is that why he has barely been at home anymore?" Mark teases when he notices Yugyeom blushing. 

"Stop it, you're awful," Yugyeom whines and kicks his feet below the table. "I'm not into guys and I don't think he is either, so you need to stop."

"He is," Mark and Jinyoung answer in unison, freaking Yugyeom out a little. 

"Whatever, we were supposed to be studying," Yugyeom huffs, agressively turning his head back into his notes and scribbling out nonsense so it'd look like he was studying. His ears feel hot from just thinking about the topic at hand. He can't help but wonder whether or not they're teasing him because there's something they know about him and Youngjae that he's not aware of.

 

 

Mark's actually trying to cram in some information when Bambam leans against him, his entire body weight on Mark, batting his eyelashes and smiling dumbly. He wants attention. Mark sets down his book with a sigh, wrapping his free arm around Bambam's shoulders.

"We should go out," Bambam states. Mark cocks his head to the side. In the midst of all the studying, a bottle of vodka downed in one go sounded amazing. But he had his responsibilities.

"I have a really important exam tomorrow," Mark mentions. "But after that? Let's invite everyone."

Bambam looks like he's thinking really hard. "I have an exam the day after that."

"Like that has ever stopped you from getting drunk," Mark scoffs. Bambam rolls his eyes but laughs. Bambam's still doing surprisingly well with his grades, at least when the effort he's putting in them is being looked at. 

"Okay, let's do it," Bambam grins, tackling Mark onto the bed. "It's not that important anyway."

"I don't understand how you're getting by with an attitude like that," Mark laughs in the midst of sloppy kisses.

"I'm a natural talent, I guess," Bambam shrugs. "Should we ask the others if they're up for it?"

"Sure, message the group chat, I'll go ask Youngjae," Mark nods and gets up from the bed. He makes his way to Youngjae's room, knocks on the door just to make sure and heads in when there's a voice telling him it's okay. Youngjae's on his computer, playing a game.

"We're thinking of going out tomorrow, do you want to come?"   
Youngjae pauses his game and turns back to look at Mark.  
He purses his lips together, looking like he's thinking really hard. "I don't know...," he admits with a sigh. "I still have a couple of exams left. I feel like I'm going to pass."

"Ah, alright," Mark walks closer to Youngjae. "Maybe some other time. Did anyone else reply in the group yet?" Mark gestures towards Youngjae's phone. His own is back in his room. Youngjae opens his screen and glances through the chat.

"You two, Jinyoung, Jackson and Jaebum," Youngjae lists. 

"So Yugyeom can't come?" Mark questions.

"Seems like it. He said he has to wake up early for work," Youngjae reads Yugyeom's reply out loud. Then, he starts furiously typing in a message. When Mark gives him a questioning look, Youngjae grins. 

"I'm asking him to come over so we can finish our game. There's only a level or two to pass and I want it played through before my trip."

 

 

 

"I'm going now," Mark yells from the door. All he gets as a response are somewhat coherent grunts, the two younger boys already too deep in their game to even notice him leaving. "Bye!"

"Yeah, bye bye," Youngjae mumbles when Mark's already left. He's huddled close to Yugyeom, munching on the ice cream Yugyeom surprised him with. Yugyeom's arm is casually thrown over Youngjae's shoulders so it's easier for them to play together, without anyone's arms blocking the way from the other. The position is quite intimate, but it's the way they've been playing ever since they started the game and it didn't really bother either of them.

Except now. 

When Youngjae's hair is tickling his chin and his body warmth radiating onto his side, Yugyeom starts to wonder whether Jinyoung, Mark or anyone who kept teasing him about Youngjae knew or saw something more than he did. 

He hadn't even thought about Youngjae's sexual orientation, because Youngjae never talked about it, he had never had a significant other or even a date during the time Yugyeom had known him. There seemed to be no awkward history between him and any of his friends. But now he knows, he knows that Youngjae likes boys and reflecting back on their relationship during the past few weeks - it feels like Youngjae might like a boy, a boy called Yugyeom. 

He can't be sure, but Youngjae seems cling onto Yugyeom every time they're alone together. Small hugs and touches here and there, grabbing onto Yugyeom's arm outside, acting cute, wanting to sit as close as it is possible to sit. Maybe that night when he slept over he wasn't even cold, maybe he just wanted to sleep next to Yugyeom.

Yugyeom focuses onto Youngjae's face, scrunched up as he tries his best to keep the stylus in his hand stable. Youngjae's tongue peeks out to lick his lips and Yugyeom tries not to look but he can't stop himself.

He's never been attracted to a boy. He might've stared at Jinyoung's butt a bit too long on multiple occasions and yeah, maybe he did want to see Jinyoung and Jaebum make out during truth or dare, but so did everyone else because it was hot to look at. But he's never really been attracted to a single boy.  
He had to admit, Youngjae looked adorable like this. He's cuddled up in a big hoodie, the sleeves too long for his arms. He's warm, he smells good and Yugyeom suddenly doesn't know what to think.

 

 

 

"Can you dance?" Yugyeom asks when he brings their dirty dishes into the small kitchen of Youngjae and Mark's apartment. 

"Not really," Youngjae leans against the wall. They've finished their game and decided to cook something small to eat. Youngjae did most of the cooking, so Yugyeom offered to clean up.   
There's a radio playing quietly in the kitchen, Yugyeom turned it on because he likes to listen to music while he cleans. He managed to shake the strange thoughts out of his head to finish the game properly, even if having Youngjae so close to him made his heart thump faster than it should.

"This is a good song," Yugyeom hums to himself. He starts shaking his hips in a funny way, causing Youngjae to burst out in laughter. He's feeling relaxed, even if there's a strange tenseness around the room. 

"I can do that," Youngjae nods and copies Yugyeom's movement, maybe not as smoothly, but a thousand times more cute. 

"Nice," Yugyeom grins. "What about this?"

Yugyeom shows a flashy arm movement, ending it with a body roll. Youngjae claps excitedly. He tries to copy it, but ends up failing miserably. Yugyeom laughs loudly.

"Cute," Yugyeom smiles. Youngjae smiles back and Yugyeom melts a little.

Yugyeom starts jamming to the song again and Youngjae joins him, taking cautious steps to dance closer to Yugyeom. It's almost like they're at the club, the soft pop song playing in the background as they dance and laugh. Youngjae reaches out to take one of Yugyeom's hands into his and Yugyeom's heart jumps up to his throat. Youngjae's done that before, too, but Yugyeom can't help but think if there was something behind it that Youngjae didn't say out loud. He comes closer, a small smile playing on his lips as he looks up at Yugyeom. It really does look like a scene from a club, a scene Yugyeom's lived through many times. Dancing with a girl, shy touches, casual flirting, fire in Yugyeom's stomach. But now, there wasn't any girl, there was just Youngjae in Youngjae's small kitchen with quiet music but the same fire appears inside of Yugyeom. 

It feels so intimate, so intoxicating, like he wants Youngjae to take that last step just to see what happens. He wants to know what happens when Youngjae comes closer. 

Youngjae's hand finds it way onto Yugyeom's hip. His tongue wets his lips again. Yugyeom doesn't even care what he's doing when he leans down to press a kiss onto Youngjae's lips.

Youngjae freezes completely and Yugyeom pulls away instantly. Youngjae's eyes are wide and his hand shaking in Yugyeom's and Yugyeom realizes what he just did.

"Oh my God, I'm so, so, so, sor-"

He's interrupted by Youngjae's lips on his. And Youngjae's hand in his hair. And Youngjae pulling him closer so they're flush against each other. 

Yugyeom's hands find their way to cup Youngjae's face in them and he can feel Youngjae's other hand fist into the fabric of his hoodie. Youngjae's lips are so, so soft. His hands feel like they're exactly where they need to be.

When they pull apart for air, Youngjae doesn't even look at him, just pushes his face into Yugyeom's shoulder. He's laughing, but he's clearly embarrassed. 

"Why did you do that?" he mumbles against Yugyeom's hoodie.

"Because you didn't," Yugyeom answers quietly. Youngjae pulls away, face red, just to stare at Yugyeom.

"Um..." he snorts. "What?"

Yugyeom suddenly feels like an idiot. 

"I didn't know you liked boys," Youngjae looks amused. He's still clinging onto Yugyeom. 

"I don't," Yugyeom feels mortified. "I thought you had a crush on me."

"Not... Not really," Youngjae laughs. He looks embarrassed too, but he can't be feeling as stupid as Yugyeom is. 

To really think about it, Youngjae's always been clingy and affectionate. He's always hugging someone, holding hands, squeezing butts and they don't mean anything. They've only been forced to spend time together because their roommates are doing whatever the fuck they're doing. And that one night... it was Yugyeom who asked him to cuddle, not Youngjae.

"I'm so sorry," Yugyeom can't even look at Youngjae. 

"Why?" Youngjae uses his hand to turn Yugyeom's face towards his. "I did kiss you back, you giant idiot."

Yugyeom stares at him with eyes wide, not really catching on.   
"Why?" is all he musters.

"Because you're a good kisser?" Youngjae replies with a small laugh. "And it was nice. We could do it again."

"It was nice," Yugyeom admits out loud. He's not feeling nearly as terrible, not when Youngjae's hand squeezes his hip and the other smooths over his cheek. He doesn't really know what this is, what the hell is happening but he does know that Youngjae's lips are really soft and he could probably kiss them again.

 

 

 

Mark stumbles home drunk off his mind, scaring the hell out of both Youngjae and Yugyeom - who's still in their apartment. Even if he's fallen asleep in Youngjae's bed, they never really did anything more besides a shy kiss here or there and accidentally fell asleep on Youngjae's duvet, fully clothed. 

Mark literallly stumbles into Youngjae's bed, right in the middle of the two boys. Yugyeom springs up when Mark throws himself between them, realizing he had been asleep and it's way past the time he was supposed to be home.

"Mark," Youngjae says calmly. He's sitting up too, rubbing his tired eyes with his fingers. "You're in the wrong bed."

"Can I stay here?" Mark slurs, face in Youngjae's pillows.

"Not really," Youngjae glances at Yugyeom in the dark. "It's already full."

Mark doesn't even note this at first. Yugyeom gives a look at Youngjae in the dark.

"What?" Mark then lifts his head to look at Yugyeom who's eyes widen. Youngjae's trying to hold his laughter in. "Oh." He rolls over, closer to Youngjae. "I have a secret."

Youngjae raises an eyebrow. "Tell me," he whispers. Mark leans even closer.

"I think I really miss Jackson." This causes both Youngjae and Yugyeom to stare at each other with wide eyes, Yugyeom clasping a hand over his mouth. 

"You what?" Youngjae hisses, sitting up properly. "Exactly what happened tonight?"

"We were... out at this club...," Mark starts. "Nothing... Nothing really happened."

"Okay, you just happened to realize you really miss Jackson?" Youngjae snorts.

Mark replies with an incoherent groan and suddenly he's snoring. He's passed out. Youngjae sighs. Yugyeom pats his shoulder, reaching over Mark's limp body.

"I guess he's sleeping here, then," Youngjae pushes his blanket onto Mark and gets up from the bed. "Come on," he ushers Yugyeom out too. 

"I should probably head home," Yugyeom whispers. He doesn't want to wake Mark up, even if it would be near impossible given that he's passed out cold.

Something flashes in Youngjae's eyes but he nods. "Sure," he pulls Yugyeom by his hand to the doorway. He watches Yugyeom put on his shoes and coat and before he can open the door, he grabs his hand again.

Yugyeom stares at their interlocked hands and cocks his head to the side and before he can really ask about it, Youngjae's lips connect onto his cheek. Yugyeom freezes for a second, but then slowly turns his head so their lips meet again in a gentle kiss. He can feel Youngjae smiling. 

"I know we finished the game already," Youngjae whispers when they pull away a few seconds later. "But I'd really like if we still hung out together."

Yugyeom squeezes Youngjae's hand in his. "I'd really like that too."


	10. Ten

Mark's head hurts, his stomach twists and his whole body aches with his hangover. He honestly feels like he'd been ran over by a truck. Maybe he was, he doesn't really have much of a memory of anything that had happened last night, especially the part where he had found his way into Youngjae's bed. He instantly notices he's not in his own when he wakes up, but the familiar colorful bedsheets give it away that he's only a room away from his own. He sighs with relief, after everything that went on last night, it could have been an entirely different bed he could be in.

Sitting up is too much of a hassle, so he crawls in the bed until he reaches his phone by the end of it. His battery is almost dead and there are around six thousand messages from Bambam, all the way to the time stamp of 4 a.m. where Yugyeom had apparently came home and informed him that Mark's alive and sleeping. After that, Bambam's sent him a flurry of heart emojis and kissy faces.

There are messages from other people too, there's Jackson's 'where did u go?', Jinyoung's 'what the hell did u do?' and Jaebum's 'jinyoung and jackson are looking for you. i'd hide'.  
He groans, skillfully ignoring all the messages and setting his phone next to him. 

A lot had happened in the last twenty four hours, a lot he'd rather not think or talk about. A lot that he didn't even recall. A lot that should've been left unhappened.

The vivid memory of his lips on Jackson's after what felt like years is the one that keeps on pushing into his mind as much as he wants to put it back where it came from. It wasn't supposed to happen, but Bambam had drank himself sick, forcing the parental figures Jinyoung and Jaebum to drag him to the bathroom - leaving behind Mark and Jackson by themselves. The burn of the large amount of alcohol Mark had consumed up to that point made him dizzy but it made him want to dance and there was no one else left but Jackson. One thing lead to another, a particularly nasty song came on and soon there wasn't anything separating their bodies from one another. 

It was almost like Mark had forgotten it was Jackson in front of him, all he felt was a hot, sweaty body that he wanted to touch. And the kiss went on for a long while until he realized what he was doing, until he pushed Jackson away and ran after the trio to the bathroom.

After that, he dragged them along to have some shots. More shots. More drinks. Anything to try and cleanse himself from what he had just done. Jackson had joined them like nothing ever happened and Mark made sure he made a show of pressing himself against Bambam, as if to prove everyone how together they are. 

No matter the blur in his head caused by the alcohol, there was the feeling of how familiar and how amazing it had felt. How much he wanted to do it again.

Mark groans again. He squeezes his eyes shut. 

He has to tell Bambam. But first he has to figure out how to come back to life from his current state of death.

 

 

Mark hadn't noticed falling asleep until Youngjae comes back into his own room with a bottle of cola and a painkiller, carefully waking up Mark to give them to him.

"Thanks," Mark accepts then with glee, his head still pounding like someone had hit him with a hammer. "And sorry."

"It's nothing," Youngjae offers. "I went grocery shopping and figured you might need something too. There's food ready if you want to eat."

"I don't deserve you," Mark says and swallows the painkiller with a generous amount of the drink. Youngjae smiles, but he's looking around nervously. There's something on his mind.

"You told me something last night," Youngjae starts, petting Mark's very messy hair gently as Mark leans back onto the pillow. "You don't need to talk about this because I know you never want to talk about anything but... You told us- me, you told me you miss Jackson."

"Huh," Mark opens one eye. "Did I?"

Youngjae nods. "Did something happen last night?"

As much as Mark just wants to say he doesn't remember anything, the concerned way Youngjae's staring down at him makes him feel bad. He can't keep on lying to everyone, pretending that everything's fine when there's so much unsolved stuff going on. 

"We... kissed. Me and Jackson kissed," Mark says quietly. "It was an accident. We were drunk."

"Ah, okay," Youngjae says calmly. "Was it really?"

Mark's taken aback by Youngjae's question. His mouth feels insanely dry. "The kiss was. But there's a lot more... I don't even know what to say."

"You don't need to say anything if you don't want to," Youngjae smiles as he lies down next to Mark. Mark cuddles deeper into the blanket and Youngjae throws a casual arm over him. 

He doesn't say anything, because he honestly has no idea what to say. And even if he did, Youngjae wouldn't probably understand. There was probably no one who would understand him.  
The kiss between him and Jackson was the last straw that finally broke Mark into realizing he was catching the same feelings for Jackson that Jackson still seemed to harbor for him. It was a drunken accident and if it wasn't for Bambam and his loyalty for him, it would've been so much more. On the other hand, Mark's grateful he didn't do something stupid while drunk, but on the other, it felt good, it felt intoxicating, it felt like it was something that needed to happen. 

He knows it shouldn't have happened, though. He agreed that he'd keep his distance and that he wouldn't get involved with Jackson again. But there he was, lips feeling like they still burned from the way Jackson kissed him.

Mark leans his head against Youngjae's, sighing deeply.

"It's okay," Youngjae comforts with a pat on Mark's stomach.

"Thanks," Mark murmurs. "Sorry for sleeping in your bed."

"It's fine," Youngjae grins. "Your bed is bigger anyway."

Mark suddenly gets a vivid memory of stumbling into Youngjae's bed and it's almost like he remembers there being a third person in the room.

"Were you alone last night?" Mark asks. Youngjae quiets down. Mark can't see his face, but just the body language tells him a lot.

"Yeah," Youngjae replies. 

"Are you sure? I think I remember hearing someone else's voice too," Mark questions further. He's not sure, but it isn't like him to hallucinate, no matter how drunk.

"I'm amazed you remember anything," Youngjae snorts, avoiding the subject. Mark drops it, even if it makes him a little suspicious.

 

 

"I kissed Jackson when we were out."

Bambam doesn't really react. Just cocks his head to the side, finger absentmindedly tracing patterns on Mark's arm.

"Huh," is all he says. He doesn't look hurt. He doesn't look sad or upset. He does take a sharp breath before saying anything more. "A kiss isn't that big of a deal. We've never really set out any ground rules to begin with. You were drunk."

Mark swallows very nervously, hands shaky. He decided to tell Bambam as soon as he sees him. Two days passed, one of them Mark was completely bedbound because of his hungover and the next full of school, but there he was now, on Mark's bed with Bambam sitting next to him. 

"What if... What if I could've just as well done it sober?" he bites his lip and doesn't dare to look at Bambam for a long while. Bambam doesn't say anything, letting an uncomfortable silence fall into the room.

"What do you mean by that?" Bambam inquires. Again, he doesn't sound sad. He doesn't sound angry. He sounds like Bambam always sounds when he's asking someone something. 

Mark finally dares to look up. There's a hint of a smile playing on Bambam's lips.

"I have feelings for Jackson."

The words feel utterly impossible to choke out, they're something Mark hasn't even admitted to himself. Bambam's hand travels down to grab Mark's. 

"If that's how you feel, then that's how you feel," Bambam whispers. "I've enjoyed whatever this was we had, but I can't force you into anything if it's not what you really want."

Mark's gaze finds Bambam's eyes, finally showing a sign of emotion. There's the small playful smile on Bambam's lips, but his eyes look glazed over. Mark bites back anything that's about to leave his mouth because in all honesty, he has no idea what to say.

"That's not what I mean," is what Mark finally manages to say after the silence had fallen again. "I don't want to let you go."

Bambam's eyebrows knit together as he stares at Mark. Mark stares back, hoping that Bambam would understand everything just by staring at him. 

"This... The thing we've built together, I've never had anything like this," Mark says quietly. "You make me happy."

Bambam's lips turn into a shy grin, fingers squeezing Mark's hand tighter. "You make me happy, too," he mumbles.

"But Jackson. I can't help what I'm feeling, I can't stop this, no matter how much I've tried. I've done everything a man can do to stop myself from falling for him, but I can't help it," Mark murmurs, leaning closer to Bambam. He lets out a long, desperate sigh and Bambam sets a hand on his hair.

"It's alright," he soothes. "It's alright Mark."

"I don't know what to do," Mark whispers. "I seriously have no idea what I'm going to do."

"Maybe you should take some time by yourself," Bambam suggests quietly. "I think it would do you good. You need to clear your mind."

"You're probably right," Mark replies. "For once."

"You asshole," Bambam mutters. He nuzzles his face closer to Mark's.

"Don't go just yet, though," Mark murmurs. "Stay with me for a while."

"Of course," Bambam wraps his arms around Mark's lithe body, pulling him even closer. 

 

 

 

Mark appears at the apartment late at night, like it seems everyone always chooses to pay their visits. Jinyoung's frowning at him, ready to scold him but Jaebum shuts him off quietly, whispering something Mark doesn't catch.

Jackson had known he was coming and he finds him sitting on his bed, fumbling nervously with his pillow in his lap. 

"Hey," Mark greets. It's three days after the kiss and all they've talked after that was the message Mark sent him an hour ago, telling him he's coming over to talk.

"Hi," Jackson says very quietly. Mark takes a seat next to him on the bed. They don't dare to touch each other, even if Mark kind of feels like he should.

"The kiss," Mark states. He takes a moment to gather his thoughts into a coherent sentence. "It was an accident."

"Ah," Jackson nods, a hint of dissappointment in his voice. 

"I was really drunk. I guess you were too," Mark explains. He desperately wants to say the things he told Youngjae and Bambam but it's so hard to make them come out of his mouth now that it's Jackson in front of him. 

"Yeah," Jackson's avoiding his eyes. 

"But in all honesty," Mark starts again. "I would've done it eventually anyway."

Jackson tenses, eyes turning back to stare directly into Mark's.

"What?" Jackson blinks. "You what?"

Mark feels his face grow red. "Don't make me say it again."

"I want you to say it again, Mark," Jackson abrutly stands up. He tosses his pillow to whatever corner of his room, eyes fierce. "Do you mean that?"

Mark feels awkward and uncomfortable, but he nods. Jackson's face bursts into a giant grin, taking a hold of both of Mark's shoulders, squeezing lightly. But Mark doesn't smile. He only stares blankly towards Jackson's legs in front of him.

"Why do you look like that?" Jackson's confused. 

"Because I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do now," Mark mumbles. Jackson's hands leave his shoulders.

"Why?" Jackson asks. He sits back down.

"I'm torn. Torn between you and Bambam," Mark nods. He turns to look at Jackson, studying the expression on his face. "I just wanted to let you know how I feel in person. But I don't know. I need some time."

"Alright," Jackson says, his smile already gone.  
Mark stands up, squeezing Jackson's arm quickly.

"I'm going to take some time for myself. I'll be fine, just... Don't contact me for a while. I'll call you."

"Mark," Jackson follows in his steps and grabs his arm. "Don't."

"I need time," Mark sighs, looking down at Jackson's hand. "Let me go."

"Will you be okay?" Jackson looks more concerned than anything and Mark kind of understands him. He's been sleeping badly, he doesn't really care what he puts on and how he looks. 

"I hope," Mark murmurs and pulls his hand away.

 

 

 

A little while after Mark's left, Jackson joins the couple still chilling in the livingroom and Jinyoung gives him a long, questioning look. 

"What happened?" he asks and Jackson shrugs. "He didn't stay for very long. He didn't even say anything to us when he left."

"Long story short, Mark... uh," Jackson swallows what he's about to say and plops himself onto the floor. "I don't know. I guess he kind of told me he's... into me?"

Jinyoung bites the inside of his cheek. He wants to say something but is physically stopping himself from letting out anything stupid. Jaebum takes the hint to say something instead. "So are you and him...?"

"Oh, no, no," Jackson shakes his head vigorously. "He doesn't want to break up with Bambam. Not yet, at least. He just wanted to tell me how he feels. After that he kind of... left. Told me not to contact him."

Jinyoung instantly reaches for his phone on the table but Jaebum grabs his arm, giving him a stern look.

"Maybe it's better none of us bother him for a while," Jaebum reminds. "He'll call you if he needs your help."

Jinyoung sighs but loosens the hold on his phone. 

"How do you feel?" Jinyoung turns to look at Jackson. 

"Better than you probably think I do," Jackson shoots them a genuine smile. "Even if he chooses to stay with Bambam... I'm happy we've gotten this far. We're friends again. That's all I really wanted. And I got to kiss him."

Jinyoung shakes his head with a small smile. "Well. I'm happy if you're happy."

"I'm just a little worried for him. He's taking this so heavy," Jackson sighs. "He looked awful. Like he hadn't slept in weeks."

"You're right," Jinyoung agrees. "Maybe it's better he takes a break from all of us."

"We all need a break," Jaebum snorts. "It's been a real struggle of a fall."

"Definitely," Jackson nods. "Are you excited for your trip?" he grins with a glint in his eye. Jaebum smiles widely and Jinyoung's cheeks flush red. 

"I don't know about him, but I'm really happy I get to see my five cats again," Jaebum's eyes turn into slits as he smiles even bigger.


	11. Eleven

Bambam and a wine bottle appear at their apartment at noon, earning an eye roll from Yugyeom. Yugyeom's no stranger to day drinking, but there's not really a reason to drink on that particular day. 

"It's noon," he points out when Bambam pours himself a generous glass of the drink. He leaves the red wine onto the counter and takes steps to reach the couch where Yugyeom's lounging.

"I deserve this," Bambam nods to himself. He snakes himself to sit next to Yugyeom.

"I don't know what makes you think that but I assure you, you most definitely do not deserve that," Yugyeom laughs in disbelief. 

"Listen," Bambam points out a finger. "I did well in most of my exams. I only bombed like two. Mark told me he has feelings for his ex-boyfriend. And my mom's cat just had kittens. I deserve this."

"Wait, what the fuck?" Yugyeom splutters, only catching onto that. "Mark did what?"

"Told me he has feelings for Jackson," Bambam repeats. He seems strangely nonchalant considering the topic. "They hooked up at the club."

"So did you two-"

"Break up? No, because he also told me he doesn't want to leave me," Bambam shrugs. Yugyeom gives him a wild look, not really catching on. "Trust me, I'm just as confused as you are."

"Okay," Yugyeom looks at him weirdly. "How are you so chill about this?"

Bambam looks up at the ceiling. "I kind of knew it would happen. I just didn't know when. Also, he hasn't made his decision yet, so there's no reason to be upset. Yet."

Yugyeom snorts at the logic only Bambam could possess. 

"So why the wine then?" Yugyeom asks. 

Bambam rolls his eyes. "If he calls me today telling me that we're done, being already drunk is going to make it easier to handle."

"Are you sure?" Yugyeom's laughing and Bambam cracks a smile too. "That's the stupidest excuse I've ever heard. Even from you."

Bambam swats him lightly. "Enough about me. Who are you texting? You're checking your phone every ten seconds, who is it?" Bambam tries to sneak a look but Yugyeom moves his phone away from his prying eyes. "Who is it? Tell me?!" he whines but Yugyeom moves further away from him.

"No one," Yugyeom mutters with a stupid smile on his face as he replies. 

"Is it the girl you spent your night at when we were out?" Bambam wiggles his eyebrows and tries to grab Yugyeom's phone, but the younger's arms are way longer. "I was wasted but don't think I don't remember coming home at four."

"It's no one," Yugyeom repeats. Bambam's not buying it.

"I tell you every detail of my relationships and you refuse to tell me who you're texting," Bambam pouts and crosses his arms.

"To be fair, I don't ask you to tell me about your relationships," Yugyeom points out. "It's just a friend."

"You don't text friends like that," Bambam squints. "It's a girl."

"It's not a girl," Yugyeom sighs.

"So, it's a boy?" Bambam snorts. 

"It's a friend," Yugyeom puts weight on the last word. "I'm texting a friend. Stop being annoying."

Bambam rolls his eyes and takes a sip of his almost-forgotten wine. "I can't stop, it's a personality trait."

 

 

 

Bambam's downed two full glasses of wine and Yugyeom's returned back to his own room when there's someone at their door. Before Yugyeom can come out, Bambam's already at the door, opening it to Youngjae - adorably wrapped in a big scarf.

"Hey?" Bambam questions and hiccups. 

"You're drunk," Youngjae deadpans. "It's not even two."

"You're drunk," Bambam pretends to slur and Youngjae snorts. "Why are you here?"

"Can't a guy come see his friends without being questioned about it?" Youngjae huffs and pushes in. "Yugyeom asked me to come."

Bambam raises an eyebrow. "So you're the one he was texting," he puts a forefinger onto his lips. Youngjae eyes him with a faint blush on his cheeks. It might also be because of the chilly wind outside, but Bambam likes to think it's because he's embarrassed about something.

Yugyeom finally emergences from his room and he stands in front of Youngjae, the two eyeing each other wildly. Bambam looks between them, looks at Yugyeom's twitching hands and Youngjae's tense body.

"Okay, what the hell is going on?" he asks, pointing at them with his mostly empty wine glass. "This," he gestures between them. "Is really weird."

"Nothing!" they yell in unison and Bambam looks at them even weirder.

"Sure, sure," he rolls his eyes and sips on his wine. "I'm going to get to the bottom of this, eventually." Bambam walks back to the sofa and pats it with his free hand, signaling the two to sit down.

"We were actually going to-"

"Do what?" Bambam says with a suggestive smile, making the two squirm. He has no idea what's going on, but he wants to find out. "Come sit down with me. I need life advice."

"And you think we're capable of giving you advice?" Youngjae laughs but sits next to Bambam anyway. Yugyeom gives up too, squeezing himself really close to Youngjae. 

Bambam's face falls serious, or as serious it can get given how tipsy he is. "It's about Mark. I've been drinking and I've been... thinking," there's a collective snort after his stupid rhyme. "Stop laughing. Anyways, I'm guessing Youngjae already knows that Mark and Jackson kind of... Hooked up. And now he's into him again."

"Well, he didn't tell me that last part, but yeah," Youngjae nods, hand on his chin. 

"The thing is... He told me that he doesn't want to leave me even if he's into him again, but he also kind of implied he doesn't want to let Jackson go either," Bambam says, a bit more serious again. "We agreed that both me and Jackson will give him some time to think, but you guys know Mark... Leaving him alone to dwell on his own thoughts will help none."

Yugyeom and Youngjae both look at him with empathetic expressions on their faces. 

"So, what should I do?" Bambam ponders, tapping on his chin. The other two look at each other.

"Probably ask someone who actually knows anything?" Yugyeom offers with a laugh. "Like Jinyoung. He's smart."

"Yeah, he's smart. But he's also mean, he's going to tell me that I'm an idiot and that's probably all the advice I'll get out of him. And don't even suggest Jaebum, he knows as much about these things as his cats do," Bambam sighs.

"Then maybe just let Mark have his time and have a discussion when he's ready. All three of you," Yugyeom suggests. 

"Or maybe the three of you just need to fuck each other," Youngjae laughs as a joke. Yugyeom laughs too, but instantly stops when he notices Bambam isn't laughing. Bambam's considering it. Yugyeom panics. 

"No, Bam, no, it was a joke," he fusses instantly, but Bambam's brows are knitted together and his lips pursed, finger tapping on them. He then stands up and sets his now empty wine glass next to the couch. 

"Thank you," he bows to Youngjae as he disappears into his room. 

Yugyeom's wide eyes stare at Youngjae, who looks back, trying to act innocent.

"Look what you did, Youngjae," Yugyeom lets out an overdramatic sigh and Youngjae pats his thigh as an apology. 

 

 

 

 

When Jaebum yells that Jackson has a visitor, he's almost hoping it'd be Mark. The discussion they had has been playing on repeat in his head for days now and he's heard nothing out from Mark.

Instead, it's Bambam in their doorway, and Jackson doesn't even know what to say to Jaebum who keeps staring at the two of them.

"I want to talk," Bambam offers. "To Jackson."

"Alright," Jackson nods and leads Bambam out of the doorway and into his room, away from the very confused Jaebum.

"What's up?" He asks back in his room. He's almost as confused as Jaebum was.

"It's about Mark. We need to talk about him," Bambam nods, taking a seat on Jackson's bed. He's casual, cool. He spreads his legs in front of him.

"I figured," Jackson sits next to him, very curious. "Is he alright?"

"He's in a bit of a ditch right now," Bambam's studying his nails, looking almost bored. "So I'm here to propose something."

Jackson's definitely intrigued. 

"I told him he should take some time off of us. He needs time to think. I don't think it's going to help any, he's terrible at these things," Bambam explains. "So. I know this sounds insane," Bambam takes a deep breath. "But maybe we shouldn't force him to choose."

Jackson's eyebrows near his hairline. "What? What do you mean?" Jackson kind of catches what Bambam's talking about, but he feels he's not hearing right. Bambam can't seriously be suggesting-

"A threesome."

Jackson's face makes Bambam burst out laughing. Jackson keeps on staring, until Bambam sets a hand onto his shoulder.

"You and Mark have fucked. Me and Mark have fucked. You and me have fucked," Bambam lists. "I'm definitely up for it. I feel like me and you have some unfinished business anyway."

"Huh...," Jackson weighs the option in his head, seriously thinking about what Bambam's saying. "I guess. I mean... why not?"

"Great," Bambam sits up straight and presses a kiss onto Jackson's cheek, shocking Jackson while doing so. "Don't act so coy, you better get used to it."

"Is Mark alright with this?" Jackson suddenly asks. 

"I haven't asked. We could surprise him," Bambam wiggles his eyebrows. "He's been home alone for a couple of days now."

"You think he'd be up for it?" Jackson ponders.

"Honestly, I don't know. But I'm tired of all of this, I'm tired of him being so down all the time. I want to help him."

"I feel you," Jackson murmurs. "So how do we go on about this?"

Bambam shrugs. "I got this idea wine drunk yesterday, I didn't figure out the details just yet."

"Are you actually serious about this?" Jackson's still unsure.

"I mean, yeah," Bambam replies. "He can't choose. And why does he need to? If you're okay with this, he can have both."

"I know a lot of your friends say that you're stupid, but I think you might be some kind of a genius," Jackson pats Bambam's shoulder. 

"Finally I'm getting the credit I deserve," Bambam grins. "Also, I knew you'd agree. I knew you were into these type of things." 

Jackson winks sleazily at him and Bambam laughs out loud. 

"In all seriousness, thanks," Jackson nods. "Thanks for coming up with this. It could seriously benefit all of us."

Bambam replies with a very genuine smile and reaches out to squeeze Jackson's hand tightly.

 

 

 

Yugyeom wasn't expecting Bambam to be home for another two hours, but he should've known better than to trust Bambam's shady scheduling. 

He should've made the extra step to be more careful, but when Youngjae had came to visit him, he didn't think it would lead to what they were currently doing. They were initially planning on watching a new drama Yugyeom was really excited about and they kind of needed an excuse to hang out together. 

First, Youngjae had just sat next to him, but as the episode had passed, he had moved closer, closer, until he was practically on Yugyeom, who didn't really mind it. Then came the touches, the casual whispers, the electricity in the air and soon their lips were on each other again. It was the second time they had kissed, still a little weird and awkward, but Youngjae's lips were just as soft as the first time and his hands even more daring than before. 

But when Youngjae was seated on his lap like he belonged there and Yugyeom's hands all over the smaller man's body, their door suddenly opened and in came Bambam. He was clearly about to say something but upon seeing what was happening right in front of his eyes, he just screeched so loud someone probably thought it was a fire siren going off.

"What am I seeing?!?" Bambam yells, his backpack and the grocery bag dropping onto the floor with a loud thump.

Youngjae and Yugyeom separate from each other, Yugyeom accidentally tossing Youngjae off of him with a bit of unnecessary force. 

"I repeat, what am I seeing?!" his voice is still way too loud and he's looking between the two, eyes so wide they're in danger of dropping out of his head any minute now.

"Nothing," Yugyeom mumbles and tries to save the situation. Youngjae's hiding his face with a pillow, but Yugyeom can tell he's laughing. 

"Nothing?!" Bambam's high-pitched voice screams. "Am I hallucinating? Am I in one of my sex dreams?"

"Please don't tell me you have sex dreams about me," Yugyeom covers his face with his hands, groaning loudly.

"Please don't tell me I just walked in you making out with Youngjae?" Bambam repeats, still bewildered. "When did this... Why did- What the fuck, guys?!"

Youngjae finally sits up, his face red and he's still chuckling to himself. Bambam stares at him with so many questions in his eyes. Youngjae just shrugs, leaning closer to the fire-red Yugyeom. 

"Explain!" Bambam yells, but he's laughing too. "I'm not letting this go!"

"Just happened," Youngjae grins. 

"Just happened?" Bambam repeats in disbelief. "How drunk were you?"

"Not at all," Yugyeom replies.

"The fuck? Yugyeom, you're straight. And Youngjae, the only relationship I've ever seen you be interested in is the one with your dog. How does something like this just happen?" Bambam makes his way to them and sits down by the couple, studying them up and down. 

The two just look at each other and laugh, grinning at one another like two kids. Bambam shakes his head. 

"Besides, Yugyeom, I'm really hurt you didn't let me be your first gay experience."

"That's disgusting," Yugyeom sticks out his tongue. 

"No, what's disgusting is that you didn't tell me about you and him right when it happened, I thought I meant something to you," Bambam wails in fake-sadness. 

Yugyeom just rolls his eyes, blush still staining his face. Youngjae leans against him, surprisingly comfortable with Bambam still staring at them.

"Well, now you know," Yugyeom throws an arm over Youngjae, pulling him slightly closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! i still have one chapter (and an epilogue of some sorts) left of this story before we're finished~ i'll try to publish the rest as soon as possible <3


	12. Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay guys, here it is, the last chapter ;; it's been fun but we're done now :') this chapter is extra long and i also finally wrote some smut so enjoy~ 
> 
> and i want to thank you guys once more for all the feedback i've gotten, you're all absolute dolls <3 
> 
> oh and also, if you've enjoyed this au, don't worry, because i've planned on writing some prequels/sequels etc. oneshots surrounding this story, like the story of how jjp met and came an item. and if you guys have any requests, i'm willing to take them too! i'm just really spent with college so i won't be writing that much but i'll try my best! 
> 
> <3

The winter break is finally upon them. All the exams are done, the next week is purely dedicated to rest and relaxation, or in some of their friend's cases - working (to be specific, in Yugyeom's case, still being the only one of them to actually have a proper job).

Jackson watches Jinyoung fuss over Jaebum's packing, adoringly smiling at the two bicker about the amount of socks Jaebum will need on their four day trip. He can notice Jinyoung's stressed and how cute Jaebum finds that. It's the first time Jinyoung's going to meet Jaebum's parents properly, not to mention all the other family members, it's understandable he's a little nervous.

"You're stressing for nothing," Jaebum mutters. Jackson nods from where he's lying on Jaebum's bed, where he invited himself to have a moment with them before they actually leave him alone for days.

"I'm not stressing about anything," Jinyoung protests.

"I can see all the way to here that you're stressing," Jackson peeps in and Jinyoung shoots him a glare. "Are you nervous about meeting his parents?"

"You have nothing to be nervous about," Jaebum says before Jinyoung can say anything. "They're going to love you," he takes a step forward and gently takes a hold of the pair of socks Jinyoung's holding and sets them back into his closet. "Because I love you."

Jackson pretends to throw up but his eyes are soft looking at Jinyoung's face twist into a huge smile. He's also pretty happy with the fact that Jaebum's relaxed enough around him to say something like that even if Jackson is in the same room as them.

He looks away when they kiss, suddenly feeling like he's interrupting a private moment. 

"What are you going to do on your break?" Jaebum asks after a while. They're back to packing now.

"Enjoy the fact that I have the entire house to myself?" Jackson shrugs. He does have some plans, but he's not sure he should talk about them, especially when Jinyoung's in the room. Telling them about what he and Bambam talked about earlier could probably cause a small heart attack on Jinyoung. And both Jackson and Jaebum agree that Jinyoung needs some time to relax. "I'll probably hang out with the guys who are still in town."

"So, Mark and Bambam?" Jaebum laughs to himself. "Sounds promising."

Jackson shoots him a look that tells Jaebum to shut up before Jinyoung starts asking questions.

"Have you talked to Mark yet?" Jinyoung raises an eyebrow at the mention of Mark. Jackson shakes his head.

"Do you think it would be an awful idea to just text him?" Jackson asks. Jaebum shurgs and Jinyoung frowns at him.

"I don't know," Jinyoung replies. "Honestly, do it if you feel like it. I'm officially excusing myself from this for the next few days," he continues and leans closer to Jaebum who instantly wraps his arms around him. 

"Great idea," Jaebum murmurs against his hair.

 

 

 

Youngjae's packing up while Mark lounges in his bed, absentmindedly playing with Coco who keeps on slapping him with her tiny paws.

"Are you going to be okay?" Youngjae asks as he zips up his duffel bag. "I can stay home if you want me to."

"You're not missing your trip because of me," Mark says sternly. "I'll be okay."

"You've been in your room for a few days now," Youngjae points out. "I haven't even seen Bambam here in days."

"I wanted some time by myself for a while," Mark mutters. "There's a lot on my mind."

Mark's been a little down for days now but being by himself with his only social contact being Youngjae who didn't even seem to be home most of the time has really helped him clear his mind. He hasn't really came to a conclusion, the decicion still too hard for him to make, but being alone without having to talk about it has helped a ton. It's been a calming experience.

"I understand," Youngjae pats his head gently. "But everything's going to work out. Trust me."

Youngjae's talking like he knows something, but Mark decides not to ask any further questions. If Youngjae's been talking to either of them, he doesn't want to know. 

"I sure hope so," Mark nods and rolls to his back. 

Youngjae's phone starts ringing with the song he's set as his ringtone. He picks it up with a goofy smile spreading onto his face. Mark's instantly interested, rolling back onto his stomach to eavesdrop. Youngjae notices him and rolls his eyes.

"I'm leaving in a few hours, my brother's coming to pick me up," Youngjae murmurs into the phone. "Sure." Youngjae suddenly shoots a look at Mark. "Maybe I should come there."

Mark raises his eyebrows and grins. Youngjae ends the phonecall.

"Who was that?" Mark pokes at Youngjae's thigh. "You haven't told me you have someone."

"I don't," Youngjae mutters. "It was Jaebum."

"Youngjae," Mark grins even wider, enjoying the small blush on Youngjae's cheeks. "Jaebum and Jinyoung left hours ago. Haven't you checked his Instagram?"

"Aw, shit," Youngjae whispers. 

"You don't actually have to tell me who it is if you don't want to," Mark teases. "I'm just happy for you."

"I'll tell you when I'm sure something's coming out of this," Youngjae nods. "Don't get ahead of yourself."

"Okay," Mark keeps on grinning. Youngjae gives him a questioning look. "I'm just excited. I can't remember the last time you had someone. It must be someone really special to have you interested," he laughs. Youngjae's always been the pickiest out of them when it came to dating. 

"Maybe," Youngjae's cheek glare red as he smiles to himself. "Or maybe not. We'll see." His face grows serious as he turns to face Mark again. "How about you? From what you told and what I've heard, it seems like you're in a bit of a pickle."

Mark stretches his neck and presses his forehead against the comforter. "Yeah. I need to choose. This kind of sucks," Mark sighs. Youngjae takes a seat next to him. "But I have to figure out something. I can't keep on making them wait forever."

"As I said, everything's going to work out," Youngjae gives him one of those smiles that could light up the whole city at night.

"Thanks," Mark smiles back at him. 

 

 

 

Yugyeom has his arms full of Youngjae almost as soon as he opens the door. 

"What are you doing?" he chuckles when Youngjae squeezes his middle like his life depended on it.

"Making up for all the hugs I'm going to miss during the next few days," Youngjae murmurs.

"Oh my god, that's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard," Bambam says sarcastically, now suddenly standing behind them. Youngjae glares at him playfully.

"Let's go to your room," Youngjae ushers Yugyeom away from the annoying roommate. Bambam makes a face at them when they disappear into Yugyeom's room. Inside, Yugyeom sits down onto his bed and Youngjae paces around for a while before he finally takes a seat next to him. 

"I really wanted to see you before you leave," Yugyeom murmurs. They're not touching, Yugyeom still feeling a little strange about the whole ordeal. Youngjae's hands are on his lap, fingers fiddling. "I'm sorry if that's stupid."

"It's not stupid. It's cute," Youngjae hums. He carefully places one of his softs hands onto Yugyeom's. "You're cute."

Yugyeom mutters something inaudible and Youngjae leans his head onto his shoulder. "Is it okay to still find this a little weird?" Yugyeom whispers. He can feel Youngjae nod against his shoulder. 

"It would be more weird if you didn't find this weird," Youngjae snorts. "But weird is good."

"It is," Yugyeom agrees. He turns to look at Youngjae. The other is smiling up at him, face beaming. "Wow," Yugyeom mouths and Youngjae bursts out laughing before pressing a soft kiss onto Yugyeom's lips. He pulls away, still smiling. 

"But I like this," Yugyeom says. "Us. You."

"You like me?" Youngjae grins teasingly. Yugyeom sticks out his tongue but nods playfully. "I like you too. But what... what is this?" Youngjae asks curiously.

"Uh," Yugyeom rubs the back of his neck. "It's a thing."

"What kind of thing?" Youngjae questions further. 

"A... dating? Kind of thing?" Yugyeom replies nervously and Youngjae giggles loudly.

"Oh my god, we're dating!" Youngjae yelps. "You're so cute. Boyfriend. Can I call you boyfriend now?"

Yugyeom makes a face at him, a face that Youngjae instantly kisses away. Yugyeom kisses back, their hands find their way onto each other and soon they're stumbling back on top of each other. Yugyeom's arms are tightly wrapped around Youngjae's waist and Youngjae's tangled up in Yugyeom's hair. It's slow and sweet, but there's an underlying tension knotting in both of their stomachs and when Yugyeom pulls Youngjae even closer, the other breaks away from the kiss, panting slightly.

"Are we going too fast?" Youngjae whispers, pressing his nose against Yugyeom's cheek. 

"I don't know," Yugyeom replies. "Are we?"

Youngjae pulls away a bit so he can see Yugyeom's face clearer. He looks a little embarrassed. "I don't... I don't want it to be like this," he mutters. Yugyeom raises an eyebrow.

"What?" Yugyeom's not quite catching on what Youngjae's implying.

"Our first time," Youngjae says so quietly Yugyeom hardly catches it. 

"Oh," Yugyeom nods. He hasn't even thought about it yet, but the tightness of his pants and Youngjae's crotch pressing against his thigh don't go unnoticed. He suddenly feels self-concious about what they're doing and looks away from Youngjae. 

Youngjae catches it immediately and his lips form into a tight line. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have- It's too soon," he mutters and he's about to sit up from where he's lying but Yugyeom's arms around him tighten. 

"No," Yugyeom presses a chaste kiss onto Youngjae's cheek. "I mean... Not now but... I want to do it."

"Do you really?" Youngjae raises one eyebrow, cocking his head to the side. 

"I'm willing to try," Yugyeom smiles sweetly. "But I'm warning you, I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to guys."

Youngjae lets out a relieved sigh, followed by a hearty laugh. "I'm warning you," he says in midst of giggles. "I know exactly what I'm doing."

"Oh, really?" Yugyeom grins with an impressed expression. The only reply he gets is another kiss.

As much as they both would've loved to lie there and continue kissing for hours on end, Youngjae needs to leave back to his apartment where his ride is going to pick him up soon. He says his goodbyes in the midst of small kisses, neither of them willing to let go.

When Youngjae finally does leave, Yugyeom's stuck in the doorway with a stupid smile and hearts in his eyes and he stands still until he can hear Bambam coming out from his room. He's already wearing a bomber jacket and carrying a backpack.

"Hey, you ogre, what are you doing?" Bambam laughs.

"Where are you going?" Yugyeom replies with another question and ignores the one Bambam asked him when Bambam starts pulling on his shoes. Bambam gives him a quick look.

"I have some plans," he offers vaguely, but the way he shifts his eyes away from Yugyeom's tell the other boy a lot.

"Do those plans involve the fact that Youngjae's just about to leave for his trip and leaving Mark alone at his apartment?" Yugyeom crosses his arms.

"Maybe...," Bambam looks around. "Just. If everything works out the way we planned don't expect me back for a couple of days."

"What?" Yugyeom snorts. "And who's we?"

"Me and Jackson," Bambam sighs. 

Yugyeom blinks and silences for a second. "So... You're actually going through with this?" Yugyeom shakes his head. 

"Yep!" Bambam grins brightly and sets a pair of yellow sunglasses over his eyes. "I'll tell you all about it afterwards."

"I'd much prefer you didn't," Yugyeom mutters and Bambam sticks his tongue out at him.

"Whatever. I'm going to Jackson's place now, we're perfecting our plan before we're telling Mark about it," Bambam winks and he's out the door.

"Perfecting your plan?" Yugyeom repeats but Bambam's already long gone. He suddenly realizes that he's all alone, with both Youngjae and Bambam gone so he decides to eat all the snacks Bambam keeps in his room while indulging himself in an another season of his favorite drama.

 

 

 

Mark phone beeps with a message a couple of hours after Youngjae said his goodbyes as his brother was there to pick him up. He had went on a long evening walk with Coco, made himself some food and sat comfortably on the living room sofa, ready to watch a movie. The opening credits are already rolling by when he checks his phone.

'we're coming over' is what the message from Bambam says. 

"We?" Mark repeats out loud and it doesn't take a second until he can hear the doorbell ring. His heart jumps up to his throat in panic and he pauses the movie and walks over to the door, warily opening it to the two incomers.

The 'we' turns out to be Bambam accompanied by Jackson and Mark must've frozen in his place for multiple minutes before they finally push him inside. Mark's still freaked out, every possible scenario running through his mind on why they're there but one popping out as the most prominent.

"So, you finally want me to choose?" he murmurs quietly, not daring to look either of them in the eyes. He wasn't ready for this, but he understands why the two are there. They're tired of waiting. They want to know. Mark has to make his decision now.

He stares at the cute dog socks he has on when both of his hands are taken by two different people.

"Not really," Bambam talks first. "We have an idea."

"It's going to sound weird, but hear us out," Jackson continues. Mark raises his face to squint at them, both smiling widely and looking like they're going to burst if they don't get to tell him. He's still insanely nervous, especially now that he has no idea what they're up to. They've clearly been discussing this beforehand together and Mark didn't even know they were friends again.

"Okay?"

"What if you didn't have to choose?" Bambam says with a wink. Mark stares, even more confused. His heart drops down to his stomach. They're so tired of waiting they're both dumping him is the thought that rises to his head immediately.

"What if you could have us both?" Jackson grins with a squeeze on Mark's hand.

Mark freezes completely. That was definitely not what he was expecting either of them to say. 

"Are you... What?" Mark splutters, looking between the smiling duo. 

"You like me," Bambam points at himself. "You like him." He points out at Jackson, then wiggles his finger between the two of them. "And we like each other."

Mark blinks, his bottom lip jutting out. He can feel himself shaking, blood rising up to his ears and making it hard to hear. His face must've been bright red.

"We're okay with this, all we need is your approval," Jackson smiles. "It's worth a try, Mark. We don't want you to be unhappy. If you can't choose, then don't."

"You guys," Mark whispers. He's overwhelmed, blinking rabidly and hands shaking. "You don't have to do this..."

"But we want to do this, Mark," Bambam says seriously. "This is what we all need."

Jackson nods in agreement, taking a hold of Bambam's free hand.   
"I think so too. I think this is what's going to solve all of this."

Mark doesn't know what to say, he doesn't even know which one to look at, so he just bursts into tears. The tears he's been holding in for weeks, for months probably. He sobs like a little kid, but he doesn't care. 

Two pairs of arms wrap around him instanly, sandwiching him into the warmest, most comfortable hug Mark's ever received. It feel so right, like it proves everything the two just told him. This is exactly where he needs to be.

"Are we really doing this?" Mark laughs between his tears, simultaneously trying to press his face against both of their shoulders. An indescribable warmth spreads all over his stomach, to the tip of his toes from the top of his head. His heart feels like it's about to burst out of his chest.

"Only if you're up for it," Bambam murmurs.

"I think we are," Mark replies and feels two pairs of lips press against his temples. "I think we definitely are."

 

 

 

It's all so overwhelming for Mark, so the two gently lead him back to his room and cuddle together on Mark's bed - that's definitely too small to fit three people. He still doesn't know who's body his hands should be on and it seems like the two understand his confusion. They're pressing kisses on any skin that's visible on Mark's body, Bambam softly nuzzling his face on the crook of his neck and Jackson's nose is pressed against his hair.

"Why did you two... Where did this come from?" he finally speaks quietly, his other hand interlaced in Bambam's and the other resting on Jackson thigh.

They share a look before Bambam talks. "It just kind of... popped into my head," he says sheepishly. "I wasn't serious about it first, but when I really put thought on it, this actually started to seem like the perfect idea."

"He told me about the idea and we had a really nice, long talk about it," Jackson hums. 

"I didn't even think something like this could be an option," Mark's talking very quietly, like he's afraid of breaking the beautiful moment he's sharing with the two. "Before you two came here, the only option I had was to break it off with both of you," he says with a sad tone in his voice.

"Really?" Bambam raises an eyebrow and looks at Mark sternly. 

Mark swallows the piece rising up to his throat. "I couldn't choose. I don't know. It didn't feel right to choose. I couldn't pick one over the other."

"Then I'm really glad we did this," Jackson grins against Mark's hair. 

"I don't even know what to say to you two," Mark nods. "I have no idea whether or not this is going to work but I'm... I'm really touched. I care about you two so much," his voice is shaky and Bambam instantly coos at him.

"And we care about you, that's why we're doing this."

"You don't have to say anything," Jackson continues. "We can talk about it more later. Let's just enjoy this now."

"Definitely," Bambam agrees. "There's a lot we need to still discuss. About the three of us, about you and Jackson, about you and me, about my commitment issues and your inability to voice out what you're actually feeling...," he pokes Mark's cheek gently. "But that's for another time. Another time and a few bottles of wine."

Mark finally cracks a smile and is instantly kissed by two pairs of lips. The kiss is messy and sloppy and Mark keeps turning his head to catch as much of the two as he can. He settles on kissing each of them one by one, starting with the plump, soft lips of Bambam.

Bambam kisses soft and sweet. Jackson kisses harder, more intense. Mark watches the two kiss each other in front of his face and he's suddenly very into what's going on.

Jackson pulls away from Bambam and smirks. Bambam licks his lips. "I didn't remember what a good kisser you were," he flirts and Jackson winks back at him.

"Am I that forgettable?" Jackson rolls his eyes.

"I've been occupied with kissing someone else," Bambam purrs as he leans back into Mark, catching his lips into his once again, leaving Jackson be the one watching this time around. 

If the athmorphere in the room was sweet and content earlier, it's taking a quick turn to being heavy. Intoxicating. Hot.  
Jackson's hands sneak under Mark's shirt, stroking up and down his toned stomach. Bambam pushes closer and Mark wraps his hand around the back of his neck. Bambam's hand joins Jackson's in pushing up Mark's shirt and soon it's off of his body and tossed onto the floor, quickly joined by the others' tops as well.

There's skin on skin, lips on lips and all over him. He bites Bambam's shoulders simultaenously as Jackson sucks a mark into his neck. Bambam's hand cups his ass while Jackson's fingers toy with the zipper of his jeans. His breath feels heavy when it's finally opened and two pairs of hands help him out of them. Mark and Jackson pull away Bambam's jeans and lastly it's time for Jackson's sweatpants. Their naked legs are tangled with each other as they're lying together with Mark still in the middle of it.

His body feels hypersensitive to each and every touch, the contrast between Jackson's roughness and the nimble, soft fingers of Bambam is driving him insane and he wants more, so much more. He whines when the said fingers push into his boxers and wrap around him, giving a few soft tugs.

"What do you want?" Bambam whispers. "Tell us."

Jackson gently pushes down the waistband of Mark's boxers, revealing half of his asscheek and grabbing roughly onto it, kneading it between his fingers. Mark whines.

"We'll do anything you want," Jackson murmurs against his skin.

"Fuck-," is all Mark stutters out. "Fuck, anything. Do anything."

"You have to be more specific, baby," Jackson continues. His fingers tease closer to Mark's hole, tracing the curve of his crack.

"Fuck me, touch me, anything, I need more," he whines, trying to push against Jackson's fingers and Bambam's hand at the same time. His eyes are closed but he can feel Bambam tossing something over to Jackson. The distinct sound of a cap opening and the squirt that follows tell Mark exactly what's happening and he cranes his neck to stare at Jackson's smiling face as he feels the fingers returning to where they were.

When Jackson pushes the first one in, a breathy whine escapes from Mark's lips. It moves in and out slowly and Bambam tries to keep up the same rhythm stroking Mark.

"Is this good?" Bambam murmurs against his lips. 

"Y-yes," Mark breathes out in ragged puffs of air. "I want more."

"Needy," Bambam rolls his eyes but he shifts around a little so his other hand can join Jackson's and suddenly Jackson's finger is joined by Bambam's. Mark's eyes roll back in his head. The stretch is different than it usually is, probably because he's being filled from two sides at once, but it feels amazing. Amazing like Bambam's hand on his cock and Jackson's hot breath on his ear.

A third finger is in him and he doesn't even care who it belongs to, not when it feels so good, the pressure of being stretched open feels good, rough but good. He's breathing in short breaths, an occasional whine releasing out when someone hits something extremely sensitive inside of him. Bambam's slow stroking paired with the sensation he's feeling with three fingers inside of him is nearing him dangerously close to his orgasm.

"S-stop," he asks. "Stop."

"Does it hurt?" Jackson instantly worries. They both pull their fingers away in confusion and Mark vigorously shakes his head. 

"I don't want to come yet," he pants, relaxing against the pillow for a second to catch his breath. "And it's your turn. It's not me you should be spoiling here. I'm the one who should be thanking you."

"Mark...," Jackson smiles softly.

"Stand up," he commands with a stern voice. "And strip."

Bambam and Jackson share a look but do as they're told, crawling out of the bed and stand up in front of it, not really knowing what Mark's up to. It becomes apparent in a few seconds, though, when Mark gets off as well and kneels down on the floor in front of them. He grabs each of their thighs to pull them closer to his face, leaking erections brushing against each other which makes the two moan quietly.

A hand reaches out to pet his hair when he judges on where to begin. He settles on grabbing Jackson's thick cock in his fist and giving it a stroke, simultaneously licking the head of Bambam's. He sucks in the head and tries to keep somewhat of a rhythm on Jackson at the same time, which proves out to be a little difficult but it definitely sounds like the two are enjoying it.

"Fuck," he can hear Jackson grunt and he decides to turn his attention to him for a while, switching his other hand onto Bambam to keep them both satisfied. He alters between the two of them, if his mouth is not one one of them, it's his hand stroking and tugging, getting more daring with every compliment that spills out of them, every tug on his hair and every moan he manages to push out of them. 

Craning his neck turns tiring in no time, so he pulls them even closer and the collective gasp when he pushes both of their cocks into his wide mouth at the same time makes him smirk around them. He almost feels like choking, for a second thinking he might've bitten more than he could chew, but he takes a few deep breaths through his nose and tries to swallow them even deeper.

"Holy shit," Bambam squeaks. "H-holy shit, Mark."

The stretch is definitely uncomfortable but he keeps going just for the sake of the noises he's getting out of the two, for the sake of the two hands fisting in his hair. He closes his eyes and focuses on breathing and his two hands working on both of them for the length he can't fit into his mouth, focuses on the lewd sounds and anything else but the pain.

Eventually, he pulls away when it gets too much and saliva's still spilling down from his lips when they're completely out of his mouth. He licks his lips and pants and the two hands feverishly pet him, like telling him what a good boy he has been.

All three of them stumble back into the bed in a midst of kisses. Mark is achingly hard and horny and he knows the two are too and without further questions, he lets Jackson manhandle him so he's on his knees and elbows on the bed, ass perched up right in front of the other. A hard slap meets his asscheek but all he does is smirk.

"Come here," he mutters at Bambam, gesturing the space in front of him, just next to the wall. It's the first idea that pops into his head on how to get the three of them off simultaneously. Bambam does as he's told, sitting down so his back is resting against the wall and Mark spreads his legs so he can fit his face comfortably between them.

As he takes Bambam's cock into his mouth, Jackson pushes into him in one go, earning a yelp from Mark and a satisfied grunt from Jackson. He tries his best to keep on sucking Bambam off as Jackson starts pounding into him, but it feels amazing, too amazing. He pulls away from Bambam completely and presses his face against his hip, a loud, vulgar moan spilling out as Jackson hits that spot inside of him. He hits it again, again, fingers gripping onto Mark's hip to angle himself so he doesn't miss it once and Mark feels like he's going to lose it.

He can feel a hand in the back of his hair, gripping very tightly and lifting his face up from where it was. His face is pushed back on Bambam and he takes him in greedily, sloppily, his mouth wet and utterly delicious. He lets Bambam's hands guide him, lets Bambam's hips buck up to his mouth and he realizes he's being fucked from both sides and it's the most sinful, phenomenal thing he's ever felt.

Jackson's move start getting erratic and his fingernails dig crescent moons onto Mark's skin. He's getting close and he voices it with a series of curses and groans. With a few more snaps of his hips, he stops and the hold on Mark's thigh gets so tight it's going to bruise later. He pulls away from Bambam again, only to feel what it feels like having Jackson come inside him, he does so with a bite on his lip and a moan that still escapes his mouth.

"Aw, shit," Jackson says after he's pulled away. "Fuck." He slumps down next to the two, Mark still lying with his ass up in the air and Jackson gives it a little affirming slap. "You can continue," he wiggles his eyebrows. Mark rises up to his knees with a wicked smile.

"What are you doing?" Bambam whines, because he's still achingly hard and was somewhat near finishing before Mark stopped.

"Something better," Mark purrs as he crawls over to Bambam so he's straddling his thighs and before Bambam can say anything, he's lowering himself down onto Bambam's erection. Jackson's come is still spilling out of him and when Bambam pushes in, it does so with a lewd squelch that makes Bambam swallow and let out yet another whine.

Mark starts rocking his hips, slowly rising up and sitting back down, gaining speed with every thrust. Soon, they're on a faster rhythm, Bambam's hands on Mark's narrow hips that are already bruised and bitten.

Jackson apparently gets tired of just watching and he kneels up as well, making his way to kneel behind Mark. He bites onto his shoulder and snakes his arm around so he can wrap his hand around Mark's cock bouncing up and down with him. Mark leans his head back onto Jackson's shoulder as he starts stroking him, bucking even wilder against Bambam.

"Shit, shit, shit," Bambam whispers in a feverish mantra. "I'm so close."

"Wait for me," Mark says, panting. "Please-"

Bambam squeezes his eyes shut and holds onto Mark even tighter. Jackson's hand keeps working between them faster, harder, coaxing Mark towards his orgasm. 

"I can't-" Bambam moans out loud and throws his head back against the wall as he comes and as he's reveling in his climax, Jackson manages to work Mark to the edge as well. He spills all over Jackson's hand and on Bambam with a breathy whine, his whole body shuddering with the sensation.

Mark slumps against Bambam who's lean arms wrap around him. Jackson's stronger ones wrap around them both and they fall down onto their sides, a sweaty, tangled mess on the wrinkled bedsheets. But they're happy.

"Wow," Mark breathes out finally. 

"Wow, indeed," Bambam replies with a happy sigh. Jackson agrees with a pleasant hum, pressing his nose against Mark's bruised shoulder.

"I honestly don't care how dysfunctional this is going to be if I get to have sex like this," Mark snorts and Bambam laughs loudly. Jackson merely chuckles, but Mark knows he agrees with him. He's absolutely not sure on whether or not this would work out but what just happened is enough to convince him to try. 

There's still so much to talk about and go through, so much to solve and bring to a conclusion, so much that Mark would rather not think about right now. All he wants to think about are the two hands on his thigh, interlaced with each other. 

 

 

 

 

"So, how did your trip go?"

Jackson sets down two ice cold beers in front of Jaebum and Jinyoung and takes a seat in between Youngjae and Mark, giving Mark a quick brush on his shoulder. It's late at night, the pair had came home a mere few hours before and Youngjae just the day before and they all decided to get together for the sake of the winter break still having a good two days to waste.

"It was nice," Jinyoung hums, his whole posture way more relaxed than it has been in weeks. He smiles at Jaebum who smiles back and Jackson gets the distinct feel that they had been on their honeymoon. "Jaebum's family is amazing. I haven't had to cook, clean or do anything for days."

"But you still did," Jaebum snorts and jabs Jinyoung with his elbow. "He kept on helping my mom cook even if she insisted that he didn't need any help."

"I'm just preparing myself for the future when you're exactly like your dad, lying around on the couch watching TV instead of doing chores," Jinyoung shoots back.

"You're implying he isn't already like that?" Jackson jokes and everyone laughs. Jaebum crosses his arms and glares at Jackson who sticks out his tongue.

"What about Youngjae?" Jaebum changes the subject to talk to his best friend. "Did you have fun?"

"Oh, definitely!" Youngjae claps excitedly. Yugyeom next to him gives him a sweet look that goes unnoticed by most of them. He starts blabbering about his trip and soon a comfortable chatter falls to the room. It feels warm, everyone's there, no one's feeling awkward or weird.

"We actually have something to tell you," Mark breaks the chitchat after a while of discussing the matter quietly with both Bambam and Jackson. "An announcement of sorts."

Jinyoung raises his eyebrows and Jaebum eyes them curiously. Youngjae only looks at Yugyeom with wide eyes.

"We're dating," Bambam chirps. They all stare at him in silence.

"You and Mark?" Jinyoung asks in disbelief. "I mean. We know?"

"No, the three of us," Jackson continues and inches closer to the pair. Jaebum stares with his mouth open and Jinyoung's eyebrows near his hairline. Youngjae clasps his hands over his mouth to stop himself from screeching with laughter.

"They actually did it?" Youngjae whispers not-so-quietly to Yugyeom who tries to shush him. He earns questioning looks from Mark and Jackson who quickly ignore it to focus back on Jinyoung.

"Is this what really happens when I leave you guys alone for a few days?" Jinyoung sighs and buries his face into his hands. 

"Cool," is all Jaebum says while rubbing Jinyoung's back. 

Jinyoung straightens back up and dusts off his shoulders. "No. I'm happy for you," he says and nods to himself. "Good for you all."

They all laugh again, this time at how not-convincing Jinyoung is, but they thank him anyway, cuddling closer together. A weight has been lifted off their shoulders now that the thing is out in the open.

On the other side of the living room Youngjae shifts nervously and Yugyeom eyes him. Youngjae gives him a questioning look and Yugyeom nods, almost as if he'd been reading what Youngjae was thinking.

"Um, actually," Youngjae clears his throat. Everyone's eyes are immediately on him and he feels even more nervous. "I have something to tell you too."

Jaebum bites the inside of his cheek instantly and Jinyoung grabs his hand tightly. "Are you dating someone too?" Jaebum asks, the protective big brother in him coming out to the surface and Jinyoung squeezes his hand even tighter.

"Uh-huh," Youngjae nods and everyone's eyes are even more intently on him. Except Bambam's, who snorts loudly and looks away.

"Yugyeom."

The uproar caused by the simple name is unreal, both Mark and Jackson yelling as loud as they can, Bambam screaming just for the sake of it and Jaebum almost jumping out of his seat to tackle Yugyeom but Jinyoung stops him. 

"What?!" Mark screeches. "Yugyeom?"

"I knew this," Bambam smirks, satisfied with himself. 

"And you didn't tell me?!" Mark asks, still loud. 

"Weren't you straight?" Jackson questions. He's suddenly an inch away from the couple, studying Yugyeom's face.

"Eh," Yugyeom shrugs. He's glaring red and Youngjae uses his foot to kick Jackson further away.

"Mine," he hisses jokingly at Jackson who pouts.

Jaebum just glares at Yugyeom, making a neck slicing motion with his hand and Jinyoung's sigh is so loud it feels like it shakes the whole room.

"Jaebum," he says calmly. "We're never taking another trip again. They're out of control."

"Agreed," Jaebum mutters, eyes still intensely on Yugyeom. 

Youngjae just giggles, hugging closer to Yugyeom who hugs him back, mostly for the fear of being murdered by Jaebum. 

"That was... unexpected," Jinyoung finally manages to calm Jaebum down enough to let go of him. "But I'm happy for you too."

"Me too," Jaebum grunts with his arms crossed and Yugyeom shudders. 

"I'm happy for all of us," it's Bambam who speaks now. "Look at this guys. It's all of us together again. Everyone's happy. Everyone's glowing and succeeding." He stands up dramatically. "It is kind of weird that all of us end up dating each other, but it just proves out what great people we are," he holds up his hand up to his heart and hiccups. "You guys are beautiful."

"Bambam, sit down," Jaebum snorts. "And shut the hell up."

"You're drunk," Jinyoung replies.

"Come on, guys, he was actually making an effort," Yugyeom fake-pouts. "Not really succeeding, but at least he tried."

"You get points for trying!" Youngjae puts his thumbs up.

"I take that all back, I hate you," Bambam huffs and crosses his arms, sitting back down and hiding himself behind Mark who pats his head. 

The room fills with comfortable laughter and even Bambam joins in after the initial sulking for the fact that his friends are assholes. 

Even if they all laugh at him, there's truth to his words that they all silently agree on.


End file.
